How much sex education is enough for our children in the school setting.

Alura Une Alura Une
I don't feel like I had learned a lot from school sex education. Thank goodness I was very, very well-read on sex. I didn't have sex ed at home. I am actually grateful for this as I developed my very own sort of sexuality. But my young mind was really interested in sex and school wasn't enough. So I read encyclopedias, women's magazines, teen magazines, found my mom's romance novels, and when we got the internet--oh boy!! But I still dreaded sex education class despite all that lust for knowledge.

But the problem with school wasn't exactly how long we went over things, it was how things were taught. The focus was too much on hair in strange places and about baby making--which was unappealing to me then as well as now. There were old movies, diagrams about my menstrual cycle that I couldn't comprehend. There was never anything fun to keep us interested.

I remember being in middle school home economics(!!) when a student asked the teacher was a clitoris was. Our home ec teacher told us about it. -_- I can see now why teachers might feel nervous telling us about a part that is just for having fun. But we learned so little about out bodies, I felt. When my Bartholin's Gland got infected, I had no idea what was infected. I would have liked to have known more about understanding my fertility. My 29 year old friend and a mother just recently told me she didn't know what a cervix looked like.

Even late in high school, only a few of my friends were sexually active. I think there was a bit of fear in us. Which is good, because I do think that abstinence should be highly encouraged, but birth control use should be also. We needed to know our options better.

I think sex education should be made more fun.
10/24/2010
Emma (Girl With Fire) Emma (Girl With Fire)
Quote:
Originally posted by Annemarie
I think it should be left at home for each parent to decide how they want their kid to find out about it. The choice is simple.

If I had a kid, I would tell them everything and let them make up their own mind. My parents pushed abstinence, ... More
I think that this is a bad way to do it. Think about a situation with a strict religious or even moral code which demands rigid heterosexual standards, abstinence etc. These children will have no idea how to deal with situations when they arise other than what they learn from their totally clueless friends. There is a HUGE statistic of children just like this who commit suicide because they have no support and are in some cases terrorized because of who they are.
At the moment schools, at least in Canada, teach sexual anatomy, the physical act of heterosexual sex, give children a basic knowledge of stds, and show us how to put a condom on. There may or may not be discussion of sexual preference. At first I thought, they are teaching too much of something and not enough of other things. But I honestly believe that children should be better educated. They need to be informed with a better knowledge of stds and statistics. Not only what the symptoms are but the permanent repercussions of the treatable but not curable stds. They need to hear horror stories about other children like themselves making stupid decisions and contracting things like syphilis. They need to be made fully aware of gender issues and different choices in sexuality. And they need to be told that there is always SOMEBODY to talk to when they are in crisis. Somebody other than a counselor is less knowledgeable and almost as awkward to talk about some of the situations they will be dealing with then they are. I will definitely make sure my children are better aware then I was.

Most peoples parents give them some random speech about not having sex before they are ready, or before they are in love; about "being safe and using a condom". My favorite conversation with my mother involved the statement "a plastic bag is no excuse for a condom". I knew I would be loved no matter what I did or was. Not everybody is so lucky, and parents do not know it all. I think some of us may take for granted how knowledgeable we really are. There are a huge number of women out there who don't even know that wiping from back to front is what keeps giving them a yeast infection. There are thousands of young girls getting drunk and shoving lolipops up their snatch. The sex ed teachers have a curriculum which has been designed to teach students the things that are most important. Where we fall short now is where parents start freaking out and worrying that the knowledge will turn their children into sex addicts. Which should speak volumes of the information that parents would be handing down to their children if left to their own devices.
11/04/2010
Sera Sera
Quote:
Originally posted by MnWolf
With times changing like they are, we have controversy in what should and shouldn't be taught in school to our children. It is common knowledge that the schools are still pushing for abstinence and that sex should wait till marriage. We know ... More
They should definitely provide more sexual education for teens. I think there should be defense courses too! Alot of crap happens in high school.
11/15/2010
Carrie Ann Carrie Ann
My son recently told me his school told him condoms do NOT protect against HIV.

This is unacceptable. Schools need more - and BETTER - info for our kids.

Not that I don't want the responsibility - I talk to him about sex often - but I do NOT want inaccurate info being shared by supposed authority figures!
11/29/2010
PussyGalore PussyGalore
It's an uphill battle when you are fighting puritanical views. My sexual education classes in school made me MORE curious about what was going on and I knew the information they were giving didn't match up to what I saw on television and in movies. I soaked up information about sex as much as I possibly could and was more advanced in knowledge than any child of 14 had a right to be according to parental and societal values. My mother and I didn't have 'the talk' until after I had sex and was on my way to the doctor's for a HBC script and STD panel. This is when she decided to clue me in that she had a vibrator and encouraged masturbation over sex and in her words "it's too late, what's done is done".

My children (should I ever have any) will be educated and encouraged to keep an open dialogue about what they hear from friends, school, authority figures and creepy uncles.
11/29/2010
P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by Carrie Ann
My son recently told me his school told him condoms do NOT protect against HIV.

This is unacceptable. Schools need more - and BETTER - info for our kids.

Not that I don't want the responsibility - I talk to him about sex often - but ... More
My older children were told the same exact thing in the "Sex Education" class in HS. It was, of course, an abstinence based program and they guy teaching it was so woefully neglectful and uninformed that I actually sent a note, with references about all the shit he was telling the kids that were completely untrue and not factual.

His reply, "Well, condoms can come off or break, then you have AIDS." (facepalm) NOT a reason to not tell kids they are their best first line of defense against disease and pregnancy! He also exaggerated the percentage of people who are HIV positive and told the kids "In 10 years, at least a quarter of you in this room will become infected if you have sex before marriage." The school claimed it had NO recourse, as it was during the Bush Administration and they told me "We have to say that." So much crap.
11/29/2010
Anne Ardeur Anne Ardeur
Safe sex education is so incredibly important, and so many parents* have hang-ups, be they personal or religious, that IMO it's important for schools to do their best to give comprehensive safe-sex education to students.

If the parents want to teach abstinence-only education at home, that's their right - but teenagers still need to know how to protect themselves, and need to have an understanding of basic biology. If the parents won't do that, then the schools need to step up. Where else are kids going to learn, if not from family or school?


*consider this a catch-all term for 'any adult who has the responsibility of caring for a child or teenager regardless of biological/legal relationship or lack thereof'
11/29/2010
Emily! Emily!
Abstinence is not a good form of sexual education! I think that the schools need to give a basic prep education of sexual safety. And I think the pare nts need to take it from there and educate on the emotional and physical part of sex. The parents cannot rely on the school alone to educate their children on such an important subject.
11/29/2010
P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by Emily!
Abstinence is not a good form of sexual education! I think that the schools need to give a basic prep education of sexual safety. And I think the pare nts need to take it from there and educate on the emotional and physical part of sex. The parents ... More
Right.

But, I know too many parents who are Abstinence Only minded....most of them are grandparents by the time their little darlings are Juniors in High School. It's like a "thing" in our area.

IMO, Planned Parenthood should give a 3 week minicourse in EVERY High School in the Country, every year, and get paid for it!
11/29/2010
MnWolf MnWolf
Quote:
Originally posted by Carrie Ann
My son recently told me his school told him condoms do NOT protect against HIV.

This is unacceptable. Schools need more - and BETTER - info for our kids.

Not that I don't want the responsibility - I talk to him about sex often - but ... More
Carrie Ann & P :
You guy have seen first hand what it is that is going on in the school systems that support the whole idea of just dont have sex at all. Abstinence only by some schools is all about scaring the poor kids to death. The bad thing about that idea is that if the kid is curious about sex and or their body, they are gonna play around.

What do we do when the society that we live in, seems to take away most of the rights we should have as a parent. A child that has open parents that have taught that child that there isn't anything wrong with their bodies, and that it is ok. When that child not knowing any better tells or corrects others about what is right and what is not all the sudden has the attention of every child protection agency around because they think that the child is being abused in some way or another.

In a way yes some laws are needed to be in place, but at the same time there has to be a line there that parents know they are safe in telling their child the truths of sex in all its forms and not fear having the child or children taken.

I guess if schools are not willing to tell the truth, then parents should be willing to step up and do so. To me I have always said that sex is the best thing you will ever have the chance to know. The last thing I want to add is that I think it is best to talk about it at every chance possible. A few short talks hear or there are better then one big sit down talk. Now days though, instead of asking what they don't know about sex, it would be better to ask what they don't know... or what they think they know about sex. The internet is a great thing but just like anything else, depending on the information it too can be tainted or off.
11/29/2010
LavenderSkies LavenderSkies
Schools should provide more education on sex and sexuality.
12/05/2010
closed account closed account
The anatomy of it all is a school issue, including birth control, safe, and safer sex. I also think schools should provide resources for more information. I think they should briefly go over different sexual orientation and gender issues.

All of that because those are facts not opinions.

The opinions and moral aspects are for the parents. For example I was taught not to have sex until I was in love and loved back. This teaching served me well. Obviously different then some households though.
12/05/2010
MnWolf MnWolf
Quote:
Originally posted by closed account
The anatomy of it all is a school issue, including birth control, safe, and safer sex. I also think schools should provide resources for more information. I think they should briefly go over different sexual orientation and gender issues.

All ... More
Vanillafree,
You bring up a great thought and theory, BUT... What about the child who has no real models at home or the like. The days of "I love Lucy" are gone, the fact that there are more children living with a single mom or a dad in some cases just adds to the problem. The scary part is what if the parents are not the best roll model, the type that say... Do as I say... Not as I do.

I agree with you though, options to has sex and the morality of sex should be done at home... But here we go back to the above paragraph. I don't want the school to tell me what is right or wrong for my children in regards to their bodies and sex. But, at the same time I am aware that some children aren't as lucky and have no real out let for them to talk to. I believe that there is a fine line that is needed. One that will cover not only the basics but a little more then that. But, done in a setting that is non-intrusive.

What does everyone think of the thoughts of having students attend a program done by a group like planed Parenthood. Now, I am not saying they would be the group, but just the idea of an outside organization. What would be the problems with something like this being done in schools? Any idea's.....?
12/05/2010
P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by MnWolf
Carrie Ann & P :
You guy have seen first hand what it is that is going on in the school systems that support the whole idea of just dont have sex at all. Abstinence only by some schools is all about scaring the poor kids to death. The bad ... More
I agree totally.

It's an ongoing dialogue in our house. No "Big Talk." We use every day scenarios as Teachable Moments. It starts when a baby starts learning her or his body parts, penis, testes, vagina, clitoris, labia and butt are all included with arms, legs, fingers, head, tummy, shoulders etc. Babies and toddlers are always up for talking about their genitals, so it's good to start teaching them the right names for their body parts and what they are for then.

We've had thousands of "talks" with our kids. Some of them are funny, some of them are serious. Often it is just to answer a question or correct something one child heard that was not accurate.

One "Big Talk" is embarrassing for the child, and doesn't grow with the child. Ongoing dialogue is really the best way for us to do it.
12/20/2010
darthkitt3n darthkitt3n
I think schools need to teach kids a bit more about their bodies and sex. My schools "sex ed" class taught only about hygiene, eating healthy foods, abstinence, and some STDs. A lot of kids won't listen if someone tells them not to do something. Since abstinence is not the only choice people have as far as sex goes, they should be educating kids on their other choices. I suppose parents, too, need to talk to their kids about what they can expect from their bodies. Neither my brother or I have ever received "the talk" from our parents. I would have appreciated that at several different points in my life.
01/02/2011
Kiwi Kiwi
I think schools should definitely teach more than abstinence. Pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections are both common among American teenagers. I think information on sexuality would also break down some barriers against homosexuality. For many it is the unknown which causes the most fear.
01/07/2011
Vaccinium Vaccinium
As with any subject, kids should learn only facts about sex. Let them form their own opinions based on those facts. Facts are never dangerous, but opinions sure can be.
01/09/2011
Miss Voluptuous Miss Voluptuous
I think the quality is more important than the amount.

Leaving room for the kids to discover their own sexuality while providing support and enough safety information could work. But if you talk about it to much too specifically too soon, it kind of boxes kids in.

For instance, we had sex ed in kindergarden when I was in school. I think that was too soon. Or maybe at that age it's better to have that conversation with a parent or guardian.
01/16/2011
Vaccinium Vaccinium
Quote:
Originally posted by Miss Voluptuous
I think the quality is more important than the amount.

Leaving room for the kids to discover their own sexuality while providing support and enough safety information could work. But if you talk about it to much too specifically too soon, it ... More
Sex ed in kindergarten? Wow. I didn't have it until I was in high school, which was probably a few years too late. Right around the time kids start puberty would probably be the best time, IMO.
01/16/2011
Josh aka FootMan Josh aka FootMan
I strongly agree that kids need much more education in this area.. I think, however, that it may be better taught to kids if it were some sort of a joint lesson plan to be worked on between home with parents and school with teachers. There are some areas of sex ed that some parents don't want their children learning, and some that other parents do. Schools themselves are in no position to draw this line.. However, a lesson plan that parents could take as far as they deemed necessary for their children might be the most socially acceptable way to teach kids more.

My major reason for this thinking is this. One night, Jess and I were going out to meet a couple, with the intention on having some swinger fun that night. We stopped at literally every pharmacy and sex toy store for about 50 miles - In CT that's roughly fifteen different stores. We asked the pharmacist or manager of each store if they had dental dams. I shit you not that most pharmacists had no idea what we were talking about, and sent us to the toothbrush aisle. Others just looked at us with disgust as if assuming I needed a dam so I could eat out my STD infested girlfriend. Most of the toy stores said they didn't know what they were, never carried them, or said nobody buys them so they stopped carrying them.

Of everywhere we stopped, the owner of Luv Boutique said he had them but was out of stock, and proceeded to explain how we could make one out of a condom, sandwich bag, etc.

We decided to leave the oral sex out of the equation that night, but honestly.. is your average young couple of kids going to go this far out of their way for protection? Probably not... I was so appalled with the situation that I've considered at least writing the governor and planned parenthood and asking them what can be done to spread awareness of the different types of protection available, and where it can be found.

If anybody agrees with me about the protection debacle and would have something to say about in their own area, feel free to message me as we can get more done in numbers. This whole experience really bothered me.
01/16/2011
Emma (Girl With Fire) Emma (Girl With Fire)
Quote:
Originally posted by Carrie Ann
My son recently told me his school told him condoms do NOT protect against HIV.

This is unacceptable. Schools need more - and BETTER - info for our kids.

Not that I don't want the responsibility - I talk to him about sex often - but ... More
I don't think this is a good tactic but I do think that children should he educated about the possibilities of condoms breaking and coming off. Especially when they are younger and it is more likely to happen because they are just learning the ins and outs of sex. I know a lot of guys when they were young would had condoms WAY past their exp dates which made them more prone to breakage. Condoms should not be the only defense. Children should be taught that the only way to know for sure that you will not contract a disease from your partner is to see their test results. There is always a risk with sex, whether it be pregnancy, sti's, emotional repercussions whatever. Fortunately sex is awesome and makes it totally worth the risks as long as you protect yourself to the best of your ability. Which is what children need to be educated about.

(I am also all for them being fully educated about sexual preference and gender issues)
01/16/2011
deletedacct deletedacct
Quote:
Originally posted by El-Jaro
I'm a big proponent of Charter schools. I'm not a fan of morals and beliefs taught in schools, those belong outside of the curriculum.
I agree, schools have no place in teaching morals or discipline in school. Parents should act like parents and discuss sex ed with their children. If kids get into trouble then there should be consequences for the parents.

Often sex ed shows kids how to get pregnant but doesn't include prevention methods, STD education, the costs of raising a child, etc. due to the abstinence standard. Why teach prevention when we're telling kids not to have sex all together? Abstinence education is a failure.
01/16/2011
Madeira Madeira
Abstinence only sex education is a crock, give the little buggers piles and piles of condoms if it'll prevent them from acting idiotic
01/19/2011
RosesThorns RosesThorns
My opinion is that it isn't the schools job to teach sex ed. Parents should be teaching their kids these things. I do think that if the schools are going to teach sex ed it needs to include all forms of sexuality however.
01/23/2011
markeagleone markeagleone
Quote:
Originally posted by MnWolf
With times changing like they are, we have controversy in what should and shouldn't be taught in school to our children. It is common knowledge that the schools are still pushing for abstinence and that sex should wait till marriage. We know ... More
Schools should be allowed to teach to the kids. I think alot of parents have dropped the ball and they are the only ones left to help the children out. Parents here got angry the school was teaching about condoms. Now the sex ed consists of a movie and that's it. Not a movie that puts things out there point blank. I would say that has alot to do with teen pregnancy. No one is being honest with them anymore.
02/06/2011
lemony lemony
Sex ed in the US is dismal
02/13/2011
ninaspinkturtle ninaspinkturtle
Quote:
Originally posted by MnWolf
With times changing like they are, we have controversy in what should and shouldn't be taught in school to our children. It is common knowledge that the schools are still pushing for abstinence and that sex should wait till marriage. We know ... More
most schools never teach enough
02/16/2011
P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by deletedacct
I agree, schools have no place in teaching morals or discipline in school. Parents should act like parents and discuss sex ed with their children. If kids get into trouble then there should be consequences for the parents.

Often sex ed shows ... More
The operative word here is "should." People "should" do a lot of things. They usually don't. As the parent of 3 kids, two having already gone through puberty, I see few parents willing to step up to the plate and say much of anything about sex and protection. Yeah, they "should" but most don't.

What kind of "consequences" should the parent of a pregnant teen face? I'm sorry, but this makes no sense to me.

Even teens who are given proper info on sex sometimes make poor decisions. Teens fuck. It's that simple. Unless you go on all your kids' dates with them (and even then, they'll find a way to fuck when you aren't around) there is no way to be completely "responsible" for an other person's actions. But, yeah, the schools should (but don't) do more work to educate young people about their bodies and sexual activity.

I wasn't given any sex ed as a child. I took books out of the library, read the encyclopedia (I lost my cherry pre-internet) to learn about birth control and made an appointment with Planned Parenthood when it looked like I was ready to be sexually active. Of course, most girls don't go to that extent, but I KNEW getting pregnant or an STD was possible and not workable for me at an early age.

My older girls were not only given sex ed at home, (as the school did shit work of it) but, they, too, with my blessing saw Planned Parenthood when they were ready to become sexually active. Teach your kids how to use resources and you can't go wrong.
02/24/2011
sexyintexas sexyintexas
Quote:
Originally posted by MnWolf
With times changing like they are, we have controversy in what should and shouldn't be taught in school to our children. It is common knowledge that the schools are still pushing for abstinence and that sex should wait till marriage. We know ... More
Schools are where our children spend most of their awake time and where they are starting to "hook up" so I think that as much information as possible is a definate neccesity in school!
03/04/2011
Stephanie Marie Stephanie Marie
Quote:
Originally posted by Andromeda
Y'know, I'm not going to comment on the actual question in the poll, but I will say this....

"Sex ed" for me started in 3rd grade in very vague details, then continued in 5th grade (I had switched schools in 4th) in greater ... More
hahaha They showed us the condom on the banana in like 7th gradE?
03/13/2011
Total posts: 164
Unique posters: 115