What kind of reviews do you like?

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What kind of reviews do you like?

Adriana Ravenlust Adriana Ravenlust
Just curious. As a reader and shopper, do you like serious, funny, story-like reviews? Or something else?

Personally, I don't like most humour and am easily annoyed by reviews which wind up to be more like sloppy fanfic than actually helpful because the writer is trying to write erotica.
11/06/2008
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Backseat Boohoo Backseat Boohoo
I don't mind humor, especially in the experience section. What I do mind is people who ramble on and on about their personal experiences and don't give me ANY of the general specs, like how it smelt, how strong the vibrations were...because while I'm glad YOU liked it, I want to know the more general stuff so I can figure out if I'LL like it. Epiphora and Dame Demi, for example, both write reviews that I think are general as well as personal.

I'm also a sucker for a very thorough review, a la Bulma's stuff. She pulls out all the stops!
11/06/2008
Miss Jane Miss Jane
Quote:
Originally posted by Backseat Boohoo
I don't mind humor, especially in the experience section. What I do mind is people who ramble on and on about their personal experiences and don't give me ANY of the general specs, like how it smelt, how strong the vibrations were...because ...
Yeah, I agree. I like to know WHY it made you scream loud enough for the neighbors to hear, not what you screamed.. etc.
11/07/2008
Miss Jane Miss Jane
Quote:
Originally posted by Adriana Ravenlust
Just curious. As a reader and shopper, do you like serious, funny, story-like reviews? Or something else?

Personally, I don't like most humour and am easily annoyed by reviews which wind up to be more like sloppy fanfic than actually ...
I like reviews that have a lot of detail and are well-written grammatically. If there are a lot of errors or weird sentence structures I get distracted.

I also find it helpful when people compare things in their reviews. Saying "this toy is pretty big" is a lot less helpful than saying, "this toy is pretty big; it's about the size of _____, maybe a little bigger." It's also nice when a little humor is injected, as long as it fits and doesn't just go off on a tangent; I think it all depends on the tone you write your reviews in.

Overall I have to agree with BB - give me specs or give me death!
11/07/2008
Airlia Airlia
Errrr - I'm guilty! I tend to add erotica and weave it through. Good to know that's not what you like. I do add humour where I've found I can.

I tend to like to read something entertaining. I want the information but not like a blasted list or boring manual. I guess that's what I think the difference is between a review and what the description and long list of instructions/product information is.
11/07/2008
Epiphora Epiphora
Don't worry, Sienna! Erotica is hot! I enjoy it in reviews as long as there is info about the toy as well.
11/07/2008
Dragon Dragon
That's a difficult and interesting question. What I like... Something that is not purely factual, dry and boring. That's hard sometimes. It's not always humor that matters, and none of the reviews have enough space to actually write erotica, but some sort of personal touch. Otherwise it's just too damn boring. Facts. The facts that aren't part of the properties or that bear repeating. If it was easy to use, intuitive, some words of advice. All the information that you "should" know before you actually spend money on something and most of the time don't.

Keep it simple on cleaning instructions and safety. A lot of the reviews are actually starting to sound the same on this.

If it's a book. I sure as hell want more than "Lot of pretty pictures or the stories were hot!" Umm, you were supposed to read it. Tell me what type of pictures. Was it well written etc.

Do I meet my own standards? Hell if I know. I've written a lot of reviews, and at a lot of different times and moods. I'm in the process of going back and editing them because I'm annoyed at how Eden added links to the older reviews. I'm improving the style or many. Initially I felt as if Eden really wanted primarily factual reviews.
11/07/2008
Adriana Ravenlust Adriana Ravenlust
Quote:
Originally posted by Airlia
Errrr - I'm guilty! I tend to add erotica and weave it through. Good to know that's not what you like. I do add humour where I've found I can.

I tend to like to read something entertaining. I want the information but not like a ...
Well, I don't mind some erotica as long as a) it's not bad and b) that's not the focus of your review. Some people tend to forget it is a review and like Boohoo said, don't actually tell us anything useful about the toy.
11/07/2008
Epiphora Epiphora
The only reviews I don't like are badly-written ones, or ones that are made up of statements like "it felt soooo good!" I do enjoy humor in reviews, and I like when reviewers tell me something I could not have inferred from looking at the product page.
11/07/2008
Spiking Glue Spiking Glue
I am fine with any personal touch, erotic or humorous or otherwise...it's a part of a person's voice, after all.

I do prefer that reviews give you enough info to work with (that isn't mentioned in the product page, as Epiphora has already said), so that you can more easily visualize the toy's actual presence and decide for yourself if you're going to like it or not. After all, I've loved and purchased toys that others have given bad reviews of, on the basis of the fact that there are reviews of the product which mentioned how the toy actually *was*, without being 100% personal opinion.

A bad review for me, is just a long string of personal statements. 500 words of "It sucked!" in various degrees just doesn't help me out. :|
11/07/2008
Airlia Airlia
Quote:
Originally posted by Spiking Glue
I am fine with any personal touch, erotic or humorous or otherwise...it's a part of a person's voice, after all.

I do prefer that reviews give you enough info to work with (that isn't mentioned in the product page, as Epiphora has ...
Hahah 500 words of Oh my god A -MAZ-ING doesn't help me when I find out that I can't use this toy one way or using it another would have been better. Definitely agree with you on this one.
11/07/2008
Beautiful Dreamer Beautiful Dreamer
I love all types. It gives me ideas on where I can improve. It's sometimes nice to read really personal ones, especially if the toy has 14 other reviews.

I agree with everyone else though. If you can't at least attempt an actual sentence, can't be bothered to capitalize, and just say "OOOhhhAHhhh it felt fucking good", I don't care for it.
11/07/2008
Snappy Snappy
I like to laugh while I'm learning about products. I also like the personal touch that makes one reviewer's work unique and memorable. I like to read about their experience with the toy and especially, I worship SPECIFICITY. Generalities like it smelled bad(like what?), it was too loud(like a car engine?), it was too big(like a venti latte?), it felt good(your best orgasm ever? like a real tongue? like straddling a jackhammer?)leave me frustrated.
11/07/2008
Dragon Dragon
Quote:
Originally posted by Airlia
Hahah 500 words of Oh my god A -MAZ-ING doesn't help me when I find out that I can't use this toy one way or using it another would have been better. Definitely agree with you on this one.
LOL... Nice!
11/07/2008
Snappy Snappy
I love funny reviews and I worship SPECIFICITY. Generalities like "it felt great"(buzzy? throbby? soft? firm?) or "it was too big" (length? girth?) leave me frustrated. I also like to know how a toys feels when it is used in different ways (anally, vaginally, on nipples, clitoris, g-spot, anus, etc.) when that is possible. A review seems incomplete without that information.
11/08/2008
Nashville Nashville
I love funny reviews! LOVE them. Sex should be funny so when a writer is gifted enough to clearly transfer that into their writing I'm hooked. I love the erotica as well, sex sells so why not make a toy sound as steamy as possible? Chris is incredibly gifted in that aspect, I worship a lot of her reviews because of her ability to weave in incredibly sensual visuals with functional aspects of the toys as well.
11/09/2008
Total posts: 16
Unique posters: 10