I've been looking around for the perfect whip or paddle. I want something that has some power with it, I don't want it to fill like a baby slap. I want the sting! Using a hand just don't work, needs to be harder but i also don't want my boyfriend to hurt him self trying to slap me as hard as i would like or feel as if he's hurting me! So here's my question ... Which is best a whip or paddle? and which has more force? which do you like best?