Keep up a relationship despite VERY unexpected "history"?

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Keep up a relationship despite VERY unexpected "history"?

Bignuf Bignuf
A young guy in my office is VERY conservative. His dress, speech, politics,religion..eve rything is VERY conservative. Think "handsome young preacher" from a movie.

So, he is at a Zoomba class and meets a very nice, attractive young lady..and they go to lunch. She, apparently, is like minded and very conservative about most things.

They hit it off and start dating. All is roses.

Then...after THREE MONTHS of seeing each other, almost daily, they end up in bed (yes, three months). She (according to him) is a wild tiger there. He expected a virgin or maybe (being a realist), someone who had slept with someone (they are in their late 20's), but pretty "inexperienced like me", he said.

After a while, he had to ask and now, he wishes he had not. Seems that she had spent a year working in a legal brothel, and before that, a couple years as a street walker (good neighborhoods only, she claims) of a BIG city. She put herself through school...moved FAR away from that life and here they are, NOW.

He is freaked out totally (immediately went to get checked for STD's, AIDS...everything, even though she said it was well over 8 years before and she was totally clean and "had not even slept with anyone in two or three years").

She has called and texted him a few times. He really is confused. He likes who she is NOW, but he just cannot get his brain around what she WAS "in the past".

Some guys in our office think he hit the "jackpot". Other people we work with say "if you cannot deal with the emotional baggage, don't lead HER on".

What to do, what to do????? Any advice from the great EF family I can pass along???

OH...FYI, she did NOT (she claims), come from abusive family, history of drugs...NOTHING like that. She just had a GF turn her on to making "LOTS OF MONEY" in the sex trade, and she figured if she could do that, "on weekends" and make good money and save for school...why not? (Her logic). She now feels her choices were dangerous and not the best....but "the past is the past". Her parents (normal folks) NEVER had a clue, she says.

What say you, EF family????
07/23/2011
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AngelvMaynard AngelvMaynard
Quote:
Originally posted by Bignuf
A young guy in my office is VERY conservative. His dress, speech, politics,religion..eve rything is VERY conservative. Think "handsome young preacher" from a movie.

So, he is at a Zoomba class and meets a very nice, attractive young ...
I think it's a pretty simple choice. Either he can deal with her past, which at this point she can't do anything to change, or he decides it's too much for him to live with and he moves on. He shouldn't lead her on. He should also not make her feel as though her past choices must haunt her in this relationship. Perhaps she isn't that ashamed of what she did. She could have not told him. How would he have ever known if she hadn't. She sounds like an honest girl, who is clean of her past and ready to move on with him. He needs to be a man and decide if he can do that with her or walk away. JMO
07/23/2011
Orion Orion
I say if she is loyal and a good person who cares what she did in her past if anything she more mature sexually and knows what she likes. I think and i could be wrong but the more your woman experienced before you is better there's no regrets or something lost that she might want to make up later and leave your ass. Silly shit happens when you get older you know but if shes been there done that makes her more stable and mature. Got out of her system so to speak.
07/23/2011
Petite Valentine Petite Valentine
Some guys in our office think he hit the "jackpot". Other people we work with say "if you cannot deal with the emotional baggage, don't lead HER on".

Exactly how many people has he blabbed this information to? Seems to me she was honest and forthcoming, and he's being immature sharing her private information with everyone in the office.

Some people can't handle dating/marrying someone who is or was in the sex industry. He needs to take some time and figure out what's more important to him, her past or their future. Whatever conclusion he comes to, he also needs to keep the information to himself. She told him because she trusts and cares for him. I doubt she intended for the information to spread to everyone is his social sphere.
07/24/2011
AngelvMaynard AngelvMaynard
Quote:
Originally posted by Petite Valentine
Some guys in our office think he hit the "jackpot". Other people we work with say "if you cannot deal with the emotional baggage, don't lead HER on".

Exactly how many people has he blabbed this information to? Seems to ...
Well said!
07/25/2011
Total posts: 5
Unique posters: 4