Biracial Relationships?!?!

Undecided Undecided
Have you ever been in a biracial relationship?
I usually only date white men as I am white. I have done a biracial relationship before the guy was mixed black/white. Many never knew about it..I am currently talking to a black guy I use to work with and hoping since I am recently single that maybe we can start something between us as he has been lusting after me for 6 months! Have you ever dated outside your race? If so what did your family think,friends and so forth? I will also mention there is a 17 year age difference with this. My mom says she approves as long as I am treated right and I am happy. I just know how society is and worried about what others will say or think as I am a Southern Country Girl who has strong feelings towards a black male. Any input or advice will be helpful If you have negative,hateful or racist remarks I don't want to hear them
07/04/2012
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Woman China Woman China
Quote:
Originally posted by Undecided
Have you ever been in a biracial relationship?
I usually only date white men as I am white. I have done a biracial relationship before the guy was mixed black/white. Many never knew about it..I am currently talking to a black guy I use to work ... More
Yup. More often than white guys or men of European decent.

I live in China, so there are hardly ever any white Canadians running about.

I find that the foreign men (from all over the world) I've dated here in China to be fantastic examples of human beings and our relationships have usually ended because one of us is leaving or because they wanted to make the relationship serious. The Chinese men I've dated... they like to control, too many refuse to learn and grow, and quite a number of them beleive that sex is for men only and that women are not supposed to enjoy sex. They try to refuse to wear a condom or listen to my opinions of putting on a condom (squirt of lube first anyone???)... and this is not all the Chinese men I've dated, but the majority. And yes, Chinese men in the bigger cities are sometimes different and each man is different and yes I am grouping Chinese men (of Mainland China not born and raised Chinese men of other countries born and raised) in the same group but I am jsut so grrrr about them!!!!!

Can you tell?

For making a relationship work when you have been brought up in the same town, city, even the same country is pretty easy as you have similar backgrounds. There are going to be some issues, but when you begin to feel your little radar of oh no something is annoying me flare, deal with it. Try to find out what is cause that annoyance. Is it because of the soap scent stuck to his skin or is it that he burps after each and every meal? Burping is sometimes cultural and accepted behaviour in some families. Deal with the little things and be sure to understand the reasonings behind them.

For my family when they have known I have dated outside my "race"... my father wanted to disown me, my friends thought I was insnae and then I moved to China and discovered, who cares what anyone thinks? Race is over thought of and if you really want to be a modern person? We are all humans. Who cares what we look like.

As for your seventeen year ago gap? Does it bother you? If your answer is yes, then you might have problems. If you answer no, whose business is it? If people respect you as a person, and they cannot respect you for your decision to date a man they do not approve of, did they really respect you in the first place?
07/04/2012
bbygrl1988 bbygrl1988
I never have, but I would have no problem with it. Family-wise half my family would be okay but the other would be a problem. In the end it comes down to what makes you happy.
07/04/2012
Ryuson Ryuson
Quote:
Originally posted by Undecided
Have you ever been in a biracial relationship?
I usually only date white men as I am white. I have done a biracial relationship before the guy was mixed black/white. Many never knew about it..I am currently talking to a black guy I use to work ... More
(I will be using the terms black and white in this post, I hope no one is offended. It's hard to refer to dark skinned people in a PC way because not all of them are from Africa, so you can't say African Americans. If someone knows of a better term please tell me!) I have never dated out side of my race for a few reasons. Firstly, I grew up on a very 'white' part of town. A very low percentage of my classmates were Asian, black, Native American, Mexican, Spanish, or whathaveyou. Because of this, it never really came up.

Secondly? I have never really found myself particularly attractive to 'darker' people. It's not that I hold anything against them or think them below me or anything, it's just a personal preference the way some people like curvier women. I can't even really ever remember having a crush on anyone who was Mexican or black.

I think that in this day and age, you should just go date whoever you 'click' with. If you meet a nice Asian guy you click with, cool. If you meet a white person you click with, cool.

With the current societal norms I think you may have more resistance with the age gap, but if you're on the same page mentally have fun! People mature at different rates, and if you're the same level of maturity don't let anyone tell you that you're wrong being in that relationship. You're both consenting adults and can tell them to put a sock in it.

Best of luck!
07/04/2012
Beck Beck
I grew up in a mostly white area too. I was told as a child by family that whites stay with whites and blacks stay with blacks. However, this is not my belief. I never did meet anyone that I felt attracted to enough to start a relationship with that wasn't my own race. I'm in no way against it. And don't support those who are! (Though, I do believe that people are entitled to think as they wish, but they shouldn't try to spread hate!)

I wish you the best of luck!

And I wanted to comment that we are very open minded people here on EF. I don't think you will have any hateful, racist, or disrespectful comments. For the most part we are all adults and very loving to everyone.
07/04/2012
Geogeo Geogeo
I'm ethnocentric--only attraced to my own race sexually. I imagine it all depends on where you grew up and who you were surrounded with.
07/04/2012
Undecided Undecided
Thanks for the input I was raised to date only my race but I am very attracted to this black guy I use to work with! No the age difference doesn't bother me I hoping that since he is older and mature that I will be treated a lot better then I have been by people my age. I just am not sure how to deal with the rude remarks that will be made by people when they find out
07/05/2012
Beck Beck
Quote:
Originally posted by Undecided
Thanks for the input I was raised to date only my race but I am very attracted to this black guy I use to work with! No the age difference doesn't bother me I hoping that since he is older and mature that I will be treated a lot better then I ... More
Laugh! Seriously, it's the only thing you can do. My partner and I are 19 years apart. And we have many rude comments. Especially since he is the same age as my parents. They even went to school together, but he didn't know me while growing up. He didn't meet me until I was 16.

Anyhow, laughing is the only way to deal with these rude comments. Try not to let them bother you. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks but you! If you are happy, then nothing else matters.
07/05/2012
Envy Envy
I've dated a few guys of mixed races and my family wasn't very happy at all. All of them failed, though, not because of their race, but who they were as people, either cheating on me or it just wasn't working between us. But race doesn't seem to bother me, I get more attracted to personalities.
07/05/2012
Nora29714 Nora29714
I haven't sorry... I've been married to Jo for 10 years. lol
07/05/2012
Kitka Kitka
I never dated anyone outside my race just because it never happened. I would have if the situation ever presented itself but it just didn't. I really don't think my family would have cared about his race at all if I had dated someone of a different race, they probably would just be concerned about me being happy, etc.
07/05/2012
Undecided Undecided
Quote:
Originally posted by Beck
Laugh! Seriously, it's the only thing you can do. My partner and I are 19 years apart. And we have many rude comments. Especially since he is the same age as my parents. They even went to school together, but he didn't know me while growing ... More
Thanks sweetie I have opened up to a few of my friends about the situation and who I was talking to so far I have people on my side. My mom is on my side as well and has told me as long as I am happy she really doesn't care. I just worried about everyone else when its all said and done. I know my ex will have tons of rude things to say which I shouldn't care what he has to say as I mean he ripped my heart out and smashed it. I guess it will still hurt though knowing exactly what he will say and then hate me more then I am sure he already does an won't ever talk to me again!

*sigh*
Any who we the guy I am talking to are meeting up soon
07/06/2012
gsfanatic gsfanatic
Yep, I dated a lovely asian woman for a few month, and other than odd looks from the local rednecks, it was no different from dating someone of the same race. Then again, most of the people I've dated have been odd, so....Do what makes you happy, people will always find a way to get offended
07/06/2012
Undecided Undecided
Quote:
Originally posted by gsfanatic
Yep, I dated a lovely asian woman for a few month, and other than odd looks from the local rednecks, it was no different from dating someone of the same race. Then again, most of the people I've dated have been odd, so....Do what makes you happy, ... More
Thanks for the response...Thing is I am one of those "rednecks" so to speak more so country girl,rebel flag,country music you know! The guy knows all this and it doesn't bother him he was worried about what my parents would think but they are supporting me YAY so we are going to go with it. I am just worried about my ex starting shit
07/07/2012
thisisadeletedaccount thisisadeletedaccount
I'm white and dating a wonderful Latin@, hasn't really caused any problems or gotten us any weird looks or comments, but we live in a fairly liberal area.
07/08/2012
Undecided Undecided
Quote:
Originally posted by thisisadeletedaccount
I'm white and dating a wonderful Latin@, hasn't really caused any problems or gotten us any weird looks or comments, but we live in a fairly liberal area.
Thanks I am just worried about what people are going to say especially my ex I know he will start shit "/
07/13/2012
JPito JPito
I am the product of a biracial relationship (dad is Mexican, mom is Caucasian), but I identify as white because of where I was raised. I've only ever dated white men because, again, I grew up/currently live in a predominately white area. I would have no problem dating a man of another race, though.

Ya know, I didn't even know that biracial relationships were a "thing" until my mid teen years. I remember watching a show then that followed a biracial couple and documented all the shit they went through, and I just couldn't understand why people took such issue with them, having been raised by a biracial couple myself. Ignorance is bliss, I suppose!
07/15/2012
xOhxSoxScandalousx xOhxSoxScandalousx
I'm in a bi-racial relationship now. My husband is Norwegian, English, Irish, German, and a little bit spanish. I'm Puerto Rican. We do get stupid stares from people sometimes but we ignore it! Some people are stupid and close minded.
07/15/2012
thisisadeletedaccount thisisadeletedaccount
Quote:
Originally posted by Undecided
Thanks I am just worried about what people are going to say especially my ex I know he will start shit "/
That's a pity. Really, though, if he says anything nasty about it, that just proves that there are some seriously good reasons he is your ex, not your current partner. If people can't understand how someone could enjoy dating/want to be with someone outside their race, that's their loss, and it means that they are probably not good partners to people of any racial group. Bigotry - it's not sexy.

If anyone gets really confrontational about it with you, my best advice is to just ask them why they care so much. Unless they want to sleep with one or both of you, your relationship really doesn't affect their life at all.
07/17/2012
Undecided Undecided
Quote:
Originally posted by thisisadeletedaccount
That's a pity. Really, though, if he says anything nasty about it, that just proves that there are some seriously good reasons he is your ex, not your current partner. If people can't understand how someone could enjoy dating/want to be with ... More
Thanks that really makes me feel a little better, I know though he will make racial remarks. I use to always say I would NEVER date outside of my race but they say never say never. The guy I am talking to was only worried about what my parents would think since I am a Southern Country Girl. My parents are all fine with it no problems as long as I am happy,I am slowly telling my close friends about who I am talking to in hopes that they are supportive. So far, with everyone I have told it has shocked them but they support me in what I am doing So that is a plus! I just have my worries and fears of things getting screwed up once my ex finds out. My new motto is if you aren't fucking me,feeding me or providing for me then don't worry about me. I just don't want things to get messed up between me and the guy I am talking to.
07/19/2012
humblepie humblepie
I have happily dated black men in the past. I do not live in the deep south and can't give you much advice or information on what you'll have to deal with, but I will say that if you have doubts or are worried you won't be able to handle other people's opinions you should not go through with the relationship. It will be unfair to the man you're considering, and will probably end well. From what you've said you will almost definitely have to face prejudice regularly, and if you can't handle it then you shouldn't get involved with him.
07/19/2012
humblepie humblepie
Quote:
Originally posted by Ryuson
(I will be using the terms black and white in this post, I hope no one is offended. It's hard to refer to dark skinned people in a PC way because not all of them are from Africa, so you can't say African Americans. If someone knows of a ... More
For a better term, you could try POC or person of color.
07/19/2012
Llahsram Llahsram
I haven't personally dated outside my "race"....but then I've only ever dated one person. I would, though.
07/19/2012
Undecided Undecided
Yes I have my worries he doesn't so much cause he usually dates white girls. Where I live its not unheard of you see it all the time but you also have tons of racist people around
07/20/2012
KrissyNovacaine KrissyNovacaine
I am of hispanic and northern European descent and I am mostly attracted to men that are of Native American descent. I have dated both hispanic and white men. *shrugs* I was born in raised in a very liberal area.
07/20/2012
Total posts: 25
Unique posters: 16