Jealousy (non-poly,non-open relationships)

I tried searching the forums to see if there was anything like this already, but mostly all I found was for those in our community who are in poly relationships.

I'm in a non-open relationship with my girlfriend and time and time again the green devil has rooted itself in me. There have been times when I've even been so bad to get jealous or upset that she goes out to eat with her family without me or out to wal mart without me. It's actually really, really embarrassing to admit this, even though none of you know me in real life.

Today, I got jealous over the fact that her mother has the ability to take off work at the last minute to go with her for her health re-evaluation (retired/disabled military vet, she is) and I more than likely will not be able to. She doesn't know when she is going to have to go, and she will more than likely only be told a few days before. She invited me along months ago (I actually forgot), but pointed out that since I work in retail, asking off at the last minute is nearly impossible. And I got really hurt over that.

I can really only blame that on my jealousy. I don't know why it hits me so hard, and I am at a total loss as to how to control it. I'm only like this when it comes to my girlfriend. It really frustrates her, and I can't seem to cut the habit.

I am seeking some serious advice. Also, any anecdotes you have to share would be appreciated to, I like reading about other peoples' lives. less

In my opinion, every person has a certain degree of jealousy in them. It happens more often to couples with newly developed relationships, and probably becomes worse when mutuality is established, but will slowly fade over time. Your girlfriend didn't ask you to accompany her to her health re-evaluation, because she is being thoughtful and don't want to mess up your work schedule, you should change your mindset and be happy she is such an unselfish person. less

I tried searching the forums to see if there was anything like this already, but mostly all I found was for those in our community who are in poly relationships.

I'm in a non-open relationship with my girlfriend and time and time again the green devil has rooted itself in me. There have been times when I've even been so bad to get jealous or upset that she goes out to eat with her family without me or out to wal mart without me. It's actually really, really embarrassing to admit this, even though none of you know me in real life.

Today, I got jealous over the fact that her mother has the ability to take off work at the last minute to go with her for her health re-evaluation (retired/disabled military vet, she is) and I more than likely will not be able to. She doesn't know when she is going to have to go, and she will more than likely only be told a few days before. She invited me along months ago (I actually forgot), but pointed out that since I work in retail, asking off at the last minute is nearly impossible. And I got really hurt over that.

I can really only blame that on my jealousy. I don't know why it hits me so hard, and I am at a total loss as to how to control it. I'm only like this when it comes to my girlfriend. It really frustrates her, and I can't seem to cut the habit.

I am seeking some serious advice. Also, any anecdotes you have to share would be appreciated to, I like reading about other peoples' lives. less

If I recall correctly in another one of your comments from God knows when, didn't you say that this is the first time she's ever been in a girl-girl relationship?

I think deep down you might be afraid that she doesn't care for you the way you care for her and it's rocking your world whenever she steps out without you. It's just a guess based on my initial question to you. less

It's actually the first time that *I* have ever been in a girl-girl relationship. She's had one actual girl-girl relationship before me and slept with countless other girls.

I think that makes a lot of sense, sometimes I am afraid that I feel a lot more for her than she does for me.

And Rossie, you make a very, very good point. She is an insanely unselfish person and I think working to change my mindset will help out so much in our relationship.

You're right, JR, I should try to figure out logically what's getting me all worked up and jealous and if I come to the same conclusion, then it is an issue, but if it's something different, then it could just be situational. less

It's actually the first time that *I* have ever been in a girl-girl relationship. She's had one actual girl-girl relationship before me and slept with countless other girls.

I think that makes a lot of sense, sometimes I am afraid that I feel a lot more for her than she does for me.

And Rossie, you make a very, very good point. She is an insanely unselfish person and I think working to change my mindset will help out so much in our relationship.

You're right, JR, I should try to figure out logically what's getting me all worked up and jealous and if I come to the same conclusion, then it is an issue, but if it's something different, then it could just be situational. less