Have you ever had a partner who actually checked your body for signs of cheating i.e. hickeys?

Contributor: Peggi Peggi
My boyfriend has been cheated on in the past and in the beginning, he did this, sometimes I'm convinced he still does, but a bit more discreetly, if I've stayed home from work late, etc., I don't mind, I know he has been hurt, and I have nothing to hide Besides, easy way to find out, look me in the eye and ask as he has discovered I am the worst liar on the face of the planet...I couldn't even lie when he asked about his birthday gift lol
08/31/2011
Contributor: Sir Sir
Never had someone do this to me, but I've done it to parters. And of course, I always found things.
08/31/2011
Contributor: The Curious Couple The Curious Couple
I've never had this done to me.
08/31/2011
Contributor: married with children married with children
nope, that would be on insecure relationship if they felt they needed to check for cheating.
09/01/2011
Contributor: Breas Breas
Quote:
Originally posted by Peggi
My boyfriend has been cheated on in the past and in the beginning, he did this, sometimes I'm convinced he still does, but a bit more discreetly, if I've stayed home from work late, etc., I don't mind, I know he has been hurt, and I have ... more
Oh lord, I am with you on being the "worst liar".. I used to when I was a teenager (to my parents and such) and it was so obvious when I lied. I don't do it anymore because its just pointless (and wrong)lol
09/01/2011
Contributor: Jul!a Jul!a
I have an ex who might have if he had gotten the chance, but to me it's a huge invasion of privacy when our relationship is supposed to be built on trust. That relationship didn't have much apparently. I'd be extremely insulted and angry if my husband tried this with me rather than trying to talk about any fears he may have had.
09/01/2011
Contributor: Rossie Rossie
We trust each other, and we do not cheat on each other, we never check on each other for signs of cheating.
09/01/2011
Contributor: guard083 guard083
I have never had that and I think its strange
09/01/2011
Contributor: Princess-Kayla ♥ Princess-Kayla ♥
That's pretty extreme. I wouldn't do it. And I'd be pretty pissed if anyone did it to me.
Especially if you said they've been in a relationship for six years.
09/01/2011
Contributor: Lucky21 Lucky21
If it would happen, I would definitely have a conversation with her about it, but I wouldn't say no.
09/01/2011
Contributor: Nora Nora
If he's looking, I would wager he's left a mark on someone else and is feeling guilty about it.

As for myself, we are pretty open, so no "cheating" is going on..so, nope haven't ever (or will ever be) "checked" for marks!
09/01/2011
Contributor: CoffeeCup CoffeeCup
I find the lack of trust implied by such actions to be disgusting.
09/03/2011
Contributor: K101 K101
Quote:
Originally posted by froggiemoma
Never happened to me before, i think it might make me a little angry and hurt my feelings a little but if he needed to for his own piece of mind would let him.
Yea, I agree. I wouldn't mind if he really did have a bad feeling and suspected something like say if someone had told him I'd been cheating and he was curious, but when I posted this I didn't mention that the people I know who have this go on is very often and he actually forced her down on my bed right in front of me and checked her! He holds her down and it almost got me angry to see him holding her down while she said stop and take her clothing off. Thankfully she stopped him quickly, but when they weren't split up she used to tell me about him doing it all the time! Now in that case, I'd flip! I have serious problems with being forced down and stripped. I mean, unless we're doing it for fun, but when it's serious it'll make me crazy.
09/03/2011
Contributor: K101 K101
Quote:
Originally posted by sexyintexas
I got married when I was 15. My first husband used to want to check my panties when I came in. I divorced him at 18. I would never put up with that now. If you don't trust me then why are you with me?
Oh my. Bless your heart. I imagine that was highly upsetting to go through. Right, when there's no trust ever no matter how good the person has been, the relationship cannot be a healthy one. Sometimes I have weird freak spells where I've just been overly stressed and exhausted and sick like lately, I will be kind of weird about things and when my partner does something sometimes it'll register as him not caring and with being sick and exhausted and stressed on top of it I might get a tiny bit paranoid and think what if he's cheating! Lol. That happened the other day because I had all that going on and being sick and I had read about men cheating and how they'll ALWAYS do it and I just let myself freak out. Lol. It never gets serious though. Later he told me he loved me and only me and I said "Really! You promise, right?" Lol. We've always trusted each other though so when I actually got some rest things were different and I didn't feel so low anymore. Those small things, I understand, but I am not comfortable being held down and stripped, especially on more than one occasion. I'd flip! I haven't ever had it happen, but once he left a hickey on my behind and later saw it and said "OMG! You have a hickey!" I was like uh, you DID it! Ha Ha. He said "Oh yea."

Bottom line I couldn't be with someone I didn't trust. It would have to be miserable.
09/03/2011
Contributor: K101 K101
Quote:
Originally posted by Antipova
Wow... I've never been in a situation even close to that trustless. As sexyintexas says, "If you don't trust me, why are you with me?"

I don't want to judge other people---maybe if there has been some infidelity in the ... more
Yes, that's true. It would be easy to become suspicious so often when you've been cheated on before. That's one reason I could not stay with a partner who cheated. Even if for some crazy reason I wanted to stay with a person who cheated, I would NEVER be able to put that behind me. I would feel so bad about myself that I would be paranoid of him doing it again. Its simply just not worth it to stay or to cheat, but then again if you really consider cheating then it's probably not best to stay with the person. I think for some people (including the one I know who was doing this frequently to his partner) there's just no satisfying them. No matter what they are not going to be able to believe the person is innocent. That same day he checked her he also questioned her about her seat in the car being laid back and a piece of silver wrapping from a pack of smokes he insisted was a condom wrapper! I couldn't go through that if I was innocent.
09/03/2011
Contributor: K101 K101
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
I've never been in a relationship with a man like that. I would move on if a man acted that immature.

Even if there was "reason" to be distrustful, there are better ways to handle it than treat her like a showdog.
Very well said
09/03/2011
Contributor: K101 K101
Quote:
Originally posted by Sunshineamine
My ex husband turned out to be a little crazy and if I had a bruise or something he automatically began to think and accuse me of it being from having sex with another guy. CRAZY. That's why he is an ex. Turns out he was cheating on me the ... more
Oh my goodness! How awful! The whole 'the guilty dog barks first' thing can be true sometimes. I've noticed some people who cheat become overly suspicious that their parnter is cheating too and it can turn into paranoia! I guess they think if they are cheating then their partner MUST be doing it too. Or maybe it's the guilt getting to them and they start thinking it. I'm glad you moved on from that though. That takes a very strong person.
09/03/2011
Contributor: K101 K101
Quote:
Originally posted by ToyGurl
I had a boyfriend a long time ago, before I was dating my husband, who was very controlling. He constantly checked to see if I was cheating in several ways. He checked through the contact list on my phone to see if I was calling any other man. He ... more
Wow! That does sound awful! I'd probably have gone insane! I too have anemia so I totally know what you mean about bruises like that. I used to use male's deo in the past because a specific brand smelled so good so you're right those things are not sure signs of cheating. I guess we all have gotten a bit suspicious at some point, maybe not to the point of follwing our partners or checking up on them, but I think a time or two of the thought 'could he be cheating?' isn't totally uncommon. I've wondered if my partner cheated before mostly because he's the only man who ever treated me like an actual person so at first I was suspicious of a lot of things. When he done things for me it felt un-normal to me. I didn't know of anything but nasty treatment. It did take time getting used to and now I know for sure he wouldn't ever cheat. Still we all have wondered at some point in time I think, even if it's simply from reading something in a magazine that causes a bit of curiousity.
09/03/2011
Contributor: K101 K101
Quote:
Originally posted by Naughty Student
That is a sign of abuse to me. If your partner is checking your body, what doesn't say he isn't following you around or obsessively checking your phone.e-mail, etc.

That is extreme, I would never stay with someone so jealous and ... more
You're right. It is absolutely a sign of abuse and thing is, it's happened before in this particular case.
09/03/2011
Contributor: K101 K101
Quote:
Originally posted by Starkiller87
Id leave immediately and not look back. Why would you be with someone who you didn't trust. I'm at that age where I'm not in relationships just for fun but Im also trying to find my companion to settle down. So I wouldn't stay with an ... more
Right. Good thing is the person did leave him that same day!
09/03/2011
Contributor: K101 K101
Quote:
Originally posted by Breas
No I've never had that done to me.. but my last boyfriend was always accusing me of cheating and I was 100% faithful. He had a LOT of insecurity issues and it eventually got so unbearable... Anytime I left his place he would assume I was going to ... more
Wow! So glad you got out of that relationship. I can understand reassuring a person that you do love them from time to time. I mean everyone gets insecure and I certainly ain't one to talk about someone who has some insecurities, but there's a fine line between needing a bit of reassurance and holding someone down to check them. I don't blame you for leaving in that one and it's probably for the best.
09/03/2011
Contributor: K101 K101
Quote:
Originally posted by GravyCakes
if my bf started checking me for signs of cheating, i would start to wonder if he wasn't cheating himself & just hoping to catch me at it 1st or something to make himself feel better about what he was doing. lucky for me, my bf values his life, lol.
Lol great answer. I don't carry pepper spray around for no reason! Ha Ha. Lol JK.
09/03/2011
Contributor: systematicweasel systematicweasel
that's a little odd lol
09/03/2011
Contributor: Badass Badass
me and my partner do it covertly thought. lol
02/14/2012
Contributor: Rin (aka Nire) Rin (aka Nire)
If I had a guy and he started up with that, I'd let him check once. Afterwards, I'd get an explanation as to why he felt the need. If I felt his reasons were valid, I'd reassure him but also let him know that the suspicion hurt my feelings quite a bit and that we probably have some things to work on if he felt he couldn't trust me, or else it's not going to work out. If I felt his reasons were poor, I'd drop him like a rock.
02/16/2012
Contributor: mistressg mistressg
No, I haven't. Also, I'm going to add that that sounds controlling and like the beginnings of abuse.
10/21/2012
Contributor: Bignuf Bignuf
Quote:
Originally posted by K101
OK. I wanted to ask this question right now as I know someone who does do this to his girlfriend of 6 years and I just wanted to know what you guys think about it. Is it OK? Is it wrong? Has it ever happened to you? Would you be angry?

Thanks ... more
What a lack of trust that would show!
10/21/2012
Contributor: novanilla novanilla
That is way too possessive for me!
10/21/2012
Contributor: EdenUser EdenUser
Nope and too paranoid for me.
10/21/2012
Contributor: MissCandyland MissCandyland
I have never been with someone who did that to me.
10/22/2012