Second chances after cheating?

Peggi Peggi
Many of us have been cheated on by a significant other and know the pain, and some of us have not. If you found out that your partner had cheated on you would you give them a second chance? This of course would include, at least after a period of time, trusting them not to do it again!
Answers (public voting - your screen name will appear in the results):
Yes, give them a 2nd chance!
BBW Talks Toys , A Closet Slut (aka nipplepeople) , padmeamidala , ss143 , Kayla , Hallmar82 , wrmbreze
7  (8%)
No way! No more chances after cheating!
Peggi , Elnoa , Starkiller87 , married with children , The Curious Couple , CoffeeCup , froggiemoma , Beck , EdenG , Sohotdinosaur , Lucky21 , GeekWife , Sunshineamine , Avant-garde , PonyGirl Sin , sarki , Miss Nessa , toxie m , LovelyBeauty , kendra30752 , Princess-Kayla ♥ , Sir , Jon S , hyacinthgirl , KC Kitten , MrWishyWashy , Devy , cheetahpita , mpfm , Vanille , Rarity , Moein , laceypanties , SMichelle , LavenderSkies , SilverIsis , llellsee , allybee , eeep , AnnRob , Mistress Sassy , Wonderstruck , CaliGirl , MK434 , BG529 , PeaceToTheMiddleEast
46  (50%)
It depends on the circumstances (please explain)
aliceinthehole , Ansley , ParisLove , LennaKieran , darthkitt3n , Nora , frisky069 , Diabolical Kitty , Screen Door , yrnw , jakjak , PussyPurr , Lady Venus , link82 , sktb0007 , Mistress Mandy , Bry & Jenn , TameTemptress , Hot 'N Sexy TexasMama , Ms. Spice , XYCopperheadSly , StephieBoo02 , Airen Wolf , LilLostLenore , Adriana Ravenlust , lacybutton , Fun Lover , SugarLips , authorzero , dayne , -BillD , Sex'и'Violence , CherryGryffon , humblepie , gsfanatic , gloomybear , potstickers , Jaxxie Lifeless
38  (41%)
I'll just leave it be, I'm cheating too!
Snooki
1  (1%)
Total votes: 92
Poll is closed
08/18/2011
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married with children married with children
once a cheater, always a cheater. I have many friends that fall into this category. Trust is the biggest part of a healthy relationship, and you lose that when one cheats on the other.
08/18/2011
Peggi Peggi
Quote:
Originally posted by married with children
once a cheater, always a cheater. I have many friends that fall into this category. Trust is the biggest part of a healthy relationship, and you lose that when one cheats on the other.
Agreed fully!
08/18/2011
JessCee JessCee
"No way! No more chances after cheating!"

I have only been in this situation once.. and I gave the guy a second chance, he ended up proving the whole "once a cheater always a cheater" saying right so needless to say, from now on... no way!!
08/18/2011
The Curious Couple The Curious Couple
I could never give somebody a second chance when it comes to that. I would be way too hurt.
08/18/2011
BBW Talks Toys BBW Talks Toys
Anonymous answers in regards to "I'm cheating too" will be more useful in future polls. Some people don't want to publicly announce all their deeds. That said, I'm not cheating... and my answer should have actually been: "It depends on the circumstances."

You never know what you're going to do until you're there. There are infinite things to consider in regards to this:

1) Was it physical and emotional? Just physical?
2) Are you married?
3) Do you have kids?
4) Did your partner confess or did you find them out?
5) Is your partner asking for another chance?

Those amongst many things should be taken into consideration before you decide if you're giving up on your relationship. Then you have to do what's right for you. Not based on anyone's advice. Just for you. It could be that you do all the work to set things right and you still can't bring yourself to forgive. That's okay. It's okay to just walk away as well. Just do what you think is the best choice for you.
08/18/2011
froggiemoma froggiemoma
No way! no second chances here.
08/19/2011
Ansley Ansley
There are too many things that I would need to consider before I could answer definitively, but I do know that when you've been together for as long as we have that you're not just going to throw it all away or let the other person throw it away without a serious effort to fix it first.
08/19/2011
padmeamidala padmeamidala
Quote:
Originally posted by Peggi
Many of us have been cheated on by a significant other and know the pain, and some of us have not. If you found out that your partner had cheated on you would you give them a second chance? This of course would include, at least after a period of ... More
I have always believed in second chances. I highly doubt my Master would ever cheat on me though. I've known him 20 years and he's never done that to anyone he ever dated.
08/19/2011
Beck Beck
No thanks, if I get cheated on, I am out! I do not believe in second chances for anything. After I leave, I will get my revenge, personally it would be like sleeping with the best friend or that person he did not want me to hang around. HEHE, it is not cheating when you do it after you leave and I would leave first, I am not a cheater.
08/19/2011
ParisLove ParisLove
I dont know honestly it really depends
08/19/2011
Lucky21 Lucky21
I can't say that there might not be some extenuating circumstance, but I'm of the mindset that once it's been done, it can't be undone. It's about the trust, not the sex.
08/19/2011
Wildchild Wildchild
Quote:
Originally posted by Peggi
Many of us have been cheated on by a significant other and know the pain, and some of us have not. If you found out that your partner had cheated on you would you give them a second chance? This of course would include, at least after a period of ... More
I was cheated on, The reason I was told was; The kid's father said want to see the kids? Sleep with me. He wasn't letting her see the kids. I'm not saying it's right, but due to the fact that she was honest with me, told me within a few hours (crying and upset), I let it go. Until she pisses me off then i remind her. So I explained to her the RIGHT way to visit with the kids. Take it to family court. Anyway I didn't vote because I couldn't figure out how to vote on the topic. My point is that there is black, white, gray and colored areas in life.
08/19/2011
Ansley Ansley
Quote:
Originally posted by Wildchild
I was cheated on, The reason I was told was; The kid's father said want to see the kids? Sleep with me. He wasn't letting her see the kids. I'm not saying it's right, but due to the fact that she was honest with me, told me within a ... More
That's some grade-A manipulation, right there. Geez! I'm so sorry that happened, but glad to see it worked out.
08/19/2011
Beck Beck
Quote:
Originally posted by Wildchild
I was cheated on, The reason I was told was; The kid's father said want to see the kids? Sleep with me. He wasn't letting her see the kids. I'm not saying it's right, but due to the fact that she was honest with me, told me within a ... More
That dude needs to be smacked! I can not believe someone would do something like that! Men are pigs sometimes.
08/19/2011
GeekWife GeekWife
Nope, cheating = byebye. I don't have any inkling that hubs would ever in a million years even think of cheating on me, but ex-fiance did and he was kicked to the curb in a heartbeat. It was hard, but it was what I had to do. I got a much better husband anyway.
08/19/2011
Nora Nora
If you know your significant other has cheated in the past (even with someone else), chances are they will do it again. You shouldn't really be surprised when it happens. If you have both cheated in the past...maybe consider an open or even semi-open relationship that allows both "parties" to have their fun and come back and tell you the tales so you are somewhat involved!
08/19/2011
frisky069 frisky069
Quote:
Originally posted by Peggi
Many of us have been cheated on by a significant other and know the pain, and some of us have not. If you found out that your partner had cheated on you would you give them a second chance? This of course would include, at least after a period of ... More
i'm a very forgiving person, which can be bad for me! but i always end up getting screwed over after that!
08/21/2011
bayosgirl bayosgirl
Usually people that cheat once will do it over and over again. Better to cut it off as early asap-in other words, as soon as you find out.
08/21/2011
ss143 ss143
bf cheated on me years ago and I gave him another chance and we are still together however if I were to be in another relationship ever in the future I will not give a second chance again.
08/21/2011
Diabolical Kitty Diabolical Kitty
I say it depends on the circumstances. I mean what do both partners consider cheating? I mean it would depend on the people really.
08/21/2011
Screen Door Screen Door
It definitely depends of the circumstances.
08/21/2011
Sunshineamine Sunshineamine
NO WAY! I made exceptions for my ex husband because we were married and I wanted to try and work it out but NEVER again will I tolerate someone who is insecure and feels the need to go behind my back and be with someone else. If you have problems with being with me only tell me and don't be with me I say.
08/21/2011
PonyGirl Sin PonyGirl Sin
NO way!!
08/21/2011
sarki sarki
Chances are they will do it again and I won't be a 'door mat'
08/21/2011
Miss Nessa Miss Nessa
I couldn't because I'll always be worrying if the person is cheating on me or not.
08/29/2011
Peggi Peggi
Wow I didn't expect so much feedback on this poll, some of your stories of past experiences, I hope you managed to find happiness after the issue was dealt with

Personally, I've been cheated on, gave a second chance, and it continued to happen. After that, my own strict rule is, if you cheat, I don't care who it was with, how I found out, or what you say after the event, you're gone. In my own personal opinion there is no excuse for cheating, a relationship is a bond, and if you feel you need to cheat on your partner you should break up with them because clearly you don't love them and don't want to be with them.

However, there are some cases where I've had friends who have cheated and despite the fact that they did it, it was not for lack of wanting to leave their partner. One of the friends in this case eventually got a restraining order placed on her ex, but she feared for hers and her child's life (not a child by him) if she were to leave him, and she met someone who made her happy. That's where I feel cheating is ok, if you literally have NO way out of the relationship without physical danger to yourself. But otherwise, break it off :/ that's why, I say, no 2nd chances!!!
08/29/2011
LovelyBeauty LovelyBeauty
I would say NO WAY! I've been guilty of taking someone back after cheating and they didn't change! I learned the hard way!!
08/30/2011
kendra30752 kendra30752
At some point I would do my best to forgive, but theres no way I could live with that torture so Id have to leave. Id feel not good enough, less than if he cheated.
08/31/2011
sktb0007 sktb0007
I guess if you can tell how sincere the person is when they apologize then that should make the difference of whether you give them a second chance or not... However, I am naive. So when my ex did this, I believed he was sorry.... just to find him going and doing it again.
09/02/2011
Total posts: 70
Unique posters: 64