Is there any way this is kosher?

hyacinthgirl hyacinthgirl
So I disappeared for awhile because my sub began dating someone. They had broken up for awhile, and she asked him to get back together (one day before my birthday). Besides a D/s thing, my sub and I didn't have anything official, so he could date if he wanted to. He lives a little under 1000 miles away, so this has all been online.

Things between him and his girlfriend haven't been so good. He's got a high sex drive, and based on everything he's told me, she's either asexual or grey-A. She's completely uninterested in sex and refuses to discuss it. She's a nice person and likes him, but she also has some major issues with depression and often ignores his calls for days, and doesn't have the resources to offer him support, added to her complete lack of interest in sex. She's told him she no longer considers their relationship serious, and is pretty much planning on breaking it off if she goes to grad school next summer.

Throughout their entire relationship I have tried to step back. I am crazy about my sub, but I originally told him I didn't want a long-distance relationship (I changed my mind, but I held my peace rather than meddle in his relationship). He would ask my advice, and when he pointed out things I found glaring (her lack of interest in sex, her inability to cope with his needs and issues because of her need to focus on her own issues), I tried to keep to that I thought they were incompatible. I stopped talking to him about the sex my Young Man and I have, and just stopped having sexual conversations in general. Finally, on Sunday, he told me that she hadn't talked to him in a week, except to tell him that she was pretty much planning on dumping him in a few months and that she didn't feel serious about him. He and I ended up having our first cybersex session since they began dating. We both really enjoyed it, and ended up having another last night, though we haven't been on cam yet.

So... my nature is trying to figure out if I am playing false. She says she's not serious about him, and he has said I have been a far better girlfriend, even without us dating, not to mention the sexual chemistry we have. But I feel wrong having cybersex with someone who is technically dating, even if it's hanging on by a thread and is a relationship of convenience. But I also find him all but irresistible. There isn't really anyone in my every day life I can talk to. He doesn't feel it's cheating, because she says she's not serious about him, but I still feel like it's not quite kosher.
02/28/2013
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Chilipepper Chilipepper
I understand about needing the Official Announcement of the Break Up - it feels a bit shady when everything is up in the air and like you're doing stuff behind people's backs.

I know you intend to keep out of their relationship woes, but it does sound like he needs to just get it over with and do the dumping because it looks like she's not taking responsibility for doing it herself ("Yeah, I'll let you hang on and ignore you for a few months until I leave, THEN it'll OFFICIALLY be over"). Quite frankly, it sounds like she's being a twat by doing that.

Basically, since she has no intention of getting back with him, even during the time she has left, it's dead. Besides, it takes two to tango, and you didn't force him to cyber, so he's obviously not letting the so-called relationship stop him.
02/28/2013
evie.amor evie.amor
If its going to bother you or you think it might bother you someday, don't do it. Personally, it sounds like she made it pretty clear her feelings so I wouldn't feel bad about it. 1000 miles is pretty dang far too, so anything over the computer seems especially harmless.
03/01/2013
Total posts: 3
Unique posters: 3