Who do you blame if your partner cheats?

  • Get a Free Rabbit Vibe with Orders $59+

Who do you blame if your partner cheats?

misterazor misterazor
do you blame your partner or the other person more? i think it's normal to blame both people...but who do you blame more...and do you blame yourself at all? give percentages if you can. this is intersting. i would blame myself more than the other two, i'm pretty sure.
12/28/2012
  • Buy 3 Items for $70
  • Buy 3 Items for $50
  • Buy 3 Items for $30
  • Save 20% on Luxury Toys
  • Add Some Buzz To Your Favourite Toy & Save 60% On Kit
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
All promotions
Voir Voir
I don't really care if they cheat and I find out about it it's over. Because if I can control myself in the face of adversity they damn well can practice the same. I refuse to blame myself for the actions of another person - they have free will I'm forcing them to do nothing nor do I excuse failure to please them as reason to cheat or to blame myself.

Because if I have a problem with them I'm going to address it TO them.
I expect the same to happen if they have a problem with something I am or am not doing.

Guilt is an emotion that I feel is a waste of time to indulge in. Although I do have plenty of regrets I just shrug my shoulders, make sure I don't repeat the mistake and move on.
12/28/2012
misterazor misterazor
Quote:
Originally posted by Voir
I don't really care if they cheat and I find out about it it's over. Because if I can control myself in the face of adversity they damn well can practice the same. I refuse to blame myself for the actions of another person - they have free ...
follow up...and thanks for the post, for sure...
do you take it as a personal insult if someone cheats on you?
meaning, do you think that when people cheat, they are doing it, not to gratify themselves, but to intentionaly hurt the person they are with?
12/28/2012
misterazor misterazor
Quote:
Originally posted by Voir
I don't really care if they cheat and I find out about it it's over. Because if I can control myself in the face of adversity they damn well can practice the same. I refuse to blame myself for the actions of another person - they have free ...
oooh, and...
...sorry to blabber...
do you assume that, if a person cheats, they have a "problem" with the person they are with?
meaning...do you think that a person happy in a relationship would not consider cheating?

perhaps this is how men and women are different, for the most part. i think that for men it doesn't matter that much whether they are happy or not with the person they are with. i mean, i think it matters, but it is not the determining factor as to whether they are likely to cheat.
12/28/2012
K101 K101
Quote:
Originally posted by misterazor
do you blame your partner or the other person more? i think it's normal to blame both people...but who do you blame more...and do you blame yourself at all? give percentages if you can. this is intersting. i would blame myself more than the ...
Your partner. There's only ever one person to truly blame and it's the cheater. Of course the other party can be at fault just as much if they knew that the person they were screwing with was not single. And they should both be held accountable. I hate that a lot of times, the person blames the one their spouse cheated with, and not the spouse. In any case the cheater is at most fault. It's never okay to cheat. It can never be justified.
12/28/2012
my name my name
Your partner
12/28/2012
js250 js250
My husband. We were in the situation together once and know firsthand that 'you' (the person) make the decision to cheat whatever the reasons behind it. We would never do it again, but if he did---he better run faster than my bullet can travel!!!!
12/28/2012
Bleu Bleu
My boyfriend. If anything (in our current situation), I'd have more of a reason to go ahead and stray but I'm staying strong because I love him but I've done nothing but be good to him so if he cheats he obviously is done with this relationship so so am I.
12/28/2012
SneakersAndPearls SneakersAndPearls
It depends. If she knew he was married, I'd blame both. If she didn't know he was attached, I'd blame him only, but I certainly wouldn't like her (wouldn't be able to help it).
12/28/2012
cricket cricket
The person who cheats
12/28/2012
TexasBrat TexasBrat
The person that cheats. It's not up to the other person to control someone else's partner's fidelity.
12/28/2012
Martiniman Martiniman
The person who cheats! The other person might not have any morals, yet again they might not have known a marriage was being destroyed, but the cheating partner did. The other person was simply taking advantage of a sexual opportunity. I would take it personal because of the marriage vows and her not talking to me first about the reason she's not satisfied.

This leads to another curious question...how many of the "other" people who had sex with a cheating spouse actually knew that person was married?
12/28/2012
MrWishyWashy MrWishyWashy
Your partner...no if's and or but's about it.
12/28/2012
Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
Blame is a waste of time and emotion. What has happened - is over. The only thing left to do is decide on your next course of action. End the relationship - or resolve to try and make it work.

In ether case - blame will get in the way. Lose the guilt and blame and move on with next steps.
12/29/2012
ashleynicholette ashleynicholette
Due to my extreme insecurities, I'd blame myself :/
01/03/2013
Total posts: 15
Unique posters: 13