Originally posted by
would you be concerned especially if he had his relationship status on single?
Oooooh! Considering my partner and I are 100% monogamous and do not engage in behavior with the opposite sex, this would be SERIOUS. Yes, there's absolutely a reason to feel upset. Jealousy is sad though. I cannot stand for anybody to feel badly about themselves, less than. It breaks my heart.
But the thing is, my partner would not do that and neither would I, so it's different. We would not be together if either of us was the type of person to go lusting after others or taking attention away from each other to go desire someone else like that. Honestly, there's truly nothing like a bond in a 100% monogamous relationship. There isn't jealousy. There isn't cheating. There isn't the worries of cheating like there is with more open relationships. When it's strictly the two of you, you have a lot more love, a stronger bond and something that's totally unique to anything else.
But if someone was bothered by their partner going and doing something like that, they have every right to stand up for themselves. Why do people (mostly women, sadly) feel like they do not have a right to say "excuse me, I deserve better and will not be treating like that." What is so wrong with waiting for the person who is for you and only you? It's actually a pretty dang huge blessing to have someone who's strictly for you, who absolutely loves you and only you? I am happy to be monogamous, and for us, monogamy includes not having sexual desire for other people. Crazy. And extremely rare, but there are people out here like that.
If it bothers you, move on to someone who's actually wanting to look at YOUR body. That would be my advice to a person who had to feel bad because of a partner going off and wanting someone else.
If it hurts, nobody should ever have to hurt that way.
Now changing your status to single when you are in a rel. is a big thing too! Yikes! If you are with someone, yet you want to let others know/think/believe you are single, then there's a serious problem, and there is only one reason a person would do that. You're either in a rel. or not. You either love them or you don't. This is why it's so important to get your wants/needs and desires right out on the table when a relationship is becoming more serious. Know what you want, know what you DO NOT want, know what you will not tolerate and vice versa. Discuss it and if you have different views, it's really a good idea to end things. I know that sounds more simple than it is, but my partner and I began our relationship like that -- laying it ALL out there. This is how I am. This is who I am and I will never be different. You want me or you don't. Thankfully, when it came to our needs, we both had the same. He wanted monogamy and so did I. We've been together for 6 years and are closer than most couples twice our age, to say it honestly. Like I said, a relationship where your actually monogamous and happy with each other and only each other is unlike anything else in the world. Sadly, most people either settle or just don't wait for what they really want in a partner. Then some people aren't like me. Some people want the opposite. But there's nothing wrong with you if you want monogamy, even if it is rare.