How much sex education is enough for our children in the school setting.

DeliciousSurprise DeliciousSurprise
Giving kids too much information is always a risk, but isn't it one that we should take rather than risking them having too little information?

When I went to school (I graduated high school in 2007, so this is *recent* sex education), all that was discussed was the symptoms of a few STDs, the effects of teen pregnancy, and the ways to prevent date-rape. That's it. No discussions of how to prevent teen pregnancy, no discussions on ways to prevent contraction of STDs, and no discussion at all of STIs. I don't come from a household in which this was discussed, so everything I learned about sexual health was done on my own--what about the people who didn't *want* to look these things up, or who weren't sexually pro-active? They fall through the cracks.

I do not agree that parents should be the ones taking the burden upon themselves, because sex is a taboo topic in our society and parents might be unwilling to have those kinds of discussions. If a parent can't bring themselves to teach their children that their vagina is different from their labia, and their penis is different from their scrotum, how are they going to discuss what to do if the condom breaks? Someone has to have these discussions, and if it has to be teachers, that's what it has to be.
08/15/2010
ScottA ScottA
In the computer field there's a term "security by obscurity." It means roughly "we don't tell them about it and hopefully they don't find it." It doesn't work.
08/18/2010
SexyySarah SexyySarah
I don't have any problems with schools teaching sex to my children (though at an appropriate age) I learned way to much crap from friends and riding the bus. I'd rather them learn the correct way of things then in the back of some guys car or on the bus home from school. Though my hubby and I are going to be proactive about sex, so hopefully my kids will learn more from us then school.
08/18/2010
Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
Quote:
Originally posted by SexyySarah
I don't have any problems with schools teaching sex to my children (though at an appropriate age) I learned way to much crap from friends and riding the bus. I'd rather them learn the correct way of things then in the back of some guys car ... More
SexySarah:

I agree in principal - sex education is a good thing. My problem is that in practice - especially in CA - they teach way too much way too soon. I had to put the kids in private school so we could do the training on a more age-appropriate basis.
08/18/2010
MnWolf MnWolf
Quote:
Originally posted by Gunsmoke
SexySarah:

I agree in principal - sex education is a good thing. My problem is that in practice - especially in CA - they teach way too much way too soon. I had to put the kids in private school so we could do the training on a more ... More
Gun,

That is great if you have the money that you can afford the private school, but for those that aren't able to afford it, what about them children. I know of families that had their children in private school and with the economy in the crapper the way it is, have opted to go public.

I know we all want to think of our children as these little angles that will never do any wrong, but there is sex everywhere. Children are learning about it faster and more in depth then ever before. Most of what they learn is really off the wall.

I have to wonder, what is so wrong with being sexualy aware of our bodies and instilling that into our children, as well as letting them know that it is alright to discover it. As mamals go, humans are the only ones on the planet that have sex for other reasons then procreation. Babies, both male and female have been observed rubbing their genitals, some even while still inside their mothers.

I think that a lot of issues with sex and sex education to our children rests on the facts that to some of us it pushes our boundries of what we think is right. If we are open enough to discuss our sexual adventures and such on a site like this, isn't it possible that just perhaps we need to rethink how and what we tell our children?
08/19/2010
Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
Quote:
Originally posted by MnWolf
Gun,

That is great if you have the money that you can afford the private school, but for those that aren't able to afford it, what about them children. I know of families that had their children in private school and with the economy in ... More
We sacrificed tremendous personal wealth to invest in our children - no new cars, no major vacations. We put the money where we think it mattered most.

My disputes are mostly with two things; when information is presented and secondly the approach. Too much sex education is driven by the LGBT agenda. I have no issues with what adults do - but exposing grade school and middle school students to this is out of bounds from my perspective. Many people think this is the right thing to do - and they are served well by the public education system. I also take exception to comparisons of human and animal sexuality. I'm sorry I just don't buy the comparisons.

I'm not saying what's right for the world - just what I think is best for my family.
08/19/2010
P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by Annemarie
I think it should be left at home for each parent to decide how they want their kid to find out about it. The choice is simple.

If I had a kid, I would tell them everything and let them make up their own mind. My parents pushed abstinence, ... More
I agree that the schools shouldn't have to handle everything. But, they have been leaving it up to the parents and as Abstinence Ed has been increasing, due to the former Bush Administration, the previously DROPPING teen pregnancy rate is now on the rise, as is STDs.

The thing is, the child (or teen) suffers from this lack of knowledge, not the parent. I know too many of my older children friends who have children much too young, have had pregnancies etc, and although these things irritate their irresponsible parent, it is the teen and her or his baby who suffer MUCH more in the end. AND you and I end up taking care of the bills when these kids go on Public Aid, WIC and other programs to take care of their misbegotten spawn.

Society itself, as well as the individual teens AND their would be babies do much better if the teens have the best of Sex Education. It spares us not only of the bills, but of crime and poverty. (It was proven that the advent of legislation of abortion in the 70s, was partly responsible for the dropping of crime stats. Less poverty stricken kids who are poorly parented, LESS crime. It's not mean to say this, it's a fact. We ALL do better when teens don't have kids....
08/19/2010
P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
Far from offending me I have to agree with you. It is MY responsibility to pass my moral beliefs on to my offspring not the community but then again I am one who believes the community shouldn't be on the hook for children born to underage kids. ... More
Airen, I wholely commend you for homeschooling your children. You are MY kind of Mama! (Hugs all around.)

However, I think, with all due respect, that as a homeschooler you KNOW how to do it all yourself, and not have to rely on others to educate your children. You are also a very Sex Positive Woman and know that kids can be taught "Don't do this until you are ready, but then....."

I also agree with you that values and morals should not be taught in schools, BUT FACTS should.

There is a way to teach Sex Ed with facts alone. Not only the parts of the body, but the mechanics of sex, how pregnancy happens, how certain acts DO NOT prevent pregnancy (yes, as you know anal sex can and does occasionally cause pregnancy by "leakage" of sperm down towards the vagina. Yet, at the present NO single school I know of even mentions anal sex, not to mention oral sex, GLBT love, or other forms of non PIV sex.

I think Society as a whole functions better if children are not having children and every child is a wanted and loved child. As MANY parents simply avoid thier responsiblity to teach the mechanics of sex and birth control, sadly is must be up to the schools to fill in the gap.

This is similar to Nutrition Education. You have no idea how many people I know object to the Nutritional Education our school does. "What da fuck? Fruit and fresh vegetables are expensive and I am NOT gonna buy Organic crap. Dere's nuthin' wrong with french fries and deep fried food. I eat 'em evvy day, am I'm FINE! How dare da school tell my kids dat my food ain't no good." Yet, I hear this ALL the time from people in my community, regarding our schools Nutritional Program. (And, yes, this is the Chicago Area, these people DO talk like this. Sometimes even less understandable.)
08/19/2010
P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by Owl Identified
Woohoo, hooray pinko-commie liberals! What with our bleeding hearts and hatred of freedom and such.
Pinko-Commies RULE!

My father in law actually used to refer to me as either a "Bleeding Heart Liberal" or a "Pinko Commie." My only comment to these things HE saw as insults was "Better a bleeding heart than NO heart at all."
08/19/2010
Envy Envy
Quote:
Originally posted by MnWolf
Gun,

That is great if you have the money that you can afford the private school, but for those that aren't able to afford it, what about them children. I know of families that had their children in private school and with the economy in ... More
Actually there are other animals that have sex or masturbate not specifically to procreate. I think one of them was dolphins?
08/19/2010
aleong aleong
I really like this discussion, and it's one that interests me. I'm majoring in public health and I'm finishing my last year, so this subject is something I'm always talking or writing about. I am completely for comprehensive sex education. I read on some previous posts that there are some who want it to be taught at home, but for many families, it's a taboo to talk about sex. I grew up in a fairly conservative asian household, and sex, and everything pertaining to sex is never mentioned in the household. So I would say that the school should step in and talk about it for a good bit. If the school doesn't want to do it, they can always welcome public health speakers who are knowledgeable in the area to make presentations a few times a month.
08/19/2010
aleong aleong
Quote:
Originally posted by Envy
Actually there are other animals that have sex or masturbate not specifically to procreate. I think one of them was dolphins?
Bonobos would be another one.
08/19/2010
MnWolf MnWolf
Quote:
Originally posted by Envy
Actually there are other animals that have sex or masturbate not specifically to procreate. I think one of them was dolphins?
OK, I stand Corrected. Dolphins and Baboons do also ingage in sex for other reasons but as it has been stated, for most animals it only happens when the female is in heat.

Here is more information link if someone wants to cut it up more, but in honesty the whole " only human thing " for sex was to be just a reference, and now this has gone way off course.

I guess, in doing so it is getting to how people really feel and this subject. With the different views that are shown here already, isn't it possible that either the parents step up, or the schools do?
08/21/2010
MsTryska MsTryska
Quote:
Originally posted by MnWolf
With times changing like they are, we have controversy in what should and shouldn't be taught in school to our children. It is common knowledge that the schools are still pushing for abstinence and that sex should wait till marriage. We know ... More
Hmm..this is my first post, but I've spent a lot of time thinking about this.

I grew up in NYS and by 8th Grade, the AIDS crisis was official. I remember my first sex ed class was in 4th grade - I went to Catholic school and the nuns got the one Laywoman teacher to do a very barebones, this is your body, anatomy lesson. From 8th grade onwards we got the disease lessons.

My parents never EVER discussed sex, not even abstinence only (which I think was simply presumed). This was sort of a good thing - because then there were no hangups for me to absorb. I learned everything I needed to know from a copy of "Our Bodies, Our Selves", which I checked out of the library several times. I am SO thankful for that book.

If it were up to me, schools would definitely have at the very least a Sexual Health/Hygiene class. Full on anatomy lessons, disease and pregnancy information, etc. I would also split up the classes by gender - boys aren't going to ask embarassing boner questions in front of girls, and girls aren't going to talk about pressure from guys to do things in front of boys.

It would be up to the teachers I think to provide a safe and open environment for LGBT stidents, but i think covering those topics would be a requirement in my perfect sex ed class too.

I know people would prefer to leave it up to parents, but for children from families like mine, it is a disservice. If I never learned on my own, I would probably have made much stupider choices based on peer pressure, then I did.

I look at my current bf, who was raised in my current Southern state, about 8 years younger than me, and the holes in his sex education trouble me. Especially from a disease and pregnancy prevention angle.
08/22/2010
Andromeda Andromeda
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
I agree that the schools shouldn't have to handle everything. But, they have been leaving it up to the parents and as Abstinence Ed has been increasing, due to the former Bush Administration, the previously DROPPING teen pregnancy rate is now on ... More
Do you happen to have any statistics showing that it is now on the rise? (Just outta curiosity) The latest studies I've read all show that teen pregnancy is still decreasing.
08/23/2010
MnWolf MnWolf
Quote:
Originally posted by Andromeda
Do you happen to have any statistics showing that it is now on the rise? (Just outta curiosity) The latest studies I've read all show that teen pregnancy is still decreasing.
Andromeda,
Hey I have some information here link it is the earliest I have on this subject. There are other sources of information on this as well, and all point to the fact that things are on the rise.
08/25/2010
MnWolf MnWolf
Quote:
Originally posted by Andromeda
Do you happen to have any statistics showing that it is now on the rise? (Just outta curiosity) The latest studies I've read all show that teen pregnancy is still decreasing.
Andromeda,
I found this one as well in my list, this one is as of April. The only thing is that you can find some of the information is doubled up in both of them so just take that into consideration if you get to really crunching the numbers, Ok!

Here is the other site link

Hope that helps you out.
08/25/2010
Andromeda Andromeda
Interesting. I know this isn't on topic really, but I'm doing a study for school on the correlation between the presence of teen pregnancy in the media (and how it is presented) and the teen pregnancy rate. It's not a perfect study, but I'm working on it.
08/25/2010
P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by MnWolf
Andromeda,
I found this one as well in my list, this one is as of April. The only thing is that you can find some of the information is doubled up in both of them so just take that into consideration if you get to really crunching the numbers, ... More
Thanks for the links MnWolf. I didn't see Andromeda's post until just now.

Yeah, pregnancy and STD were dropping for years (mainly due to more liberal policies during the Clinton Administration) but, as the links show, they are now on the rise. It takes several years for policy changes to have an effect, but the increasing conservatism, anti-sex attitudes, "abstinence only" and "marriage only" policies concerning sex have had a bad effect on our youth.

Although many of the ABOnly and anti-sex policies were started years ago, we are seeing the "results" now. And they aren't good.
08/25/2010
MnWolf MnWolf
Quote:
Originally posted by Andromeda
Interesting. I know this isn't on topic really, but I'm doing a study for school on the correlation between the presence of teen pregnancy in the media (and how it is presented) and the teen pregnancy rate. It's not a perfect study, but ... More
Andromeda,
Hey that is cool, I am glad that the links helped you out. If you need anyother information on it and are can't seem to find it, let me know I might have something that you are looking for. I have so many saved articles on my fav's it isn't funny.
08/25/2010
MnWolf MnWolf
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
Thanks for the links MnWolf. I didn't see Andromeda's post until just now.

Yeah, pregnancy and STD were dropping for years (mainly due to more liberal policies during the Clinton Administration) but, as the links show, they are now on ... More
P'Gell,

You know, with the media saturation like we have, and only half of the truth of sex being given out to children it isn't a suprise. Teens now days are not like the teens of years ago. Times have changed and sex education as well as the way American society looks at sex needs to change as well. It is hard enough to get some idea's of change through some people's heads, but still it needs to be done. Some say it is only right to teach abstinence only because teens are not able to deal with the psychological and emotional issues of being a sexual person brings to them. Teens deal with more issues that are a stressor then sex daily, if given the benifit of doubt they will deal with it.
08/25/2010
OhMy! OhMy!
We laugh at most "debates" at school meetings in regards to sex education. Most of the people objecting are the ones who are undereducated, and would benefit from much of the education being proposed. When we had health class in the early 90's (back in the day) they were very thorough. They were even smart enough to educate us on street terms, as well as other lifestyle/sexual practices. They covered everything from wet dreams and masturbation, to bondage and cunnilingus.
08/26/2010
usmcwife99 usmcwife99
I honestly dont think its the schools job. If someone can have sex and get pregnent then they should be able to deal with the responsibilty of raising that child and informing them.

At my sisters school they have to take health to graduate. They have a whole unit on mental health and safe sex and sexual preditors and abuse. My sister had a rough past and ime gonna leave it at theres a reason I now have custody of my sisters and are birth parents are spending the rest of there life in jail. She doesnt need to here about what rape is, or what sexual abuse is or any of that crap. Ime sorry but they keep preeching abstence and that its a bad idea to loose your virginity before you are married. Even though her situation was different then most she still has a hard time hearing that. She had to write a 2 page essay on what women can do to reduce there chances of being sexually harrased. Then this week they have a paper on what girls can do to reduce the chance of being date raped. I love my sister, she doesnt need to write papers on what shes lived. Ive wrote both papers for her, its bad enough for her to have to sit and listen to shit about it. Anyway if your asking me its not schools job for them to talk to our kids about that.

Even if my sister wasnt in that situation I would still not want the school teaching my kids about sex. Theres a different between teaching health and sexual health. I think that there should at least be an option not to take that course to graduate.

In the end I think that its to personal of a topic and that Ide rather teach my kids about it. I dont want them having sex, but ide rather let them know about condoms and stuff. They preech abstinence and in a perfect world that would be ok but its not, teens have sex. I may not like that fact but ide rather her know what she can do if she chooses to then be told not to.
09/25/2010
Jobthingy Jobthingy
When I was in school we learned about puberty, both male and female. High school they talked a bit more about it and showed us how to properly use a condom (the good old banana trick!)

Now, I was born and raised in Canada's Capital. I don't know it that was a board wide thing, province wide or maybe even country wide.

What I do know is that although I was in main stream, my daughter is in a special education class. Granted, these kids are not up to 'educational standards' (my daughter works at the pace of someone about 4 years younger than she is) but they have learned absolutely nothing about their bodies, puberty, nothing.

All she has learned is from me. She came home one day and started her period and although she knew it was coming it was still a shock. She wasn't sure how to react and I think that is partly because it is not talked about in her class.

I think that if it was, she would not feel so much like she is the only one.

Now all that being said, she is fine now. Mom's knowledge is just fine for her (plus friends of mine that talked to her about it so she knew we ALL get it)but it still is kind of an annoyance. I have to wonder about the other kids in her class. Those with parents that are not as open about things as I am. How do they feel and what do they do?
09/29/2010
namelesschaos namelesschaos
"If someone can have sex and get pregnent then they should be able to deal with the responsibilty of raising that child and informing them."

This is the point when every professor I've had as a student in a health-care profession would take your paper take out a red pen and begin writing "No NO NO!" on it. Thing aren't as they should that must be the primary fact driving the discussion not what things should be. Seriously do we discussion how to prevent over problems in our society this way? Kids shouldn't drink or smoke by law, drive unsafely and their parent should teach them about them yet we don't see an argument for teaching these topics in school being stooped on these grounds?

Just to drive the point home one professor made us SING "you have to start where the learners are" in class. In other word what should be is useless and irreverent, problem solving starts by identify what is (where leaner are not where they should be). But of course that the the problem, I'm interested solving problems, this "should" line of argument isn't about solving problems it about defending ideological perspectives...even at the cost of children health but hey their parents should have...
09/29/2010
whubwa whubwa
Quote:
Originally posted by MnWolf
With times changing like they are, we have controversy in what should and shouldn't be taught in school to our children. It is common knowledge that the schools are still pushing for abstinence and that sex should wait till marriage. We know ... More
Schools should teach the whole thing. in less of a study and pass the test at first and more of a sit down and listen to what we have to say and discuss it. We should tell them everything and throw innocence out the door. be honest with them. Yes sex is great and that's why people do it. However you're gonna get pregnant or get STI/STD's if you just have sex all the time w/o protection. So... it's good and healthy to learn about your sexuality, and work works for you and your partner... Everyone should have a practical copy of the kama sutra or something similar as well as a sex toy by the time they hit 18. Sorta like a right of passage.

Lets be honest.. What's worse? kids having no education, and then having sex, and then getting diseases and kids at a young age? OR telling them EVERYTHING, and they'll still fool around, but many will be much smarter about it... They'll know the risks and act accordingly.

Not only should we teach them about sexual safety, but sexual health too. Sex is GOOD for us. Orgasms are good for the body... Why not teach them how to have different kinds, how to please themselves and their partner? Lets be honest.. kids are often having sex between 13 - 17. So it's too late to say any education is going to encourage them to have sex. Their biology and puberty is doing that already! lol
09/30/2010
usmcwife99 usmcwife99
Quote:
Originally posted by namelesschaos
"If someone can have sex and get pregnent then they should be able to deal with the responsibilty of raising that child and informing them."

This is the point when every professor I've had as a student in a health-care ... More
Yep, thats whats sad that the key word is should

Its the same that parents shouldnt drink, or smoke and if so what to do/risks etc and alsong with all the other posible topics such as theft, etc
10/03/2010
usmcwife99 usmcwife99
Quote:
Originally posted by whubwa
Schools should teach the whole thing. in less of a study and pass the test at first and more of a sit down and listen to what we have to say and discuss it. We should tell them everything and throw innocence out the door. be honest with them. Yes sex ... More
The problem is not every kids gonna be comfortable in the class, and if there not comfortable there not gonna care what you have to say. I dont think its right to have to have a kid sit around and be honest, people cant trust people now days. Its none of the schools/classmates bussniess what he or she has done or wants to do.
10/03/2010
Yiggi Yiggi
Schools should teach everything. And teach it in an unbiased way, telling all the facts good and bad and not trying to make up kids opinions for them.
10/22/2010
Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
Quote:
Originally posted by Yiggi
Schools should teach everything. And teach it in an unbiased way, telling all the facts good and bad and not trying to make up kids opinions for them.
It's a good theory - but what passes for 'unbiased' is not the same for everyone. You can not ignore values, sex is not a robotic or procreative endeavor - there is a heavy does of emotions, actions and repercussions.
10/22/2010
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Unique posters: 115