Is dating as tedious as people say?

Lavender420 Lavender420
I've been with my boyfriend for about 3 years, and things just aren't working out. When I do start dating, I don't want it to be like the way they portray dating in the movies - but I've even heard horror stories from my friends. Is it really like this now-a-days?
Answers (public voting - your screen name will appear in the results):
Yes - Dating sucks
Cherrylane
1  (4%)
No - Dating will be fine
Antipova , CoffeeCup , Pixel , idunshire
4  (15%)
Depends on the person/your outlook
dv8 , Peggi , jedent , Elnoa , Lucidity , ily , Sir , Wildchild , Girly Girl , padmeamidala , melissa1973 , SMichelle , P'Gell , sktb0007 , El-Jaro , switzerland , Rawhide , LilLostLenore , poetprincess , Chirple , Ms. Spice , aliceinthehole
22  (81%)
Total votes: 27
Poll is closed
11/25/2011
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jedent jedent
there's a blog called "a bad case of the dates." those are the worst case scenarios right there!
11/26/2011
Antipova Antipova
To be totally honest, I really like dating. Fun little opportunities to find out how a new person ticks.. you can watch them on their best behavior, ask questions about their jobs... I have learned *so many* interesting things from interesting people on dates. Even people who it turns out aren't going to be the ideal mate for you all have something interesting to say. To me, not getting to go on dates with new strangers is one of the biggest drawbacks of being in a monogamous relationship! (Totally worth it, though, when you consider the benefits.)

Just keep a positive attitude, and whether or not the person across the table (or whatever else you do... lots of times I'd cook dinner for a first date, unorthodox as that may seem, or go to a bike shop or on a walk or something) is the person for you, you'll learn something new and hopefully have a good time.

(And if you've got a positive attitude, it's more likely that the person you're dating is going to form a favorable impression of you!)
11/26/2011
CoffeeCup CoffeeCup
I like dating, too. I think it's fun for it's own sake.

I imagine it could be tedious if you don't actual enjoy the process of meeting new people and only view dating as a means to the ends of finding a new serious BF.

I always go into it with the idea that, maybe, all that will ever happen is I enjoy a cup of coffee with this guy, and that's ok. If we hit it off, that's ok, too! Even if he turns out to be a jerk, I'm going to get to laugh about it with my friends later! It's all good no matter what way it goes!
11/27/2011
Wildchild Wildchild
Quote:
Originally posted by Lavender420
I've been with my boyfriend for about 3 years, and things just aren't working out. When I do start dating, I don't want it to be like the way they portray dating in the movies - but I've even heard horror stories from my friends. Is ... More
I think things are as complicated as ppl make it. I tend to thro things right on the table. I have two kids, I'm a package deal. No Drama, fighting, games or bullshit. If there still sitting there and don't tell me to buzz off, Its a good thing. I have has one positive and one negitive expirence doing it this way. I felt much easier being around the person this way.
11/27/2011
Girly Girl Girly Girl
it depends
11/27/2011
Cherrylane Cherrylane
I hate dating. Like it's a sport. And I can't personally invision myself pursuing dates. I much rather just go about my business awesome and single and casually stumble upon the right person.

Maybe that's just because I haven't yet NEEDED to do that, but Idk, I just don't seek out mates or partners or whatever. I'm not with someone because I need to be with someone and they're the one I chose. I'm with them because they made me want to be with them, if that makes any sense.

Plus I think things are most likely to work when they aren't contrived.
11/27/2011
Chilipepper Chilipepper
Coffee Cup is right about those of us who don't enjoy it. I myself am intimated by the whole thing and I actually dreaded the 'just looking' time after I got over my divorce. Dating is for prettier, thinner, and more extroverted people. I feel drained after being sized up and judged by strangers (usually with a negative verdict).

I found Master by accident on a dating website - with the premise of everyone being in different countries, there was little chance of actual meeting, much less some guy saying they had no idea how fat/ugly I am because my picture is right there. Despite that, Master was intrigued by my intellect and wit, and we met in person and really hit it off. We still call that long weekend our 'First Date'.
11/27/2011
Pixel Pixel
Quote:
Originally posted by Antipova
To be totally honest, I really like dating. Fun little opportunities to find out how a new person ticks.. you can watch them on their best behavior, ask questions about their jobs... I have learned *so many* interesting things from interesting people ... More
*applauds* Well said!

I like as dating well. It can be a blast to go to various fun places with new people while you find out if they're a good match for you.
11/27/2011
idunshire idunshire
I love dating! I think it's fun and exciting and love getting the feeling of butterflies in my stomach with new people ^_^
11/27/2011
P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by Lavender420
I've been with my boyfriend for about 3 years, and things just aren't working out. When I do start dating, I don't want it to be like the way they portray dating in the movies - but I've even heard horror stories from my friends. Is ... More
Nothing is the way it is in the movies.

Why would it be any different than how it was three years ago? People don't change that much.... unless they watch too many "Romantic Comedies" and expect real life to be this way.... and it is not.
11/27/2011
sktb0007 sktb0007
Quote:
Originally posted by Antipova
To be totally honest, I really like dating. Fun little opportunities to find out how a new person ticks.. you can watch them on their best behavior, ask questions about their jobs... I have learned *so many* interesting things from interesting people ... More
Same here. It's fun, new, and exciting.

Sure there may be some "bad" moments, but overall it's good.
11/27/2011
El-Jaro El-Jaro
Quote:
Originally posted by CoffeeCup
I like dating, too. I think it's fun for it's own sake.

I imagine it could be tedious if you don't actual enjoy the process of meeting new people and only view dating as a means to the ends of finding a new serious BF.

I ... More
I think you nailed it!

I've had girlfriends, but have only went on a few dates. Honestly, I hate it. I can't help but think "If this turns bust, I just wasted my time."

I've never really been comfortable with dating. It just seems too hit or miss for me.
11/27/2011
switzerland switzerland
it might be tedious, but if you find the right person - in the end, it will all be worth it! it's all about the experience - learning about yourself, who you are and what you want. you deserve happiness. if you aren't happy with your man after three years, it's time to move on, don't let the fear of dating stop you!
11/27/2011
kinky girlfriend kinky girlfriend
Quote:
Originally posted by Antipova
To be totally honest, I really like dating. Fun little opportunities to find out how a new person ticks.. you can watch them on their best behavior, ask questions about their jobs... I have learned *so many* interesting things from interesting people ... More
yea there's this guy at work whose been there a few weeks I'm taken however if I wasnt I would go on a date with him. I already know he likes me he is blunt about it lol but he is respectful and doesnt bother me much he knows I have a boyfriend.

Speaking of work in a relationship....I appreciate my man. He is patient and all he wants from me is to change my way of living and do good for myself....my room is a disaster we can't have sex until I clean it...which will be a slow long process because my irritable bowel is hell on me like right now I want to get up and cook some meat and eat but I dont want to move! He was really disgusted and turned off last night. I appreciate he didn'tyhell at me but instead brings up the hard good points. He has been with me 4 years and I have gotten worse over the years but it seems he is willing to hold on a little longer but not much which means by the end of next wee I probly should have alot done in the house.
11/27/2011
Rawhide Rawhide
Dating is what you make of it- I would suggest going into it with the expectation that you're going to enjoy the experience and get to know someone else and probably a bit more about yourself as well. If you are constantly searching for "the one" then it's going to get frustrating really fast.
11/27/2011
poetprincess poetprincess
Quote:
Originally posted by Lavender420
I've been with my boyfriend for about 3 years, and things just aren't working out. When I do start dating, I don't want it to be like the way they portray dating in the movies - but I've even heard horror stories from my friends. Is ... More
Dating can be fun or it can drive you nuts it all depends on your outlook of it and how you perceive yourself in the future. One thing I learned is do not have sex with a guy in the first couple months. Then the whole relationship ends up being about sex and you get bored really fast..
11/28/2011
Ms. Spice Ms. Spice
well, i'm sure dating will be the same as it was three years ago? It depends on how you look at it. I never like to look at my previous dates as a "waste of time" because I feel like everyone I meet can teach me something; if I don't learn something from them, then I learn something about myself, like what turns me off/ on, what characteristics I love/ tolerate/ etc.

Don't expect dating to go like the movies. I had that expectation for like a year, and then I realized 'this is real life, not written by some Hollywood writer.' so of course, I've superb and miserable experiences.

And since sex is such a big deal, try to plan when you want to have it with someone. I'm the type of person that can have sex on the first or second date and still have a lasting relationship with a person; you may or may not function this way.
11/28/2011
aliceinthehole aliceinthehole
y'know, i myself have recently been wondering.. WTF is up with human beans supposedly being 'social animals?'
if so, then why are relationships SO FUCKING HARD?

i mean. i have a hard time getting along with alot of people, at least on all levels, or even most. quite a few people i tolerate because i have to due to work settings, or just avoid because i can. maybe i'm anti-social. but i still think we're not that sociable of animals. its too hard.

i know when i started dating again i was dreading the whole tedious 'getting to know eachother' period.


but when you meet someone you click with, it just comes naturally. you wont even realize you're building up your relationship via sharing secrets and exposing your inner self as you would to a good friend. you'll just do it.

good luck with the end of the current. three years! fuck sake. that is SO hard to leave. or at least it was for me in the same 3 yr relationship boat.

chin up!
11/28/2011
SugarLips SugarLips
I just got out of a long relationship where it was not my choice to end things. After a few weeks of feeling sorry for myself, crying nonstop, and eating everything in sight I decided maybe it was time to start looking. I'm very intimidated by dating now...it's been almost 11 years and I feel so inept and self conscious. I signed up for a dating site and I'm discouraged by the amount of emails I get that are just soliciting one night stands. I began to cry yesterday just thinking about trying to find someone new and actually click with them the way I did with my ex.

That being said...

I'm trying very hard to turn this into a positive. My ex is much older than me and likely did not want to have kids. He is also currently living overseas and that made things just way too hard. I think I just need to get some self confidence and make good things happen for myself.

I think dating can be scary and overwhelming and plain not fun. But maybe this is going to get better as I go along. When I went on my first date after the break up I just remember feeling proud of myself and thinking "this is it, I'm actually doing it". It felt good to take that small step.

I wish you luck and I hope you find what you're looking for.
11/30/2011
CadmiumKitty CadmiumKitty
i personally find dating to be a pain
05/21/2012
gsfanatic gsfanatic
Depends a lot on who you're dating. It can be a lot of fun, but if you don't have good chemistry, it can be painful for everyone. Given my dating experience, and from what I've seen around me, find someone who makes you happy, and just enjoy it.
05/22/2012
Total posts: 22
Unique posters: 22