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I find that I prefer to be honest and upfront about my beliefs and things I feel strongly about (gender relations, views on marriage/abortion/chil dren, family involvement, etc) with potential partners rather than playing coy the first few dates.
I find that I prefer to be honest and upfront about my beliefs and things I feel strongly about (gender relations, views on marriage/abortion/chil dren, family involvement, etc) with potential partners rather than playing coy the first few dates. See, I hate to waste time and I wouldn't want to deal with a huge conflict of interest just because I was too scared to be clear about my expectations and beliefs. What do you prefer?
Honestly, I'm not going to go on a date and go on a rant about how I feel about gender issues, women's rights, abortions, whether I want children or not (Way One on how to lose a man; talk about having kids on the first few dates) etc.
I like things to develop naturally. There is no reason to "express my opinions" about everything right away. Dating is (was, as I am married) about more than how I feel about things, or trying to get my "expectations&quo t; fulfilled. Dating isn't just about what I
want or how I feel about things. Most people are uncomfortable being confronted with controversial subjects when they really just want to get to know someone's personality and have fun.
My Man and my relationship developed organically. Things were dealt with as they came about. The only thing we discussed before hand, that I can remember is what would happen if I got pregnant. (We agreed on what to do.) Later, MUCH later, when we were pretty sure we were going to stay together forever and the Open Relationship phase was over, we talked about having kids etc.
Really, I think dating should be FUN in the first few months. Why spoil it with detailed discussions or worse, lectures about controversial subjects?
I'd save these things for when the relationship becomes serious, and then they should come up by themselves. Nobody likes to be confronted with "expectations" in the early phases of a relationship. Really.