Okay...I need a "like" button for a lot of these posts.
Rhazya, I was once in a very similar position to where you are now. I'm wondering, what was your childhood like? Perhaps there was some physical abuse going on? Perhaps, like me, you weren't physically abused, but were emotionally abused by a parent or other person in your life? (This would include name-calling, frequent angry outbursts, overly harsh punishments such as destruction of your favorite things, etc.).
The man I married, at 27, was not really a bad guy, but he did talk me into doing sexual things I really didn't want to do. I blamed myself at the time for not being firm about my own desires, but he should have respected my boundaries and not pushed. I began drinking a lot, and we fought a lot. At 30, I realized I was more than just "bicurious" and left my husband, began dating women...and my first serious girlfriend was extremely emotionally abusive, AND verbally bullied and manipulated me into doing sexual thinks that I didn't want to do and/or were painful for me, and it turned out that she had paranoid schizophrenia. Wow, did I know how to pick 'em!
That relationship taught me a LOT about myself and who I wanted to be with, however, and after the break-up I went back to college (which was great for my self-esteem all by itself) and got some confirmation/validatio n of my conclusions in my psychology classes. I started paying attention to red flags when I dated someone, respecting my own comfort levels and boundaries, and ended a two-month dating relationship when she started acting jealous and tried to talk me into seeing her when I felt like having an evening alone. I then took a year off from dating, and just spent time making myself happy.
Now, finally, at almost 38, I'm in a healthy relationship with an amazing woman who is supportive, sweet, and respectful of my wants and needs. So, baby steps! As others have suggested, don't worry about dating for a while. Try to focus on developing your own interests, as that will improve your self-esteem and value in your own eyes.
Finding an understanding therapist with whom you feel comfortable would be a big help, as well. And I want to point out that, though you may not think much of yourself right now, I can see several very positive things about you just from your post here. You are educated (or you wouldn't have student loans to pay back!); you are responsible (or you wouldn't be paying those loans!); you write clearly and articulately, and are obviously intelligent; you're self-aware and self-analytical; and you took the initiative to post here in search of advice. There is a powerful woman inside you, and you will learn to trust that.