How to get your boyfriend to be more dominant?

Sissy Sissy
Sissy
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My boyfriend is ridiculously shy. We have sex and have done quite a bit together, but it's usually me who has to take charge, even though I really want to be the one being dominated..
I'm not sure what to do/say to get him to take charge... :/
07/02/2012
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Kindred Kindred
Quote:
Originally posted by Sissy
My boyfriend is ridiculously shy. We have sex and have done quite a bit together, but it's usually me who has to take charge, even though I really want to be the one being dominated..
I'm not sure what to do/say to get him to take charge... :/
If he's shy, he may be more naturally submissive so it may be difficult to change his behavior. You should definitely talk to him about it and discuss your desires. Perhaps if you both prefer to be dominated, you could take turns so that both are satisfied.
07/02/2012
Geogeo Geogeo
Sometimes it's just innate, you can't make him dominant if it's really not his personality and makes him uncomfortable. But I feel your pain.
07/02/2012
gsfanatic gsfanatic
Making him feel comfortable can help, as could talking out what you want. It could be he's had a lot of bad information/negative feelings about sex, and that's what's holding him back. If he's just shy about sex, then that might just fade over time with comfort.
07/03/2012
thisisadeletedaccount thisisadeletedaccount
Giving him some direct guidelines to work with might help - if you request something really specific sexually that would put him in a more dominant position and are really vocal about how much you'd enjoy that, he doesn't have to try and improvise in a situation he doesn't naturally gravitate to and your positive attitude and reassurance will help keep him from worrying that he's being mean or inconsiderate in any way by being dominant.

You can also just straight up say, "I'd like to try some new things in bed, particularly with you in a more dominant role. Can we talk about ways you might be comfortable doing that?" It's usually best to just talk about these things.
07/08/2012
Bodhi Bodhi
You need to be direct. Expecting someone to just 'naturally' dominate you doesn't really work.

Anyone who knows anything about BDSM knows it's always the submissive who is really in control.
07/12/2012
nova2014 nova2014
It's embarrassing but you just have to tell him, be open about it and don't skirt the topic or he won't understand it
12/07/2012
Total posts: 7
Unique posters: 7