How do you feel about hearing "rape" in everyday speech?

Cougar in Training Cougar in Training
Using the word 'rape' in everyday speech to talk about something other than a violent crime seems more and more common. (I'm going to rape that test. I'm so horny I could rape anything right now.) Hearing it outrages me and I'm hoping I'm not the only person who has noticed this and feels this way.
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
I'm a survivor and this bothers me.
19
I'm a survivor and it doesn't bother me.
6
I use the word all the time to add emphasis.
9
I never use it and cringe when I hear it used.
58
I never use the word myself but it doesn't bother me to hear it.
11
Other...
18
Total votes: 121 (101 voters)
Poll is closed
04/29/2012
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P'Gell P'Gell
A few years ago, I realized I was becoming "offended" about anything and everything I could. I was almost searching out things to "be offended" about.

I decided I needed to deal with my emotions better, and not look for reasons to get upset all the time. I was harmed as a child, but I am NOT "a survivor" anymore than I am a "victim." The abuse does not define me giving the abuse too much additional attention (after I dealt with it in therapy) only serves to keep it in the forefront of my mind, and the abuse is far from the most interesting thing that has ever happened to me.

I refuse to let the abuser take over my ENTIRE life, he had those minutes, those minutes are GONE and I have healed and moved on. Not a victim, not a "survivor" just a normal woman. I won't give that pedophile a special place in my Identity.

Being "offended" by certain words, or considering myself a "survivor" or a "victim" keeps the man who hurt me IN CONTROL of my life, and he no longer has a place in my life. So, I'm NOT a "Victim" nor a "survivor." I don't care for that use of the language. But, others are certainly free to use it if they think it applies to their lives.

So, it doesn't bother me when people use words like "rape" I couldn't care less. I don't use the word for minor things, but being calm and staying calm is more important to me than to look for things to get upset about and analyze every one else's choices about how they want to use words. They are only words, and they only "offend" me if I CHOOSE to let them offend me.

I choose to stay calm, centered and UN-offended.

Just my thing. Your mileage may vary.
04/29/2012
Cougar in Training Cougar in Training
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
A few years ago, I realized I was becoming "offended" about anything and everything I could. I was almost searching out things to "be offended" about.

I decided I needed to deal with my emotions better, and not look for ... More
Very interesting...thanks for sharing your thoughts.
04/29/2012
Badass Badass
I don't think it is appropriate to use, so I do not. But it doesn't bother me to hear it in conversation. I just have to shrug it off. The only time it ever pulls my emotional strings is when it is in regards to actual rape..
04/29/2012
Rossie Rossie
I think it's improper, and honestly I have never heard my friends use the word like that in their speech.
04/29/2012
Petite Valentine Petite Valentine
I think overuse of the word cheapens and desensitizes people to it. That's not a good thing.
04/29/2012
31 Flavors 31 Flavors
I have used it but consciously avoid it now.
04/29/2012
Sex Positivity Sex Positivity
Being the survivor of many, many rapes, I am deeply offended when people use the word to describe events at are not rape.

It perpetuates a little thing called rape culture. Rape culture, if you've not heard, is the culture in which we live in that desensitizes people to the horror of this event. Rape culture is victim blaming. Rape culture perpetuates violence and is damaging not only to survivors, but to people who will become victims of this crime. Rape culture is perpetuated by things like rape jokes, using the word rape as a descriptor when it is not appropriate, victim blaming, rape apologism and other things of that nature.

While I take a similar stance as P'Gell, in regards to my life as a survivor and not a victim, I disagree with allowing this kind of talk to continue. I will ALWAYS call people out when they use such language, because I want to live in a world where I'm no longer afraid to walk down the street. I've given presentations on this subject, spoken to schools, told my story. I will not stop until our rape culture is reversed.

I feel like letting people use this word without my standing up for myself and other survivors lets my abusers win. I am empowered when I correct people on this and I will not stop.
04/30/2012
Errant Venture Errant Venture
Quote:
Originally posted by Petite Valentine
I think overuse of the word cheapens and desensitizes people to it. That's not a good thing.
I've never heard someone use 'rape' as a word in anything other than its actual meaning, so I don't really know how I'd react. However, I feel that Petite's words accurately fit my stance.
04/30/2012
CindyH CindyH
never use it my self and do not like rape
04/30/2012
gsfanatic gsfanatic
I find it distasteful, and discourage my friends who use it.
04/30/2012
catastic catastic
I think it makes rape seem like less of a big deal. It's a terrible crime and shouldn't be trivialized. It's also insensitive to survivors of rape or assault.
05/02/2012
P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by Sex Positivity
Being the survivor of many, many rapes, I am deeply offended when people use the word to describe events at are not rape.

It perpetuates a little thing called rape culture. Rape culture, if you've not heard, is the culture in which we ... More
I have to ask. Of course, you are where you are in dealing with your own assults, but do you think that constantly keeping it in the forefront of your mind perpertrates a "Victim as Super Star" culture? I especially refer to the Oprah-fication of America, where Victimhood or even "survivor status" is raised to not only an art form, but a way to keep the abuse and the abuser ALIVE in our hearts and our minds?

You and I may well be in different parts of our healing. I just feel that using words like "Victim" and even "Survivor" frequently calls attention to something that we should be working on, instead of dwelling on (and there is a HUGE difference, Oprah dwells and her "victimhood" is worn like a crown) And that, in order to become more healthy, we need to deal with our abuse, THEN simply disallow our abusers any more access to real estate in our minds and souls.

I just had to say this. You may feel differently and certainly have the right to, but is it benefiting you in the long run?
05/02/2012
comatose-kitty comatose-kitty
i'm not offended and don't really care.
05/02/2012
Kiwi Green Kiwi Green
not offended and don't care
05/02/2012
Rin (aka Nire) Rin (aka Nire)
I don't use it often, but I do on occasion. In the context of the example given originally: "I'm going to rape that test!" To me, it wouldn't be much different to say "destroy" or "murder" (or hell, even "beat" could call unpleasant thoughts to mind). True, one could simply say "pass," but if the intention is to add emphasis then I don't see anything wrong with using a powerful word.

For the record I've never been raped, but I do have a somewhat less severe parallel. I've lived with a lot of emotional abuse in my life, but it doesn't offend me to hear the word "abuse" used in situations where it doesn't quite fit (one quote that cracks me up: "It's the power of love! Or emotional abuse."). Same with joking references to suicide, even though I was once suicidally depressed. I can listen to and even find humor in them, despite my bad memories. Though the severity of both situations will forever remain with me, learning to live with and even laugh at them from time to time is what's given me strength.

Not that I'm saying everyone should learn to laugh at things like this. I'm simply telling of my own experiences.
05/02/2012
Khanner Khanner
Never been raped but I don't use the word that way because I know it upsets some people. Doesn't especially bother me although I'm informed of rape culture.
05/02/2012
Castielskitten Castielskitten
I've been raped as a child, so to me, it's a word that isn't said around me, so I don't mind it, but I will speak up if I hear it being used in such a manner that isn't right for the word.
05/02/2012
bh253 bh253
I know people who hate hearing it. It bothers me a bit, but even I am known to use it on occasion.
05/09/2012
Modern^Spank^Anthem Modern^Spank^Anthem
it's not a word used lightly
05/09/2012
joja joja
It bothers me, but I usually let it go. Gotta pick your battles.
05/09/2012
BadassFatass BadassFatass
It bothers me a bit. I personally, don't say it. I actually volunteer at a program for LGBTQ youth and another adviser and I have been discussing putting a program together for the kids to make them understand that such talk can be triggering and we're supposed to be a safe space for everyone.
05/09/2012
VelvetDragon VelvetDragon
It bothers the hell out of me, and perpetuates Rape Culture.
05/11/2012
TransMarc TransMarc
I consider myself lucky to not hear anything similar much where I live and I really hate to read that in english. It's distressing.
Not going to talk about personal things, still. Sometimes after you lived something you can't really put a distance between you and that everytime; it can comes back in vivid images even if you don't want, though you can work on that.
05/11/2012
pitona pitona
I hate hearing about it and talking about it and I hate that we have bad people in this world.
05/14/2012
Mrs. Tickle and Giggle Mrs. Tickle and Giggle
Quote:
Originally posted by Cougar in Training
Using the word 'rape' in everyday speech to talk about something other than a violent crime seems more and more common. (I'm going to rape that test. I'm so horny I could rape anything right now.) Hearing it outrages me and I'm ... More
It does not bother me at all to hear. I feel like people have become so sensitive to things that they are beyond taboo.
06/02/2012
meezerosity meezerosity
I hate how so many words have become common slang that completely demote their real meaning. "Grammar Nazi", "I'm really OCD about _", no you're nit picky. OCD is a real mental disorder...the rape thing bothers me too.
06/02/2012
Sinfully Sinfully
I've used the word rape out of context before and when others use it it doesn't bother me.
06/04/2012
MaeGal MaeGal
I do from time to time, though I really do try not to.
Especially around my friend who was raped, though I have slipped up a couple times. I'm not sure if it bothers her at all. She barely talks about it and no one is sure if it's because she dealt with it or is bottling things up.
06/04/2012
Bodhi Bodhi
I hate it when people use it out of context, I feel like it kind of 'normalizes' it.
06/07/2012
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Total posts: 54
Unique posters: 52