Originally posted by
I totally agree with pasdechat. It definitely seems like your partner is harboring an unhealthy attitude. Often, in our society, it seems as though the expectation is for partners to have some kind of possession of one another's sexualities
I totally agree with pasdechat. It definitely seems like your partner is harboring an unhealthy attitude. Often, in our society, it seems as though the expectation is for partners to have some kind of possession of one another's sexualities (possession may be too strong a word) - as if all sexual energies should be spent on each other rather than on a person's own self. Maybe he's reflecting this expectation...? Either way, he doesn't necessarily have a say regarding whether or not you masturbate, and I think it's important to continue to communicate that his attitude makes you very uncomfortable.
Excellent response! I agree 100%. (And I don't think "possession" is a word too strong, I think it's just right in many situations.)
Often younger or less secure men feel "threatened" when they find out their partner masturbates. Everybody masturbates
. Some more than others. Being able to take charge of your sexuality and please yourself on occasion is a wonderful thing and should be celebrated, not condemned.
My Man finds it fascinating how I please myself, and on the occasion I tell him I have done so, he is always very happy, and often very turned on.
I know My Man does, not only does he tell me sometimes, but once in a while, while I'm sleeping, I hear that tell tale "twap twap twap twap" and I either just leave him alone to finish, or ask him if he wants a hand. If he wants to finish alone, that's OK with me. (As long as I've been pleased sexually by him recently.) Masturbation is simply a normal thing that people and most animals engage in.
I find it hard to believe the OP's partner doesn't masturbate, although he may not want to admit it. (A wise man once said, "98% of men say they masturbate, the other 2% are liars.")
Britanny, you have a right to please yourself. If it isn't interfering with your sex life with a partner, there is no reason to doubt that it is good for you. You may want to gather some research which shows that virtually all people please themselves, woman just as much as men.