Sex Life in a Relationship

Anniboop Anniboop
So I have been with this guy for 4 months, and for at least the past month not a day has gone by where we haven't done something sexual, rather it be intercourse, oral, etc. Sofor the past two days he seems to be avoiding anything that has to do with sex and when I bring it up to him he says that I am imagining it all. What should I do to spice things up and practically MAKE him want me again? (if it is in fact that he doesn't want me)
03/26/2011
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Lucidity Lucidity
Sexual relationships ebb and flow naturally. Don't freak out over less interest over the course of a few days. If it turns into weeks or months, talk to him.
03/27/2011
Lithaewyn Lithaewyn
I'd say give him a break. It really doesn't mean at all that he's not attracted to you. I have a friend whose girlfriend is a total sex fiend and he loves her but their sexual relationship is exhausting for him.

Remember, there needs to be a balance.
03/27/2011
Anniboop Anniboop
I guess it was a concern because he had been talking to this girl and flirting with her when all of this was going on.
Also his interest in viewing nudity online increased and he was masturbating more, but not showing me any attention.
This all bothered me.
03/29/2011
Anniboop Anniboop
Quote:
Originally posted by Anniboop
I guess it was a concern because he had been talking to this girl and flirting with her when all of this was going on.

Also his interest in viewing nudity online increased and he was masturbating more, but not showing me any ... More
need I mention I am not one of those girls who is anti-porn when it comes to the man I am dating, I know it probably sounded that way....
But when he is masturbating to these skinnier sexier women and won't even let me give him a blowjob (yes I was rejected)....It kind of begins to bother me....
The whole thing is....
I am nowhere near a sex fiend....
I just want some attention every now and then....like maybe every other day, every two to three days even.
I just felt like he was losing interest in me...
like he wanted one of these skinnier, sexier ladies...
my real question was how can I become that sexier woman without being skinnier....
I am 5'3" and 190lbs....not really big, but not what his attention was focused on....
And of course it crossed my mind that boys with be boys and look at all the tits they can....I know....but still....
He used to make me feel like the only woman in the world....now it's not like that....and I miss it.
03/29/2011
Ansley Ansley
Quote:
Originally posted by Anniboop
need I mention I am not one of those girls who is anti-porn when it comes to the man I am dating, I know it probably sounded that way....

But when he is masturbating to these skinnier sexier women and won't even let me give him a blowjob ... More
I don't mean to burst your bubble, but four months does not a relationship make.
And you should NEVER EVER MAKE someone want you. That's just a disaster waiting to happen. Seriously.

The only way to know what's going on is to ask him and to be honest, four months into it may not be long enough for him to be open enough to tell you what's going on or he could just be an immature douchebag.

I can't tell you how to word it specifically because it's a case by case kind of thing but if you're concerned, you should ask. Regardless of the answers he chooses to give you, you'll know you've done your part. At the end of the day, if nothing changes he may not be into you and could have been using you because you were available for pleasure. Now that someone else is giving him attention, he might be ready to move on. No one can really say for sure.

BE CONFIDENT. BE STRONG. If he doesn't want you, that's his loss.
03/29/2011
liilii080 liilii080
The only thing you can do is talk to him. There are a lot of reasons in a relationship that sex does or does not happen. Maybe he's feeling pressured to perform. Maybe he is flirting with someone else. Maybe he is getting sick. I wouldn't necessarily jump to the conclusion that it is you or another girl (or even porn). Talk to him. Give him some space. And know that whatever happens, you are a great person who has a lot going for them.
03/29/2011
Anniboop Anniboop
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley
I don't mean to burst your bubble, but four months does not a relationship make.

And you should NEVER EVER MAKE someone want you. That's just a disaster waiting to happen. Seriously.



The only way to know what's ... More
wow that was was brutal, and somewhat hurtful....
03/29/2011
Anniboop Anniboop
Quote:
Originally posted by Anniboop
wow that was was brutal, and somewhat hurtful....
Need I mention the girl he was flirting with is getting married this weekend...
03/29/2011
Anniboop Anniboop
Oh and thanks for all the replies.
Things definitely spiced up the night after I posted this.
We has the most amazing sex ever...
I love it when he does that sometimes.
makes me wait then gives me one hell of a night.
Haha.
If only I hadn't been upset and emotional throughout those days.
03/29/2011
Brandi Rouxxx Brandi Rouxxx
See, you were worrying over nothing... Sometimes it's good to go a few days without. That way you crave him and he craves you. And when you reunite, things are a-a-amazing...
03/29/2011
Lucidity Lucidity
Quote:
Originally posted by Anniboop
wow that was was brutal, and somewhat hurtful....
I'm curious why you think Ansley's answer was brutal and hurtful.
03/29/2011
Xavier7 Xavier7
Quote:
Originally posted by Anniboop
wow that was was brutal, and somewhat hurtful....
I agree. It was kind of just innapropriate. If someone can't answer a question with a nice answer, they shouldn't answer at all.
03/29/2011
Anniboop Anniboop
Quote:
Originally posted by Lucidity
I'm curious why you think Ansley's answer was brutal and hurtful.
It was brutal to me because in my last relationship the person found someone who was everything I was not and got tired of me and moved on to her...
So to me it was kinda brutal. Brings back all the hurt I felt when that relationship ended. Call me crazy.
I found it brutal and hurtful....just that last comment, which as Xavier7 pointed out was more inappropriate than anything else.
03/30/2011
LicentiouslyYours LicentiouslyYours
Quote:
Originally posted by Anniboop
It was brutal to me because in my last relationship the person found someone who was everything I was not and got tired of me and moved on to her...

So to me it was kinda brutal. Brings back all the hurt I felt when that relationship ended. ... More
It's unfortunate that Ansley's comments brought up painful memories for you, however she couldn't possibly know that it would, nor do I think she intended to be hurtful.

I also agree with her — the very simple truth is: there is no reason to change anything about yourself to make you more desirable to any particular person. If this guy doesn't think you are fabulous as you are — then he needs to move on. And as horrible as that sounds, it's ok—because there IS someone out there who will appreciate you as you are, no changes. That's the person you should hold out for. If this guy is that guy, great...don't let his day to day mood swings that come naturally for EVERYBODY affect your confidence in yourself. As you came to learn, he was fine, as he told you he was.

The only thing you need to change about you is to believe that you are good enough to deserve love as is.

And if the guy you're with doesn't agree, dump HIM and move on to someone who does. Life is too short to try to "be" anything for anybody other than yourself.
03/30/2011
Ansley Ansley
I'm sorry your feelings were hurt, that was not my intention at all. I just wanted to drive the point home that you should never ever compromise yourself for someone else's desires. It's not healthy.

People change and people grow and what fit before might not fit now. There's nothing wrong with that so long as both people are open and honest about it. It doesn't mean you are a terrible person or unattractive or any of that nonsense. It just means something in the other person changed and they need to move on. People come and go throughout our lives and that is how we grow. Each person adds a different dimension to our experiences and personality. Some are meant to stay for life and others only for a short while. The key is to enjoy as much of it as possible without tearing yourself down in the process.

Having been in a relationship for as long as I have (over a decade), I forget what it's like to be just starting out. I am glad to know that the situation resolved itself and you were able to get the attention you wanted from him.

(I grew up in Macon, by the way. Is the Nuway still there?)
03/30/2011
Anniboop Anniboop
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley
I'm sorry your feelings were hurt, that was not my intention at all. I just wanted to drive the point home that you should never ever compromise yourself for someone else's desires. It's not healthy.



People change and ... More
Several NuWays are here...haha.



Thanks you guys.
haha I can be a little....emotional. Who isnt?
03/30/2011
Ansley Ansley
Quote:
Originally posted by Anniboop
Several NuWays are here...haha.







Thanks you guys.

haha I can be a little....emotional. Who isnt?
Awesome. When I was there, only two existed. Best chili burger I've ever had.
03/30/2011
Total posts: 18
Unique posters: 8