Ashley Madison

I feel like that website streamlines the process, which I don't like. If something isn't easy, that might give the person time to think about what they want to do, think about the impacts, and maybe reconsider, or at least pursue help in a more constructive way. less

I feel like that website streamlines the process, which I don't like. If something isn't easy, that might give the person time to think about what they want to do, think about the impacts, and maybe reconsider, or at least pursue help in a more constructive way. less

I feel like that website streamlines the process, which I don't like. If something isn't easy, that might give the person time to think about what they want to do, think about the impacts, and maybe reconsider, or at least pursue help in a more constructive way. less

Although I do agree that some people are going to cheat regardless of sites like this, I still don't agree with this site, and feel that it probably does promote cheating, and enables some people to cheat who otherwise may not have.

I know this isn't the same thing, but I'll relate it to something like illegal drug use in young adults for example. If you make these drugs readily accessible for them, they are much more prone to experiment with them, than those who actually have to think it through, and go through some effort to acquire them. When you make an environment specifically catered to extramarital affairs readily available, you're destined to have a higher percentage of the population indulge.

Additionally, I feel quite strongly that a site like this conveys an abhorrent message to a society whose family and marriage structures are already in such a state of despair. I'm sure everyone here, or someone very close to them, has been affected in one way or another by divorce and broken marriages, and it's not a pretty thing, nor is it emotionally short-lived. To promote a behavior which is sure to directly lead to such a result is a crying shame. less

I think these sites absolutely make it easier to cheat. It's like the difference coming across a candy bar by accident on the street or somewhere equally random and deliberately walking into the store FULL of candy to buy some on purpose. One is far easier and far more likely to result in the purchase of candy.

That said, I don't think anyone going to cheat just because they find this website unless they were predispositioned to do so. In other words, making it easier doesn't "create" a cheater, it only reveals one. less

This is EXACTLY the same logic that people in Alabama are using to ban the sale of sex toys.

"If you make sex toys available, more people are going to buy them and therefore the great state of Alabama will sink into disgusting debauchery."

I think cheating is wrong, the STD issue is just the most practical of the many reasons I'd never cheat. But you know what, that's me.

People who use Ashley Madison might be in loveless, sexless marriages - they might be swingers - they might have an open relationship - they might be fastidious about using protection. They might even have a reason to cheat (that even us non-cheaters might sympathize with.)

If we start to pass judgment on how other people live their lives and what websites they use to facilitate that, how's it any different from those evangelical nutjobs criticizing us for being sex-toy 'perverts' and attacking Eden Fantasies for facilitating the purchase of and appraisal of said sex toys?

Different people have different standards of morality. Considering we're very far from being considered 'vanilla' I think we have a duty to uphold and respect that. less

Ok Red Roulette, I don't want a huge debate to go on here. I think we're kind of on the same side of this issue, in that while I'm not a fan of the Ashley Madison website, I'm certainly not saying that it should be shut down or otherwise regulated by the government.

Your main question:

"If we start to pass judgment on how other people live their lives and what websites they use to facilitate that, how's it any different from those evangelical nutjobs criticizing us for being sex-toy 'perverts' and attacking Eden Fantasies for facilitating the purchase of and appraisal of said sex toys?"

It's different because one scenario involves a person lying to (and perhaps cheating on) another person, and not just any person, but a person to whom they have made some sort of commitment (and if this isn't true, break it off instead of leading them on and staying in an unpleasant relationship). Criticizing me for what I do on my own with a piece of silicone is a lot sillier and a lot less serious because it doesn't involve lying to or cheating on another person (arguments could be made here that one could cheat on someone with a toy, but please let's not go there). The "evangelical nutjobs" who don't like sex toys don't need to buy them. They have a choice. But people who don't like a site that streamlines the process of having an affair may very well become the victims of such a site without a choice in the matter.

I'm down with open marriages and swingers and other people who communicate with their partners about their desires and needs in relationship, but Ashley Madison doesn't seem to encourage communication. It encourages people to have an affair because life is short. less

This is EXACTLY the same logic that people in Alabama are using to ban the sale of sex toys.

"If you make sex toys available, more people are going to buy them and therefore the great state of Alabama will sink into disgusting debauchery."

I think cheating is wrong, the STD issue is just the most practical of the many reasons I'd never cheat. But you know what, that's me.

People who use Ashley Madison might be in loveless, sexless marriages - they might be swingers - they might have an open relationship - they might be fastidious about using protection. They might even have a reason to cheat (that even us non-cheaters might sympathize with.)

If we start to pass judgment on how other people live their lives and what websites they use to facilitate that, how's it any different from those evangelical nutjobs criticizing us for being sex-toy 'perverts' and attacking Eden Fantasies for facilitating the purchase of and appraisal of said sex toys?

Different people have different standards of morality. Considering we're very far from being considered 'vanilla' I think we have a duty to uphold and respect that. less

I'm pleased you don't want a huge debate, because I probably couldn't sustain one! I guess I was just playing devil's advocate - whenever people start moralizing (rightly or wrongly) about other people's hypothetical private lives, I'm always jumping in with both feet with my libertarian bullshit!

Personally I liked the idea of Ashley Madison because hopefully it keeps all the cheaters and their shopping list of STDs in one small, collective pool. I wish!

Anyway, you're right!

I loved Licentiously Yours candy bar analogy - which leads me onto another one of my PET HATES. I've just lost 30lbs on a diet, so I do realise how tough it is, but I CAN'T STAND colleagues who get angry when their coworkers bring cake and candy into the office.

Just because YOU'RE on a diet doesn't mean other people can't share food! And I KNOW it's tough and I KNOW it's difficult to resist the temptation, but not eating it is ultimately down to personal willpower - not blaming a coworker who baked a tray of delicious chocolate brownies!

Does anybody else encounter this? Or is it just me?

I'm a pissy little brat this morning, aren't I? less