How do you deal with long distance relationships?

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How do you deal with long distance relationships?

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Contributor: Jul!a Jul!a
My last few boyfriends were all sort of long distance relationships. Neither more than an hour away, but still only really saw each other on the weekends. The first one we didn't fight much, but instead just grew apart. My last one was only an hour away, and we constantly fought. Mostly about sex but also about other things like he didn't think I contributed enough financially to our relationship as far as buying food and other things of that nature, even though I drove out there at least once a week. But it was fighting about the sex that drove me away the most, I don't appreciate being told that it's not fair to anybody that I'm just not in the mood. And I would have a lot of problems getting in the mood partially because he was always asking for it, but mostly because I had gotten so used to being by myself most of the time that I didn't want to do anything when I did see him.

I know there are a lot of you where either you, or they, are away at school, or travel a lot, or whatever, but you maintain a mostly long distance relationship. How do you deal with the space? Does sex become an issue when you do get a chance to see each other? Do you find that the distance affects your communication with each other?
04/19/2010
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Contributor: Envy Envy
It's all based upon communication. My bf lives in AL, while I'm in CA. We dated online for 2 years before even seeing each other for the first time. Now next month it'll have been a year since I've seen him, with no idea how long it'll be before we see each other again.

It all depends on the people involved. We try to talk everyday, and lately I've been buying him toys and he loves it. He'd buy me some, too, but he has a an extremely nosy mother, plus he's a poor college student lol. (I graduated college and am older than him by about 4 years.) But it's nice to have his input on things I buy, and he's excited to be together someday to use the toys on me, so yeah. ^^;

It's not without it's problems for sure. Plan things only to have them backfire, etc. But as I said, it depends on the people involved if it's worth going for or not.
04/20/2010
Contributor: El-Jaro El-Jaro
It sucks, no doubt about it. Right now there's about 120 miles or so (about 2 1/2 hr one way) between us. Neither one of us has a car. We only see each other every few weeks.

We do talk online almost every day, sometimes just to say "hi" and "I miss you!". We don't really fight about much (except misunderstandings), and that's rare.

That'll be changing VERY soon. In 13 days I'll be moving down to be just about 4 miles away.

When it comes to LDR's, I think the most important things are honesty and communication. Without one or the other, it just won't work and you're wasting time.
04/20/2010
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
(EF Review Program Mentor)
They suck hardcore but we use skype and talk almost everyday. It helps but it doesn't ease the pain of being a country away.
04/22/2010
Contributor: VampKitty VampKitty
I'm in NC(for school) but my home in is Fl. My boyfriend lives in CA. We have been talking for almost 3 years now. Dating for 1. We talk every night and every morning, and text during the day. I'll be seeing him in person for the first time in about 2 months(if plans go right). He is very respectable and lets me decide when it's okay to talk about certain topics.

Being understanding, trusting, and talking often are the most important things when it comes to a long distance relationship.
08/25/2010
Contributor: DeliciousSurprise DeliciousSurprise
I'm in NY, my partner is located in MN. We try to make the most of it, stay in communication during the day and Skype at night.

When we're together, we don't do much else besides eat, sleep, and enjoy each others company (with brief interludes of shopping or site-seeing). Sex isn't so much of an issue, except when we want to orgasm together and her housemates are still awake, or I'm tired or generally not in the mood. When we're together, we don't have any issues because we understand that sometimes you're not in the mood or just need a break, and we can talk and be open about it.

We don't get to see each other nearly often enough; I'm unemployed and she's got a mortgage and car payments and a life out in Minnesota, but at least seeing each other every night on webcam makes it a little better.
08/25/2010
Contributor: Harlequin Harlequin
i know this is going to sound crazy but when my husband and i first started dating, we had a long distance relationship for SIX years due to circumstances.. but we made it work and we really loved eachother enough to endure a LDR for that long. if you really love someone youll make it work no matter what!
12/09/2010
Contributor: Kiwi Kiwi
personally, I suck at long distance relationships and for that reason, I think long distance relationships suck in general, but I do understand that there are people who are good at them. Both times I've been in a long distance, I've been cheated on. (this may color my view,lol) In addition to that, I am a pretty self-sufficient girl, so even in a relationship, I have a tendency not to develop extreme attachment (I'm not a 'my world would end if you left' person). When there's distance involved, romance dies and it just becomes a friendship unless you happen to have access to skype or videochat (which I didn't when I was in West Africa for six months). Skype sex is not the best, but I think it can keep something going until you see eachother. Maybe I'm just a really physical person. Anyway, in conclusion, I think some people can do really well and be happy in long distance relationships while others cheat and/or are miserable. You just have to figure out which type you are
12/16/2010
Contributor: RemusHalifax RemusHalifax
My boyfriend and I see each other, on average, once every two weeks. It's really difficult for me and I know he gets lonely sometimes, but it's kind of a strain, especially after dating in high school and seeing each other several times a day. The best I can do is talk to him on the phone at least once a day and satisfy myself with masturbation and phone sex.
I don't know how to offer any advice other than: if you're really meant to be together, you'll find a way to make it work. I'm willing to wait to be able to finally move in with him, even though I know it'll be at least a couple of years. Seeing as we're going to schools on opposite side of the state, there's no way we can do it now.
12/16/2010