OMG This Sucks!!!

Contributor: Tori Rebel Tori Rebel
I just want to thank you all again - I didn't expect this incredible outpouring from this community of people I've never met in person, and yet it's made the biggest difference in my day!!!

But I just got an e-mail from EF saying that some things I ordered - including things for HIM - have shipped.
03/15/2011
Contributor: Michelle Menace Michelle Menace
Sorry to hear big hugs
03/15/2011
Contributor: Tori Rebel Tori Rebel
The start of full day 2 without him. Still blows! I just wish this whole healing thing happened faster!!!! I'm not that patient!
03/16/2011
Contributor: Chilipepper Chilipepper
Quote:
Originally posted by Tori Rebel
The start of full day 2 without him. Still blows! I just wish this whole healing thing happened faster!!!! I'm not that patient!
Sounds familiar. Just let it run its course and keep in contact with friends during that time.
03/16/2011
Contributor: Selective Sensualist Selective Sensualist
I'm so sorry, hon. I agree with what everyone else has said. You are a wonderful AND strong person, and I know you will get through this. Just don't ever feel like you can't reach out to others when you are at your lowest point, in an emotional valley. Like everything else in life, the low points / valley moments don't last. You still have plenty of high points / mountaintop experiences ahead of you. Just set some small, attainable goals for personal happiness / self-fulfillment and just take it slowly, one step at a time, and remember to treat yourself well with positive and kind self-talk along the way.
03/16/2011
Contributor: CSEA CSEA
Quote:
Originally posted by Tori Rebel
Thank you all so much - At my age and where I am in life I don't have a ton of real life friends (a few great ones, but they have their own lives, ya know?), and I never understood how people considered this online community such a family and a ... more
You know, you have a great head on your shoulders! It is tough. Its annoying to constantly think about everything you guys did together, like attached to the hip. My bf of two years, we are like freakin attached to the hip (at work, home, bed) and now in May hes moving to New York for better work opportunities. Hes going out there on a limb, hoping it will work and who knows for how long. It eats me inside. But like you said, he is an awesome guy. And if it were my career, he would want me to succeed and do what I want as well. Remember as people, we want to live a satisfied life and do everything we can for a happy life. His kids need him at the moment more (not that you dont either) but once that situation is over, remember you guys can still talk and you never know in the future you get back together and the puzzle pieces may fit more comfortably then. I understand, I feel how you do! Hes my best friend! I see this as an opportunity to "do-his-duties" and feel set in his life, then who knows ..

Stay occupied, stay smart and you are wonderfuL!
03/16/2011
Contributor: Tori Rebel Tori Rebel
Quote:
Originally posted by CSEA
You know, you have a great head on your shoulders! It is tough. Its annoying to constantly think about everything you guys did together, like attached to the hip. My bf of two years, we are like freakin attached to the hip (at work, home, bed) and ... more
Thank you so much I'm doing my best, I swear.
03/16/2011
Contributor: Jobthingy Jobthingy
*HUGE ASS HUGS*

I am sorry you are in this spot sweets. It will get better and you will find that person that will click with you in the future. I am sure of it.
03/16/2011
Contributor: pinkzombie pinkzombie
Focus on yourself and trying to make yourself a better person. Try something new, and adventurous that you never would have before. Donate time to a charity or organization. Watch chick flicks that empower women and comedy's. Trust me You will get over this!!! I have felt the exact same way out of a 6yr relationship! I spent a lot of time surrounded with family, kids, and animals...the little things in life...that all helped.
03/16/2011
Contributor: Miss Jenn Miss Jenn
Quote:
Originally posted by Tori Rebel
Thank you all so much, again.

Now here's my other question. I know I'll be able to find someone (down the road of course - I am in NO rush) that I have similar interests to. Even someone that I'll be able to develop that strong ... more
You say that you cant just come out and say all that to the guy when you meet him or on the first date --- But you can! you really can. I always have. I let them know- hey, this is what I like, and what Im into. Either you can hang, or you cant, but lets not waste each others time if you cant. - Its really that simple. Some people just cant fathom how much sex someone can really like. some people dont understand that tattoo is art, and is beautiful. Some people cannot understand for the life of them how to be open with their sex. You know what you like and what you want - and you need to tell the people that.


Good luck, hun. I know its hard when the one you think is the one walks away... mine came back 6mos later. Thank god. Idk where I would be right now without him. I know not everyone is lucky. But maybe one day he will. And if he does - you will know at that moment if its right or not. Maybe this is a change that you need.

You can do it. Now grab a some ice cream, cheese cake, and watch Golden Girls LOL
03/16/2011
Contributor: Tori Rebel Tori Rebel
Quote:
Originally posted by Miss Jenn
You say that you cant just come out and say all that to the guy when you meet him or on the first date --- But you can! you really can. I always have. I let them know- hey, this is what I like, and what Im into. Either you can hang, or you cant, but ... more
I guess I COULD be that open...I mean, if he or she runs, they weren't the right type anyway, right? And if they stay, chances are they're up for it.

People keep telling me he'll come back when he gets his head on straight and figures out what he did but I can't wait around for him. So instead I'm going shopping tonite, going to a piercer to see about some new metal, and boiling all of 'his' tantus dildos and reclaiming them as my own! LOL
03/17/2011
Contributor: BBW Talks Toys BBW Talks Toys
Quote:
Originally posted by Tori Rebel
I guess I COULD be that open...I mean, if he or she runs, they weren't the right type anyway, right? And if they stay, chances are they're up for it.

People keep telling me he'll come back when he gets his head on straight and ... more
I wish I could "Like" that last sentence. You go, gorgeous!
03/17/2011
Contributor: Tori Rebel Tori Rebel
I just wanted to thank you all again for your support

Things are still hard here but at least now there are moments of less pain. I still can't be with him, I have not heard from him, and not knowing where I/we stand is terrifying. But seeing as it's due to a mental crisis on TOP OF a family crisis on his part, I can't blame him. When I broke it down, I lost him and I have friends, family, coping skills, a therapist, a psychiatrist, and the experience of having started my life over behind me. He's lost me, has some serious fears about his kids, has health issues because of the stress, had a small breakdown, has no one he can really turn to, no skills to cope with this, and no idea how to recover.

It hurts to know someone I love is in such an awful position even more than living without him sucks. But I'm getting through, one day at a time, and doing my best to have faith that if he is meant to be with me, he'll be back when he's ready. Until then, I'll get by. And if he's not meant to be with me and stays gone, it just means that there's someone better just waiting for me.

For those of you that believe in prayer (to anyone/anything - it's not so much the deity I'm concerned with as the push of positive energy) as my therapist, my family members, and I do, PLEASE pray for HIM. He has no real support system of his own (besides me) and needs mental clarity, strength, courage, and honesty!

Thank you again so much for all that all of you have done!!!
03/24/2011
Contributor: BBW Talks Toys BBW Talks Toys
Quote:
Originally posted by Tori Rebel
I just wanted to thank you all again for your support

Things are still hard here but at least now there are moments of less pain. I still can't be with him, I have not heard from him, and not knowing where I/we stand is terrifying. But ... more
You got it babe
03/24/2011
Contributor: Vaccinium Vaccinium
Quote:
Originally posted by Tori Rebel
I just wanted to thank you all again for your support

Things are still hard here but at least now there are moments of less pain. I still can't be with him, I have not heard from him, and not knowing where I/we stand is terrifying. But ... more
You are such a sweetheart.

Done.
03/24/2011
Contributor: Jul!a Jul!a
Quote:
Originally posted by Tori Rebel
I just wanted to thank you all again for your support

Things are still hard here but at least now there are moments of less pain. I still can't be with him, I have not heard from him, and not knowing where I/we stand is terrifying. But ... more
You are an amazing person, and I will definitely be praying for him.
03/24/2011
Contributor: liilii080 liilii080
You have a much better attitude about things than I think I would. Big hug to you and prayers for him and his family.
03/24/2011
Contributor: sexyk515 sexyk515
that right one will come along
03/24/2011
Contributor: Selective Sensualist Selective Sensualist
Quote:
Originally posted by Tori Rebel
I just wanted to thank you all again for your support

Things are still hard here but at least now there are moments of less pain. I still can't be with him, I have not heard from him, and not knowing where I/we stand is terrifying. But ... more
Has anyone ever told you what a sweetheart you are? You are so wonderful to keep your concern on him while you recover from your own pain from losing him. (((Hugs)))

You have plenty of wonderful relationships ahead of you yet.
03/27/2011
Contributor: Erotica Explorer Erotica Explorer
Quote:
Originally posted by Tori Rebel
Thanks. The time is the part that sucks - I KNOW it will feel better. I just wish it would happen faster!

And I hate that we had a future planned out and now it's shattered. Everything I looked forward to for two years is gone and now I ... more
I think the best light I can shed on this is the following bit of advice:

Don't rush through this process. If this is well and truly done, take time for yourself. Figure out who you are, what you want, what you like, and what you're looking for. Use this time to be selfish. Do things that you've always wanted to do.

It will take time; this is a grieving and re-defining process.
03/27/2011