How truthful should you be in a dating relationship?

sexyintexas sexyintexas
I am newly single and I am talking to a couple of different guys. How much information should you divulge when you are just dating? I know once a relationship moves to the next level I believe in being honest but in the beggining? Hmmmm...I just dont know....
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
Total disclosure
20
Just what they need to know
75
Just what I want them to know
10
Nothing...lie about it all
Total votes: 105 (94 voters)
Poll is closed
03/04/2011
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Shellz31 Shellz31
I only tell them what I feel they need to know ... which is usually nothing too personal. But I'm more closed off than most.
03/04/2011
toxie m toxie m
I always went case-by-case for dating. Just what they need to know is a safe starting baseline. Guys I felt more of a connection with got more info (even right at the start), and once things got more serious with a lad we moved towards full disclosure.

It should go both ways though, of course. If you aren't hearing anything important about them, don't feel the need to be the one doing all the opening up.
03/04/2011
LavenderSkies LavenderSkies
Quote:
Originally posted by Shellz31
I only tell them what I feel they need to know ... which is usually nothing too personal. But I'm more closed off than most.
Same here.
03/05/2011
MrRainybowbow MrRainybowbow
It depends on how comfortable you are with shareing and if they want to know certain things really. If they dont care and you dont feel like shareing then dont tell =p
03/05/2011
PiratePrincess PiratePrincess
I always start with just what they need to know. Although I have a habit of telling people everything anyway, so it doesn't always work.
03/05/2011
liilii080 liilii080
You don't have to tell them everything but tell them what they need to know. You don't want to start building a relationship and then have them find something out later where they feel you were being dishonest or not disclosing something important. If they can't handle what they need to know, they can walk. But, you would also expect them to disclose what you needed to know too. It's a 2 way street.
03/05/2011
markeagleone markeagleone
Quote:
Originally posted by sexyintexas
I am newly single and I am talking to a couple of different guys. How much information should you divulge when you are just dating? I know once a relationship moves to the next level I believe in being honest but in the beggining? Hmmmm...I just dont ... More
I cannot vote on this,because I believe it depends on how long the relationship has been going on and how it has progressed. That is different for most people and their walks of life.The next step from dating is a commited relationship, and I do think you should be open and your partner open, before that step.
03/05/2011
Stephanie Marie Stephanie Marie
Quote:
Originally posted by liilii080
You don't have to tell them everything but tell them what they need to know. You don't want to start building a relationship and then have them find something out later where they feel you were being dishonest or not disclosing something ... More
Agreed!
03/05/2011
indiglo indiglo
Quote:
Originally posted by liilii080
You don't have to tell them everything but tell them what they need to know. You don't want to start building a relationship and then have them find something out later where they feel you were being dishonest or not disclosing something ... More
Totally agree!
03/05/2011
Red Vinyl Kitty Red Vinyl Kitty
I always answer honestly, so if they ask, I'll tell them. In the beginning though, I don't share all, just what I think they need to know.
03/06/2011
sexyintexas sexyintexas
Thanks, I have'nt lied at all to anyone. I won't do that. I just don't think that it is at the point yet where I should put all my eggs in one basket and count on it to work out. Need more time to figure it out, but everyone is aware that it's not commited yet.
03/06/2011
P'Gell P'Gell
It depends on what they want to know. If some guys asks on the first date, "So, how many guys have you had sex with?" or, "Do you give head?" I'm NOT going to tell him. I wouldn't lie, it's just not his business. A LOT of things aren't a casual date's business. I'm not going to say, "Ya know, I like getting tied up."or "How much money do you make?" on a first date. It just unseemly. And again, not business that needs to be shared right away. If I like him, he'll find these things out when I think he needs to know.

I think, early in a relationship, be honest about what applies to the relationship at that moment. NO ONE needs to know everything about you.

Even to this day, decades into our relationship, I don't know exactly how man women My Man has been with. You know what? It just doesn't matter.
03/06/2011
loveshocks loveshocks
When you're just starting to date, most things are on a need-to-know basis. I mean, once you progress further, obviously they should get to know more about you. I'd hate to be in a relationship and find out a year or two in and be told that some of the things that I've been told had been flat out lies. There's got to be trust in a relationship in order to work.
03/12/2011
KennyMister KennyMister
Everything
04/09/2011
froggiemoma froggiemoma
Quote:
Originally posted by LavenderSkies
Same here.
ditto
04/09/2011
padmeamidala padmeamidala
Quote:
Originally posted by sexyintexas
I am newly single and I am talking to a couple of different guys. How much information should you divulge when you are just dating? I know once a relationship moves to the next level I believe in being honest but in the beggining? Hmmmm...I just dont ... More
I tell them what they need to know. Eventually I might tell them more later.
04/09/2011
Ansley Ansley
I believe in full disclosure if the subject comes up.
04/09/2011
barrettbn2 barrettbn2
I only share what they need to know
04/10/2011
neon neon
only what is really important
04/14/2011
tickle me pink tickle me pink
In the beginning, I say only what they need to know. As the relationship progresses you should tell them more and more, of course.
04/14/2011
sexyintexas sexyintexas
Quote:
Originally posted by sexyintexas
I am newly single and I am talking to a couple of different guys. How much information should you divulge when you are just dating? I know once a relationship moves to the next level I believe in being honest but in the beggining? Hmmmm...I just dont ... More
I feel like you should let them know the important aspects of who you are. If it progresses then tell them more.
04/14/2011
ac0313 ac0313
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley
I believe in full disclosure if the subject comes up.
Agree. For a long time, I believed in need to know or what I want them to know, however, my feelings have changed. In my prior relationship, I had many secrets. In my current, we have no secrets and have been completely honest and open...we really have to though since we are in an open relationship. However, when we first started seeing each other, before really starting a relationship, we agreed to be honest - if a question was asked, the truth would be told...maybe not all the truth initially, but that would follow at a later date still. This has worked amazingly well for us and we trust each other completely...something neither of us has ever experienced before.
05/05/2011
AAAToyGirl AAAToyGirl
Just what they need to know, until you trust them... No reason to let yourself get burned. At the same time, be careful not to hurt a possible great relationship by being too closed off.

I was completely honest with my now husband, and I'm very happy with how it ended up. There were some things he wasn't honest with me about that have hurt our relationship, but we have been working past those things. Hopefully it'll all be ok in the end.
05/05/2011
Judas Iscars Judas Iscars
Just what they need to know.
05/05/2011
Cedarlooman Cedarlooman
When you are first dating, it is a need to know basis. You don't want to share anything too private until you know this person is someone you want to have a bigger relationship with. Once you are committed, then you need and should be more open. I believe in open communication and sharing, but I also believe that some things can and maybe should remain private. For example, I read erotic lit and have actually started writing it. I haven't told my wife because I don't know how I feel about that because she would want to read it, and I don't want that. I wouldn't want her to be bugging me about when the next story is going to come out or wanting to read what I have written because that would put more pressure on me to write it. But then part of me does because then I could probably get more time to write more. I also don't tell her every time I watch porn or masturbate, either. It doesn't affect our relationship and really, I don't think she would want to know that.
05/05/2011
maebey maebey
I don't believe in relationships, friendship, romantic or otherwise that aren't based completely in truth.
05/05/2011
kendra30752 kendra30752
Only what you are comfortable disclosing! I wouldn't tell a lie though, because you might want to get serious with the person at some point and it would be hard to have that on your conscience and it'd be hard to tell them after so long because it could change everything and then a relationship that's somewhat new may not have a very sturdy foundation. I just think if somethign comes up that you really don't want them to know or you're afraid they would think less of you then avoid answering and when they get to know you, then you can choose to tell them. If they do think less of you after knowin you then they aren't worth it. I wouldn't hold anyone's past against them, unless they had raped someone or murder or something serious. Hopefully, you'll be able to avoid it and then tell or don't tell.

If it has to do with the number of sex partners and you're not comfortable telling, then don't. I know men can think badly of you right away if the number's over 4! But, hopefully the guy you choose isn't that shallow. Luck to you!
05/11/2011
Sir Sir
Not telling someone something about yourself isn't lying. So that does not equate to truthfulness. However, if they ask and you lie, then it is, of course, lying.

Me personally, I get it all out on the table from the get-go. This is probably why I have scared away so many people and why I am still single and only have a play partner. HAHA!!!
08/29/2011
amandaco2011 amandaco2011
You need to be honest the whole time, but don't just talk non stop about deep issues the other person didn't ask about.
08/29/2011
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Unique posters: 45