How would you deal with a partner's low sex drive? Any advice?

Contributor: Crash Crash
My girlfriend acts like she's interested in sex when we are apart. We are living about 3 hours away from each other, and every so often she or I will make the drive. I'm at her place this weekend, and she has been avoiding sex. I don't know what the problem is. What do you think I should do? It's frustrating for me and it seems to be for her. I don't understand.
01/30/2011
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Contributor: Vaccinium Vaccinium
Quote:
Originally posted by Crash
My girlfriend acts like she's interested in sex when we are apart. We are living about 3 hours away from each other, and every so often she or I will make the drive. I'm at her place this weekend, and she has been avoiding sex. I don't ... more
Well, the advice everyone here is going to give you-- and rightfully so-- is to talk to her about it.

Aside from that, what are you doing leading up to sex? I mean, if you are getting to her place expecting to screw and putting no effort into seducing, flirting, and otherwise wooing her, it's hard to expect her to be interested. Treating every time with her as if you were trying to have sex with her for the first time may very well be what she is expecting/hoping for. If, on the other hand, you are doing these things, then things get more complicated.

My wife has had a low sex drive for all 14+ years of our marriage with the exception of last three months of her second pregnancy, so my experience is that if a woman has a naturally low sex drive, there isn't much you can do about it. It may be biochemical, it may be stress, it may be something else, but sometimes a low sex drive is mostly out of your hands.
01/30/2011
Contributor: Crash Crash
Good advice. We did talk about it and we worked things out.
01/31/2011
Contributor: Vaccinium Vaccinium
Quote:
Originally posted by Crash
Good advice. We did talk about it and we worked things out.
Glad to hear it. Just keep in mind, it doesn't end here. Without careful nurturing of the relationship, it could happen again.
01/31/2011
Contributor: mrs.mckrakn mrs.mckrakn
i have no idea. wish i had some advice. but unfortunately goin threw something similar. at one point i thought he was having an affair... it seems like i want it a lot more than he does. drove myself crazy for a while. now, im just trying to get used to it.
01/31/2011