40 Percent of Women Report Sexual Problems, Most Don't Care

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40 Percent of Women Report Sexual Problems, Most Don't Care

Viv Viv
Found a series of articles today on Google news that really surprised and sort of upset me. here's a link for one of them:

link

the study found that 40 percent of women find sex uninteresting, unsatisfying, or painful but only 12 percent find it upsetting.
WHAT? as a woman who dealt with anorgasmia (due to medications i was unable to reach climax under any circumstances for 4 years) I was at the very least "distressed." I think really fucking frustrated covers it more. I'm not saying that orgasm is pivotal and absolutely necessary to have amazing sex, because it isn't but i think that the idea expressed that sexual dysfunction in woman may be normal is worrisome.
In most cultures woman are not taught about their own bodies and never encouraged to discover how to pleasure themselves. We need a campaign as a society to educate woman about their bodies and to be proactive in their own sexual pleasure. It shouldn't be up to a partner to "give" an orgasm, sexual pleasure is found together. The belief that intercourse is just not pleasurable to most women is perpetuated by women not knowing how or even that they have the capability to take control of their sexuality.
I'd love to hear what others think, because I'm sure I didn't phrase that as well as I could have but I'm just sort of jotting down my reactions to start a conversation.

Also, thank you Eden for providing a community where we can have this conversation and for all your educational material
10/31/2008
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Backseat Boohoo Backseat Boohoo
"In most cultures woman are not taught about their own bodies and never encouraged to discover how to pleasure themselves. We need a campaign as a society to educate woman about their bodies and to be proactive in their own sexual pleasure. It shouldn't be up to a partner to "give" an orgasm, sexual pleasure is found together. The belief that intercourse is just not pleasurable to most women is perpetuated by women not knowing how or even that they have the capability to take control of their sexuality."

If I had a penny for every time I had to tell somebody where their clitoris is, as well as a nickel for every time I had to deal with people reacting violently when I told them I enjoy sex more than most men I know, I'd be rich as all fuck.
10/31/2008
Spiking Glue Spiking Glue
Actually, if I had found that article on my own, nine years ago, when I was 21, I'd probably have been quite comforted. I might have felt less dysfunctional and isolated. However, I don't think that it'd have stopped me from feeling remarkable frustration and depression about the situation.

It's a sad statistic. It's not at all what I thought it'd be.
10/31/2008
Viv Viv
Oh it's certainly good that at least this is being addressed, spiking glue--there is comfort in knowing that we are not alone when things are difficult. What scares me is that so many of the woman are not concerned and i worry that it is not because they have been educated on their options and their bodies and are just very zen with the whole issue.

and Backseat- I know, i grew up with zero sex education and i had no idea what a cervix was until i was 21 years old. crazy.
11/01/2008
Cunlinguist Cunlinguist
It's absolutely disgusting that this is the type of society we live in. I have a friend who can't get off using condoms and since she's only recently gotten on the pill has been risking pregnancy for pleasure. On top of that the girls almost entirely gay so god knows why she feels the need to limit herself to only men if they have so much trouble bringing her any .
11/02/2008
Cunlinguist Cunlinguist
It's absolutely disgusting that this is the type of society we live in. I have a friend who can't get off using condoms and since she's only recently gotten on the pill has been risking pregnancy for pleasure. On top of that the girls almost entirely gay so god knows why she feels the need to limit herself to only men if they have so much trouble bringing her any .
11/02/2008
Nickisonehere Nickisonehere
40%, wow. That's really shocking. I share your sentiments, Saurou, and I liked your post
05/06/2009
giggled giggled
Arg. I was on the pill and it dropped my normally ravenous sexual appetite to zero, perhaps negatives. Initially I thought it was something wrong with me, and luckily, I had the previous healthy sexual experience to know that there was something wrong in the first place. Three months off the pill and I've put edenfantasys in the monthly budget.

A HUGE part of female sexual dysfunction, in my experience and from what I've read, has to do with hormones. Finding a healthy balance of hormones for YOU is important, as is understanding your body and what feels good and arouses you. Whether its reading naughty stories, sexy fanfics, or watching all out hardcore bondage porn - whatever floats your boat, ladies. Really, the solution is two fold - a physical, hormonal solution as well as a mental and psychological solution - finding your own sexual identity.
05/20/2009
Luscious Lily Luscious Lily
Quote:
Originally posted by giggled
Arg. I was on the pill and it dropped my normally ravenous sexual appetite to zero, perhaps negatives. Initially I thought it was something wrong with me, and luckily, I had the previous healthy sexual experience to know that there was something ...
Amen! And thank goodness for men who understand that hormones ARE involved. When a woman can't get going, it's not always because she's not trying hard enough, or he's not good enough, or she doesn't love him, or that she's "frigid." Sometimes it's a medical issue, a matter of hormones.

My better half knew that it was my medication that killed my sex drive, even before I knew I'd lost it. And he didn't say a word until I figured it out, because he didn't want me to stress about it. He just cuddled me when we should have been all over each other, and never complained.

Having been there myself, perhaps I can shed a little bit of light on this statistic. When the issue is, as with giggled, a loss of sex drive, sometimes the desire to HAVE a sex drive goes with it. And sometimes it's a gradual, insidious loss, over the course of months, and you never notice until one day you turn around and realize that you haven't wanted sex in months. I all but stopped masturbating, I often pretended to be asleep when he tried to initiate foreplay, I actively avoided situations where we'd have enough privacy to have sex, and finally came to dread physical intimacy! If he was persistent and kept trying to get me going, the motor would finally turn on, and I could still thoroughly enjoy sex and have amazing orgasms. I had an inkling that something was wrong, but because of the way my sex drive had been messed up, I didn't care that it was a problem. Thankfully, I later woke up to the fact that something was seriously wrong, and switched off of the medication that was causing most of the problems.

But it's a very real issue that often, when the sex drive slips away, even sexually knowledgeable people fail to see it as an issue. Strange as the logic sounds, the thought process (if and when there is one) is often "If I don't want it, why should I WANT to want it?" and "If it's so great, but I don't want it, there's probably a good reason."

There's so much work being done on issues like Erectile Disfunction, and so little being done on fixing a broken libido. There are so many people, men and women, whose sex drives are dead or dying, whether or not it's due to medications; I'd like to see some research being done to give people back their sex drives. Not a magic pill that will make you have sex with the closest willing partner, as some people suggest this might turn out to be, but something that lets you want to have sex again, lets you experience desire without first jumping through proverbial hoops of foreplay fire.
05/20/2009
bodymodboy bodymodboy
I find it upsetting that those women don't want to try and fix it! Good sex is out there, ladies!
05/20/2009
deceased deceased
I've been on cardiac and blood pressure medications and antiepilectics for nearly two decades...it takes a while to cum. I've only presented the problem to one MD, she did try different medications but the result was not very good for me health wise. Other doctors have treated me like a receptacle-or just an orifice that someone could put a penis in. Like I did not need a libido because I was a woman, and now a middle aged woman.....When your sex drive dies, so do a lot of other drives. (How Ku'uipo got her groove back....)
06/26/2009
Cwhitten006 Cwhitten006
I am one of those people who could care less if I have sex. But I am also one of those people who believe I shouldn't have to achieve an orgasm solo, but then again I have not yet expierenced one. I still have great sex, when I get in one of my moods. And by moods I mean I'm like a crackhead with no crack. I'm begging my hubby for it 24/7. I love when I get that feeling, and I've been trying to figure out what I do different in life to make me feel so great and wanting him so bad, but I can't figure it out. Either I have to have it or I could care less about sex. My hubby also doesn't care for forplay unless its me sucking his dick, after that its time for me to bend over and thats thats. I want to learn to be comfortable with pleasing myself no matter if an orgasm is achieved or not. And I want to feel that urge all the time too, Any advice????
06/26/2009
Backseat Boohoo Backseat Boohoo
Quote:
Originally posted by Cwhitten006
I am one of those people who could care less if I have sex. But I am also one of those people who believe I shouldn't have to achieve an orgasm solo, but then again I have not yet expierenced one. I still have great sex, when I get in one of my ...
I don't know if not having an orgasm is a sexual problem if it doesn't bother you. I mean, I would be bothered if I had trouble orgasming, but I know a woman who NEVER orgasms during sex, but still enjoys it. I can still find sex incredibly pleasurable without an orgasm, provided it doesn't become an every day occurrence.

You say your husband doesn't offer you any foreplay in return...could you talk to him about this? Most people enjoy seeing their partners having a good time; it makes them feel good and heightens their own arousal. Are you comfortable with touching yourself during sex? Or perhaps immersing yourself in a kink to heighten your own enjoyment of the act?
06/26/2009
Cwhitten006 Cwhitten006
Quote:
Originally posted by Backseat Boohoo
I don't know if not having an orgasm is a sexual problem if it doesn't bother you. I mean, I would be bothered if I had trouble orgasming, but I know a woman who NEVER orgasms during sex, but still enjoys it. I can still find sex incredibly ...
I have talked to my husband about forplay several times. He will do foreplay the following time we have sex after the conversation and then its back to normal. I do enjoy sex with out an orgasm, but I hear how wonderful they are, and I'd like to be able to expierence what so many women brag about. I guess this is one of those curiousity killed the cat situations, except I'm hoping it don't kill me, lol. I feel fine playing with myself during sex, but to be honest I don't think I've got the hang of it. I use to feel uncomfortable with that, but one day I figured what the hell. So I'm still a beginner in that situation too. Sometimes my clit is extremely sinsative and others its like I'm not even touching it, when I'm know I am. I'm not sure. My body confusses me to be honest, and now that I'm thinking about it I don't see how my husband could if I can't. Another factor I'm wondering if it contributes to not having an orgasm is that my hubby doesn't last very long when he goes how I like it hard and rough, if goes slow and steady (which I've heard wins the race) he lasts much longer, but I don't enjoy it as much. See I'm so confused.
06/26/2009
Addalina1 Addalina1
Quote:
Originally posted by Viv
Found a series of articles today on Google news that really surprised and sort of upset me. here's a link for one of them:

link

the study found that 40 percent of women find sex uninteresting, unsatisfying, or painful but only 12 ...
being some one what has never had an orgasm I can understand how frustraiting it can be. I feel sex is over raited just because I don't have the feelings down there that I always hear about. It was not till after my hystroctemy (sorry bad spelling), That I had decided to experiment. I have had 2 kids and yes i have medical issues, but untill I discover something that works for their is nothing I can do about it. The drs don't know what to do because mens sexual issues are more important. Their are no studys out there about women with sd(my term for Sexual disfunction) you know like ED for men.
Also being from a family that would teach us as young girls that sex it bad and that you do not touch your self, that makes you a bad girl. And we don't want to be a bad girl.
Also many women are taught that they don't have a choice about sex. That you should never deniy your spouse or significant other you. That means you shoudl never deny them sex even if you don't want to have sex. You would be amazed how many to this day are still told that. I hear it more than not and like I tell people it is my body NOT YOURS!!
08/05/2009
Jaiya Jaiya
I am doing a study on Postpartum Sexuality and so far what I have discovered is that over 80% of the women in the survey have had some kind of major trauma to their pelvic floor and thus have painful or uncomfortable intercourse. But the biggest complaint is low libido. I also found that 1 in 4 couples isn't having intercourse. WHOA! This is an epidemic. I just had a baby and had major trauma, keloid scars and couldn't have sex at all. Forget it. But with some amazing help I am now scar free and feeling sexy! I can actually say that sex is improving every day. It is sad that so many women are having issues but we don't have education around these things. I felt lost in the begining and I'm a sex educator!
08/18/2009
Victoria Victoria
Quote:
Originally posted by Jaiya
I am doing a study on Postpartum Sexuality and so far what I have discovered is that over 80% of the women in the survey have had some kind of major trauma to their pelvic floor and thus have painful or uncomfortable intercourse. But the biggest ...
I totally agree - one thing I find myself telling pregnant friends and family members is that they need to make sure to read and ask about the reality of postpartum effects in general. I think that aspect of pregnancy is far too often glazed over quickly and leaves the couple unprepared for the reality. That was most definitely my experience.
08/19/2009
WildKimA WildKimA
I was one of the women who little by little lost her libido. I didn't even notice it was gone; I didn't care, just like the women in the survey. Since I'm partner-les, nobody was asking me to be sexual, but my whole life, with or w/o a partner, I had masturbated almost every day. That desire went away. Every so often I would masturbate (out of boredom I think), but I worked and worked at it and could not orgasm, even though in my earlier life I could orgasm very quickly. I got totally frustrated and stopped trying.

I'm pretty sure it was either a result of menopause or the drugs I was taking to lessen hot flashes (editorial comment: damned hot flashes, for heaven's sake, ten years are ENOUGH already!)

Then, miraculously, gloriously, astonishingly, my libido CAME BACK!! Better than ever, OMG. Here I am, a reviewer for EF; writing a blog on female sexuality, describing my most intimate experiences; and loving every minute of it. How I figured out that my sex drive was back is a long story. For the older women in the survey, I wish I could tell them that 1) it can come back and 2) it is so very wonderful, you WANT it to come back.

The only frustrating part is that it's pretty hard to find a new sex partner when you're older. But that's what toys are for, right?
09/06/2009
SexyStuff SexyStuff
I'm not surprised, after polling my friends I've found that a lot are simply not satisfied.
01/14/2012
K101 K101
Quote:
Originally posted by Viv
Found a series of articles today on Google news that really surprised and sort of upset me. here's a link for one of them:

link

the study found that 40 percent of women find sex uninteresting, unsatisfying, or painful but only 12 ...
I absolutely agree. Sexual pleasure is something found together. It shouldn't be like a chore or favor like taking out the garbage if you do the grocery shopping. It's supposed to be an intimate experience not a give and take game.

I've read "studies" that say there's no such thing as G-spot orgasm. It's pee. Of course these were men's opinions on women's bodies which really pisses me off. If we say we orgasm then damnit, we orgasm! We know the diff. Sorry, I'm beginning to rant...

Anyways, yes I find this is a little ridiculous. I am so sorry to hear that you had to suffer like that though Glad things are better!
01/14/2012
MamaDivine MamaDivine
Wow, this is pretty disturbing to hear. I think that a lot of this stems from us being a society that shuns any kind of sexual/sensual talk. Yes, sex is widely advertised in our society but its not TAUGHT. A lot of what happens as children is that we're taught its inappropriate to discuss it or ask questions/learn about our bodies. I think those women that feel this way are simply not being taught or shown how to enjoy their bodies and their partners. Also, I think a lot of women do not know their own "desires" or are afraid to encourage them. Maybe they are ashamed or taught to think that its not "acceptable". So they don't follow through with it. Its a shame I can only hope that when my daughters asks or are of age to know, that I have the right answers for them and can make sure that they develop a healthy knowledge and acceptance of themselves as women and lovers.
01/14/2012
pixxie87 pixxie87
theres a solution for evry problem. of course u should fix it if its broken
04/13/2012
Sangsara Sangsara
All I know is that I am SOOOO happy that I found my first vibrator an stim gel and that they led me here cause this is something I am SOOO passionate about- my sexual healing and helping other people with theirs is the world to me!
08/03/2012
Missmarc Missmarc
Quote:
Originally posted by Viv
Found a series of articles today on Google news that really surprised and sort of upset me. here's a link for one of them:

link

the study found that 40 percent of women find sex uninteresting, unsatisfying, or painful but only 12 ...
I'd be really unhappy if I cannot have orgasm.
08/03/2012
Danneh Danneh
I think that since we're taught its normal for women to not be satisfied- less women care that they aren't satisfied. and I think that this is something that should be rectified.
12/21/2012
novanilla novanilla
Quote:
Originally posted by Viv
Found a series of articles today on Google news that really surprised and sort of upset me. here's a link for one of them:

link

the study found that 40 percent of women find sex uninteresting, unsatisfying, or painful but only 12 ...
I totally and completely agree. It is so frustrating to me that women aren't educated about how pleasurable sex can be for us. My male partners have always been jealous of me because I have such long orgasms. We are capable of awesome sex and should get it whenever we want (in consensual manners!).
12/24/2012
TexasBrat TexasBrat
I reported an issue to my last gyno, & SHE blew me off. I was so upset. I felt like she was just "checking under the hood" for mechanical issues, but didn't care. I'm going to go to a different one very soon.
12/27/2012
Total posts: 27
Unique posters: 23