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Originally posted by
Kim!
My sister is pregnant and her boyfriend was not welcomed at my grandparents' for Christmas because he is black. She isn't the first to get pregnant out of wedlock but the rest of us have found significant others allowed at family gatherings.
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My sister is pregnant and her boyfriend was not welcomed at my grandparents' for Christmas because he is black. She isn't the first to get pregnant out of wedlock but the rest of us have found significant others allowed at family gatherings. I had no clue that they were racist and certainly not to that degree. She did not go at all. Nor did I but I wasn't planning on it. The gathering was Sunday and I had to work that night originally so I was going to be asleep. I probably wouldn't have gone once I learned about this though. In fact, work was cancelled due to the snowstorm effecting our workload and I found out prior to the party but remained at home.
So I really want to know, has anyone been in this situation and how did you handle it? Did your family eventually accept your significant other? Did you cut ties off with the family in the end? If you had a child, did your family love the child? If you, like me, are the sibling did you do anything to show support or show them that they're wrong?
Thank you. I really am at a loss what to do here.
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I'm so sorry this is happening. I don't understand this type of behavior. My father was a University professor, so I was raised pretty liberal with all different kinds of people at our house, from hippies to people of color to GLBT people etc always hanging around. My dad had a party for some other professors and students way back in the 70s and one of the neighbors called the police because "there are hippies and (N word
II REFUSE to say) on their lawn." The police showed up and were irritated by the silliness of this woman's phone call which wasted their time. The same neighbor once called my mom; one of my Sicilian cousins was over, he was a very dark skinned kid and she said, "Did you know P'Gell is playing with a (N word) child?" My mother calmly said, "Yes, that's my nephew." and hung up.
Way to go, Mom.
In our nuclear family, we've tried very hard to eliminate racism. My Man's family is rife with racism and I cannot stand any of it. We see them very infrequently. My eldest dd has dated several men of color. The man who is her Life Partner is Latino, (he calls himself a "Mexi-rican" or a "Sorta-Rican" His Dad is from Puerto Rico and his Mom is from Mexico.) and he's simply part of the family. My middle daughter is dating a young Asian man and my baby's three best friends are a boy from Pakistan, a girl from India and a boy who is Brazilian. (OK. She is eleven she isn't a baby. But, she is MY baby.)
Oddly, his family had problem with ME, because I am olive skinned and Mediterranean. They wanted to know why he couldn't find "a nice Bohemian or Polish girl. Why do you have to date a WOP?" Nice, huh? They also treat one of his cousin's husbands this way. He's an African American man and they have a lovely, beautiful gifted boy and I have only seen her husband a few times. They are not kind to him. They are so nasty about it, that he simply doesn't show up for events anymore. If I were her, I would cut the SOBs off, but that's just me.
