Friends Girlfriend overly jealous over an innocent comment

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Friends Girlfriend overly jealous over an innocent comment

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Contributor: Misfit Momma Misfit Momma
Not sure if this classifies as being dating related, but I wasn't sure where else to put it.

I made friends with this guy at work, which is honestly pretty rare for me so it's a nice change. I added him to my Facebook a few weeks ago and noticed that he posts sweet loving things about his girlfriend as his status. I commented "Geeks are so mushy! I'm jealous, heh"

I meant this an an innocent, funny comment.

He told me at work this past weekend that when she saw it she got very angry and wanted him to delete me because of it!

I didn't get a chance to fully share my thoughts on it with him and won't see him again until next weekend, but maybe you guys can help me out if I'm the one in the wrong?

I'm used to swinging and flirting (Which he does not know about me) so I do at times make comments that are inappropriate to some couples but I really didn't think this was bad nor did I intend it to be.

He has only been dating her for a few months and has already asked her to marry him, but I want to tell him to wait, especially if she is already telling him who he can be friends with. Am I wrong?
01/24/2011
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Contributor: PussyGalore PussyGalore
I don't think it's your place to tell him who or when to marry without being prompted to do so by him in an intimate "hey what do you think about what I'm doing" kind of way.


Granted, her reaction was immature and probably telling of her insecurity issues but I think I might be subconsciously insecure in a relationship with someone who waited mere months to ask for my hand in marriage. Along the lines of, well how many times has he done this before without actually making it to the altar. (I'm old fashioned.) There have been some whirl-wind romances that have flourished and are still going strong to this day.


If he chooses to delete you from facebook, that is ultimately his choice of statement he wishes to make to his partner and maybe it will open up ideas of how he really feels about her. My best advice to you is do not ever offer unsolicited advice when it comes to matters of the heart. I don't think you would want anyone to do that to you short of intervening in an abusive situation.

I do think your comment was flirty and it was borderline inappropriate in a way that it somewhat expressed a desire to be with someone like him or him in specific. She doesn't know you. You don't know her. You don't know the issues they have in their relationship.

In the end, this is between the two of them and your input is likley unwelcome if it's anything other than "it hurts my feelings that we can't be facebook friends but I understand". You will no doubt leave him in a position to choose. It's just not fair.
01/24/2011
Contributor: Illusional Illusional
I don't really see your comment as flirting.
You didn't say anything like "Lucky girl, or How come all the good guys are gone?"

She's just immature and insecure.
Let it blow over. If he wants a controlling bitch in his life, let it happen.

I've let a few good male friends end up in shitty relationships and marry the bitch.
It's not my place.

Hopefully he's not too stupid like mine were.
01/24/2011
Contributor: Misfit Momma Misfit Momma
Good points!

He did not delete me, and said he told her that he wouldn't either but it really wouldn't be a big deal to me if he did - other than the fact that I know from experience that if he allowed her that control now, it will only get worse.

I suppose I won't say anything else unless he asks. It really does work in my favor when I know both partners in the couple and they both understand my sense of humor!

Most of my friends are either swinging couples or singles who we have played with so I'm not used to having a "vanilla friend"!
01/24/2011
Contributor: Alan & Michele Alan & Michele
I don't think that what you said was out of line, and it didn't even sound like a flirt to me. Her reaction was really ridiculous... sounds like one of those creepy over-possessive girls. But I have to agree with the others that you shouldn't give your opinion on his potential marriage unless he specifically asks for it. Good intentions can really backfire in situations like that.
01/25/2011
Contributor: Emma (Girl With Fire) Emma (Girl With Fire)
Quote:
Originally posted by Misfit Momma
Good points!

He did not delete me, and said he told her that he wouldn't either but it really wouldn't be a big deal to me if he did - other than the fact that I know from experience that if he allowed her that control now, it will ... more
It had nothing to do with your sense of humor or anything flirty. I have a feeling that if he was cool with telling her he wouldn't delete you as a friend over that, he probably wont stick it out with her. She is more than likely going to have WAAAAAYYYY bigger issues to deal with on a regular basis that she will go totally apeshit over. Self confidence wise, she really doesn't sound like she should be focusing her attention anywhere but herself right now.
01/25/2011