Your Inner Bitch--Do you leash it or let it loose? Love it or hate it?

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Your Inner Bitch--Do you leash it or let it loose? Love it or hate it?

js250 js250
I am going through a very painful and at the same time angry divorce right now. My Inner Bitch is in fine form and chomping at the bit to get out...however, I am trying to do the right thing and let it calm down a bit to keep my own butt out of trouble and not stoop to my soon-to-be-ex's level. I have to admit though, it is not easy to stay on the good side of myself and I want to let her fly...the plans I have come up with are priceless.

So--
--What do you do?
--How do you feel afterwards, honestly?
--Embrace that side of yourself or reign it in?
01/02/2013
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I let my inner bitch out on my cheating ex-fiance. It wasn't my smartest move since my inner bitch tends to put people in a hospital...and that's exactly what happened but the police knew better because he had already been diagnosed and after hearing about what he did to me they pretty much dropped the charges.

Afterwards, I guess it depends on the situation. I felt fine after that bit, but all the other times, I felt guilty because I knew I could have held it in.

I try to keep her in...but she loves to come out randomly.
01/02/2013
Rod Ronald Rod Ronald
OHHHH! There is nothing finer in this retched world the a refined bitch! It's a lost art to be honest. It's one thing to bitch about everything under the sun, it is another thing to let it fly and unfurl like a pride flag and let that shit soar.
I let mine out every now and again. When need be.
01/02/2013
Beck Beck
Oh, I let my inner bitch out sometimes. I try to stop it, but she comes spewing out of my ears as smoke as my blood boils with anger. I usually end up in trouble when it actually comes out. I try to breathe myself out of situations like that because I don't want to be in trouble.
01/02/2013
Ansley Ansley
I have my moments; what strong, empowered, free-willed woman doesn't?
01/02/2013
Bleu Bleu
My inner bitch leaks out ALL the time. I'm a smart ass, unfiltered teenager (19) who doesn't believe people should be bullshitted and that being BS'd is disrespectful. People usually think I'm a bitch for telling the truth or saying what no one else will say but many of my friends understand and they usually take advantage of the fact that I say what no one else is thinking.

Now, my boyfriend has seen me maybe 1/3 bitchy. We have been going through a rough patch and I have taken to not being as kind to him as I have been because he has been taking full advantage of my kindness and I don't take kindly to that. I have NEVER gone full bitch on someone. I think the day that happens a planet will explode or amazing will happen somewhere else in the world to make sure everything is balanced because I have been really good at controlling my emotions when I could go full bitch on someone.

I have gotten to the point to where I want to let it out - mostly at my mom because she will go all out bitch mode and I can't defend myself. I'd be homeless if I did do that to her. But I do rant in my head or let it out to my boyfriend and say all I wanted to say but not directly at her and I feel better if it comes out (it doesn't directly have to be at her).

I embrace that side of me. What else can I do?
01/02/2013
November November
Sometimes when I'm really angry, I'll sit down and write that person a letter. I say everything that I want to say to them, EVERYTHING! I keep on writing until I've gotten everything I want to say to that person on paper. Then I DON'T send it to them. I file it away. I've been in situations where I wanted to go off on someone but I couldn't, like my boss. This technique has helped me numerous times.

I know you're going through a difficult situation and I'm sure one letter won't be enough, but if you can just let your inner bitch fly on paper whenever you feel like it, I think you'll notice it helps. Once you've calmed down, you can think about what you want to say to this person and how you're going to say it, or you may decide you don't need to say anything at all once you've vented all your feelings on paper.
01/02/2013
Ryuson Ryuson
I try not to, as I'm usually a calm, easygoing person, but sometimes it's good to let it out on someone. I feel like there's a time and place for it, and kudos to you for not just going rampant on your soon to be ex!
01/02/2013
Bleu Bleu
Quote:
Originally posted by November
Sometimes when I'm really angry, I'll sit down and write that person a letter. I say everything that I want to say to them, EVERYTHING! I keep on writing until I've gotten everything I want to say to that person on paper. Then I ...
I used to do this but I throw them away/burn them now. Keeping something like that makes me paranoid that someone will find it or something. But it's a REALLY good method. I just burned a few of them when we started using our fireplace again.
01/02/2013
anonkitty anonkitty
I try not to let her out. I usually feel pretty bad about it afterwards.
01/02/2013
edeneve edeneve
I think it's normal to want to rip into someone when we're angry and hurt. I don't always do it cuz in my fantasizing of all I want to "do" to the other person, I end up seeing the possible consequences too. I don't like to have to deal w/ my conscious beating me up for something I did or said. however, I usually have someone to vent to where I can say anything I want w/o getting any flack back for it.
01/02/2013
Jaimes Jaimes
It's a tough question. While, yes, it feels strong and powerful to take control and put someone in their place, it's also a very venerable position to put yourself in over an extended confrontation. If your bitch is raging, chances are, she's raging in no-nonsense honesty. While it seems like that would be the point of letting her out, it also means that she's throwing down your entire hand for all the world to see.

Like many others have mentioned, I use the "type it out" method to quell my need to rage. It's nice to be able to read over what you've said, because once you stop seeing red, you start seeing strategy for true confrontations. You see good points in your argument, but you also get a chance to see, and get rid of, the weak points.

The sensitive reason to keep her in check is because you might say something truly hurtful that you could regret forever. But screw sensitive. Look at it tactically. If you can keep the inner bitch in check during the battles, and use her to your advantage, you'll be in a much better position in the overall war. Good luck!
01/03/2013
AwesomeAmanda AwesomeAmanda
I was in a 5 year long relationship that produced one child and ended very badly. At first I tried to keep the bitch inside. And then I realized I was doing it to the point of letting him walk all over me because I wanted to be the bigger person. So I stopped that and et the bitch come out. Things didn't necessarily get any better between me and him but I did change the dynamics of things. He is now completely out of both of our lives for good. I felt great at first being a huge bitch but it also came with a lot of guilt for me. I felt like I needed to be nice for my daughter. However I eventually realized that not doing anything about it was not good for her either. I eventually found a balance that I was comfortable with.
01/03/2013
*Camoprincess* *Camoprincess*
I try to keep her locked away but it is hard to, like right now she is slowly coming out an I doubt she will be put back up anytime soon.
01/03/2013
SaMiKaY SaMiKaY
Quote:
Originally posted by js250
I am going through a very painful and at the same time angry divorce right now. My Inner Bitch is in fine form and chomping at the bit to get out...however, I am trying to do the right thing and let it calm down a bit to keep my own butt out of ...
I've let out my inner bitch with ex's in the past. Sometimes I felt better than I ever had sometimes I felt like shit. It all depended on the circumstance and whether they deserved it.
01/03/2013
Kissy Kissy
Quote:
Originally posted by November
Sometimes when I'm really angry, I'll sit down and write that person a letter. I say everything that I want to say to them, EVERYTHING! I keep on writing until I've gotten everything I want to say to that person on paper. Then I ...
As in the same... instead of a letter I have a small journal. I always write when I am mad and only once did I read the letter to the person I was mad at. It is calming and effective, and gets all your thoughts out in one place methodically.
01/03/2013
Geogeo Geogeo
Quote:
Originally posted by js250
I am going through a very painful and at the same time angry divorce right now. My Inner Bitch is in fine form and chomping at the bit to get out...however, I am trying to do the right thing and let it calm down a bit to keep my own butt out of ...
I usually keep it in at the time and unleash with bitching later
01/03/2013
Chilipepper Chilipepper
Redheaded. Irish Temper. High IQ.

My acid tongue can kill.

Thing is, others are positive that I haven't released Her yet.

If that's the case, then there won't be anything left of the offender but red mist.
01/03/2013
Vanille Vanille
The bitch in me comes out when she needs to. I'm a Taurus, so you really DO NOT want to piss me off.
01/03/2013
Total posts: 19
Unique posters: 18