The Sex Toy Stigma

Contributor: Ropeguy Ropeguy
As a guy that has a pretty good sex toy collection I am keenly aware of the stigmas associated with their ownership. There are a couple of people I know that I can be open with about it, but I make sure to keep that to myself when comments are made at work or with anyone I don't know well as it most certainly has changed how some people have viewed me.

As a side note I am straight and in a committed relationship.
11/22/2010
Contributor: sunnie sunnie
Quote:
Originally posted by Darling Dove
I'm pretty sure everyone here has probably seen or had personal experiences with this- I know I have.
For some reason, it seems to me, whenever someone finds out you have sex toys, they think you must either be:
1. So bad looking you ... more
i used to think that toys were for those who didn't have a significant other, but now know differently and i am a fan of toys; they add to the fun that we already have...
11/23/2010
Contributor: sunnie sunnie
Quote:
Originally posted by Airlia
I don't get the stigma about sex toys. I haven't been to sex shops in the states in a long time but I remember them being shady stores that middle aged men lurked around. If they made them bright and sexy and appealing maybe that would reduce ... more
that's my perception of sex shops too, so i shop online for my toys; however, if the shops didn't have that stigma, i'd love to be able to just see the selections in person.
11/23/2010
Contributor: BluePixi BluePixi
Quote:
Originally posted by Darling Dove
I'm pretty sure everyone here has probably seen or had personal experiences with this- I know I have.
For some reason, it seems to me, whenever someone finds out you have sex toys, they think you must either be:
1. So bad looking you ... more
personally I think I have always been a little off, I was home schooled through my early education and didn't meet "everyone" until I was thirteen. The way "everyone" split into clicks of "their type" seemed bizarre to me. I learned pretty quick to ignore shallow comments and mass opinions, took me a little bit to stop looking down certain girls shirts though

Furthermore I live in a town with two colleges so Liberal and Tolerant attitudes are a little more common then they might be in other places. Some people still could benefit from learning to keep their mouth shut on either side of an issue at times.

I guess at some point growing up, probably when I decided I really liked anime even though none of my friends did. I just decided screw the masses I will do what I want, its not like its going to hurt anyone.
01/28/2011
Contributor: Linga Linga
I was completely unaware of the stigma of sex toys, so either I'm blissfully ignorant or it has something to do with me not caring what anyone else thinks about things my partner and I enjoy.
I'm in a long term relationship and we love to bring toys, stories and porn into our sex life and its not about not being enough for the other person, its about different sensations and experiences.
As for people who contribute to this stigma.. well all us toy lovers know they are the ones missing out
01/28/2011
Contributor: MeliPixie MeliPixie
I can't say I have experienced this stigma from anyone else firsthand. I used to be one of the people who looked at people who owned toys and watched porn as the insatiable whores. People into BDSM were weirdo freaks, and all those other stereotypical stigma... things, that people will spout at you. Then I realized I was gay. Then I noticed I enjoy pain, and like to be held down. And then, my boyfriend (yes boyfriend, I'm homoflexible, thank you) started pegging. With a dildo. Not just any cock, an obvious purple one with a bulb on it, specially designed for strapless strapon play. We now have a respectable array of toys, and I have amended my ways of thinking. The only person I have ever told about my toys in real life is my best friend, who thinks it's the most awesome thing ever and we trade info and ideas and opinions like highschoolers.
01/28/2011
Contributor: sixfootsex sixfootsex
Honestly, I think the powers that be don't want us to be sexually self-fulfilled.
02/06/2011
Contributor: zeebot zeebot
Quote:
Originally posted by sixfootsex
Honestly, I think the powers that be don't want us to be sexually self-fulfilled.
Sex makes people happy, and happy people don't consume as much as unhappy people.
03/03/2011
Contributor: Xavier7 Xavier7
Quote:
Originally posted by Backseat Boohoo
I get a lot of horseshit sometimes because I'm a lesbian. It's bad enough hearing, "Well, you just haven't found the right man yet," it's even worse when people assume I secretly want a penis because I use toys.

I ... more
Haha. Makes perfect sense! "The Men attached to them part", that is.
03/03/2011
Contributor: Eva Schwaltz Eva Schwaltz
Attitudes about sex toys seems to be getting a lot better. I've actually convinced quite a few friends to try some out and I talked about what materials were safe and which to stay away from. However, there are definitely some people out there just completely disgusted about these sort of things.
04/06/2012
Contributor: PetiteAsian PetiteAsian
Quote:
Originally posted by Darling Dove
I'm pretty sure everyone here has probably seen or had personal experiences with this- I know I have.
For some reason, it seems to me, whenever someone finds out you have sex toys, they think you must either be:
1. So bad looking you ... more
I think that highly depends on the age of the people you're asking. Maturity level also has something to do with it, as well as open mindedness.

It's a shame those who mock you have not or will never find the joy of sex toys Their loss! That's my view on it and I don't give a bleep about what they think about me owning sex toys.
02/21/2013
Contributor: LexiKitten LexiKitten
Until they have one themselves they just won't understand! Overall, people like to judge anything they can.
02/21/2013
Contributor: SaucyxGirl SaucyxGirl
I have been called a pervert, gross and a slut for having sex toys. Strangely it was always from females. My male friends have never seemed to be bothered or shocked that I own them, and I have even discussed masturbation with them in great length.

Not sure why the females that encounter view masturbation or sex toys as something unnatural and gross. hmm
02/21/2013
Contributor: icyqueen icyqueen
Quote:
Originally posted by SaucyxGirl
I have been called a pervert, gross and a slut for having sex toys. Strangely it was always from females. My male friends have never seemed to be bothered or shocked that I own them, and I have even discussed masturbation with them in great length. ... more
I think a lot of women view masturbation or sex toys as something unnatural and gross because society tells them to be sexual just to please men and be pleased by men.
05/16/2014
Contributor: SaucyxGirl SaucyxGirl
Quote:
Originally posted by icyqueen
I think a lot of women view masturbation or sex toys as something unnatural and gross because society tells them to be sexual just to please men and be pleased by men.
Sad part is that most(not all) of my female friends do admit to not being fully pleased by their partners. They admit that having an orgasm is something that has eluded them or that they wish their partner would do XYZ..
If I even bring up the fact that a vibrator could enhance their sexual encounters I get weird looks, and touching on the topic of open and honest communication with ones partner leads to uncomfortable laughter and a shaking of the head as they explain that they are too embarrassed to talk about sex with their partner.
05/16/2014
Contributor: Aesenthia Aesenthia
I read a post once and forgive me I cannot remember where I read it or who posted it, but it went something like this: "The female body is treated so strangely. Everyone is begging to see it naked, but when they do, someone's a hoe"

I kind of feel like sex is the same way. It's all over the media (magazines, TV, Radio) but as soon as it comes down to the day to day, it is treated so weirdly. Guys boast about sex, women shy away from it. If women talk about it, they're automatically a whore or a slut. Maybe I am just speaking from my own experiences. Having sex toys is such a stigma. It really is. I also live in a rural area and the ONE sex shop here is really grimy and only carries novelty stuff you'd see at a bachelorette party.

One of my best friends was a stripper at one point in her life and she is a smart educated girl with a husband and two beautiful girls, but she always thinks about that time of her life with such regret. Why? You are so beautiful, people paid to look at your body. Her and I can talk about sex openly, but when it comes to talking about sex toys she sort of scoffs.

It's really frustrating to me because I feel like toys can really just enhance the over all experience and bring different sensations to the bedroom. What could be so negative about that? >.<
09/30/2014
Contributor: Raymaker Raymaker
People will find any silly reason to insert their opinions into other peoples personal lives.
08/26/2015
Contributor: Inquisitor Inquisitor
Quote:
Originally posted by Raymaker
People will find any silly reason to insert their opinions into other peoples personal lives.
Agreed! It's sad but true...
08/27/2015