What would you do?

ladychristie ladychristie
Your significant other signed up for a dating website what would you do?
Answers (public voting - your screen name will appear in the results):
leave them
nova2014 , SassySam , Adnerbmw
3  (4%)
confront them
Nazaress , ksparkles16 , js250 , anonkitty , wrmbreze , darthkitt3n , Entropy , unfulfilled , mama2007 , Incendiaire , Dawn (Lilac Distraction) , SilverMinxxx , Kissy , OhMy! , Ciao. , Mwar , Ilovelingerie , Zombirella , ScarletFox , DiamondKoala , JG24FanUK , married with children , XYCopperheadSly , richsam , Bethy Cassatt , dks210 , MistressDandelion , Teaser , leanright69 , Vegan Silk , CollegeFun2014 , Miss Nessa , The Geek , dragonn , lilys , humblepie , sweetpea12 , Noelle , Owl , toxie m , Arch600 , dhig , pirata , Dixiemomma , lisasharrer , brevado , jjdd , booboo111926 , libbyv , higs , mjtheprincess , Kyle Hunter , falalena , table38792 , IvyFayette , TexasBrat , sillylilkitten , Bignuf , Martiniman , justart , karenm , CutiePatootie , doowop , novanilla , XxFallenAngelxX , Silverwinds , Mrs.Hellzapoppin , GirlOnGirl , Stagger13 , hillys , Cosmonaut , BigDawg , MrWood , Cindi025 , Pete's Princess , mpfm , Rokmai , friendswithfangs
78  (93%)
make a fake profile and contact them
gorgeous , BlooJay , snowminx
3  (4%)
ignore it
Total votes: 84
Poll is closed
04/04/2012
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Nazaress Nazaress
I would confront them. They deserve at least that. But I'd probably leave them because that is simply unacceptable if we are in a monogamous relationship. That may not be "cheating" yet but it's the intention to cheat and that, in my opinion, is just as bad. But I'm also very harsh and strict now after having been emotionally cheated on (once with the intention to physically cheat) three times by my current boyfriend.
04/04/2012
ksparkles16 ksparkles16
definitely confront them! I think that's cheating
04/04/2012
js250 js250
Confront them and possible leave. If they are considering dating, there is an ulterior motive. However if it is a "dating" site that provides porn....could be the porn they are interested in, not the "dating".
04/04/2012
anonkitty anonkitty
It may not be cheating yet (physically), but the intention is there (most likely). Definitely confront them.
04/04/2012
ladychristie ladychristie
Curiosity got the best of me, but J did a couple weird things that made me want to check a dating website we both used to frequent. One he checked my phone which in the past I learned if they're suspicious of you it's because they're doing something they shouldn't be doing. Then he doesn't text me as much as he used to while we're at work, and One day just recently since I work right around the corner from my house I came home to grab my belt because I forgot it and his phone was sitting on the counter and the screen was on cause he just used it, that could've been nothing or just coincidence but now it looks suspicious. Then yesterday when he got home he got a text and made a point to tell me he got a spam text something about a gift card which I have never gotten spammy texts I don't know if people do get them but it made me go hmmm so I checked and low and behold the site said he had been on within the month. And I know it's a new profile because he just recently bought a shovelhead and his screen name depicts that. So lastnight when I got home from work instead of confronting him I sat on what I knew and played a couple songs "wish I didn't know" and "ring the alarm".

At this point I am just floored he moved in with me,with his kids it's not like he has money to pick up and leave just because he feels like it. He is remodeling the house and paying for most of it and this weekend he is buying the stuff to build a shed. And lastnight he was talking about using his income tax next year to buy me a new car. I know he has a wondering eye, I deal with it. Even though it bothers me with the things he says I figured he's just looking, but this, it just crosses the line for me, whether he's just looking for shits and giggles like it was mentioned the intent is most likely there. I guess that's why I wanted to set up a fake profile, with a fake picture to see how serious his intent was. Entrapment I know, but in a way I just want to know.
04/04/2012
darthkitt3n darthkitt3n
If my fiance signed up for one and was looking for matches, I'd confront him. However, I can understand him signing up for other reasons. I have an active account on one site because I'm trying to help a friend find matches. I put on my profile that I'm in a relationship and am not looking to date.
04/04/2012
Entropy Entropy
Leaving without confronting is a bad idea. Whatever response that you didn't get from them will haunt you for years.
04/04/2012
unfulfilled unfulfilled
I'd have to talk about it somehow. Casually bring it up in a conversation about I wonder how the site's doing now that I haven't been on it in X amount of time. Have you seen it recently? They making any changes or it all the same?
04/04/2012
ladychristie ladychristie
Quote:
Originally posted by unfulfilled
I'd have to talk about it somehow. Casually bring it up in a conversation about I wonder how the site's doing now that I haven't been on it in X amount of time. Have you seen it recently? They making any changes or it all the same?
That is a good idea, my biggest fear was the confrontation, I hate confrontation.
04/04/2012
EvilHomer EvilHomer
Definitely in the confront them column. Signing up for a dating site with the intent to cheat or pure dating sign, is going to basically be a game over. However there are a few dating sites out there that have a big selections of quizzes or there are dating sites out there that have an active forum for whatever the focus of the dating site is (just EF is a toy site with a forum.)

So basically, pure dating only site = confront and game over, site with an acceptable other reason to be there, intent is key.

Though how did you find out? They left a browser open or did you go snooping and find this?
04/04/2012
Dawn (Lilac Distraction) Dawn (Lilac Distraction)
Confront him, but don't accuse him. Just say that you're honestly curious and want to give him a chance to explain why he had done it. Often times people end up jumping to the worst possible scenario in their heads.

Normally, I personally don't have any problems with dating sites. Relationship or not I always poke around on OKCupid, but my partners usually know this (and often have a profile of their own or met me on there). I don't mind if they maintain a profile, either. But then again, OKCupid isn't truly a pure dating site. It's got quizzes, fun things, and people in relationships are fine and openly there because it's a great place to meet friends.

If you can't trust him there are probably other issues going on in your relationship that need to be looked at.
04/04/2012
ladychristie ladychristie
Quote:
Originally posted by EvilHomer
Definitely in the confront them column. Signing up for a dating site with the intent to cheat or pure dating sign, is going to basically be a game over. However there are a few dating sites out there that have a big selections of quizzes or there are ... More
We both used to frequent this site but when we started to get more serious we stopped going/deleted our profiles. And I did browse the site without signing up seeing if he signed up again and unfortunately I was right.
04/04/2012
SilverMinxxx SilverMinxxx
I would definitely bring it up to him. By signing up for something that like...what does that say about what he is looking for?! Even if he is not looking to hook up with anyone, there is still that option of emotional cheating. Sorry to hear about your situation.
04/04/2012
Kitka Kitka
There should be an Other option here. My husband and I are both signed up on OkCupid..
04/04/2012
Kissy Kissy
I would be pissed and he would know about it!
04/04/2012
EvilHomer EvilHomer
Quote:
Originally posted by ladychristie
We both used to frequent this site but when we started to get more serious we stopped going/deleted our profiles. And I did browse the site without signing up seeing if he signed up again and unfortunately I was right.
What worries me about the relationship, first that they have signed up for a dating site again (which I am assuming is not really an OkCupid quiz type site), but also that you went searching to see if they were there. The searching shows that something has caused there to be a lack of trust in the relationship, which is a bad sign.
04/04/2012
js250 js250
My current husband and I took our families out to a nice dinner and casually brought up the fact that we love everyone as if they were our own families. Told them we are very grateful to have them in our lives, are thankful for their help in incorporating and including all of our children into the family and let them know that we will continue to rely on them to make our individual children feel as loved and needed as everyone else. After all, those children look so forward to seeing everyone and are as excited as everyone else, if not more so, to the visits and company. We also had a special 'Thank you' cake just for everyone to share.

Guilt trip right off the top?? Yep!! But it worked!! And everyone was so proudly congratulating themselves on doing their part that they made extra efforts to include our individual children. We honestly are a complete and inclusive family now. It did take a bit of time, but it worked so much better by allowing them to live up to our pre-thank you's, than any confrontation ever would have. Good luck, hun, I really hope the family issues work out for you, your husband, your children and your respective families!!!!! Thinking of you!!
04/04/2012
Ciao. Ciao.
Confront him and talk to him about why he's doing it and see if you can work through the issue or not. A fake profile and entrapment just breeds distrust between both of you, and will likely only lead to a single outcome. Your partner may have a good explanation, an apology, or confession, but I think you just need to confront it and talk it out.
04/04/2012
js250 js250
Quote:
Originally posted by js250
My current husband and I took our families out to a nice dinner and casually brought up the fact that we love everyone as if they were our own families. Told them we are very grateful to have them in our lives, are thankful for their help in ... More
CRAP!!!!!

Sorry, guys, I put his on the wrong thread. Damn multitasking!!! Please forgive me!!!
04/05/2012
Mwar Mwar
I honestly don't know. It would be tempting to make a profile and see what their intentions are. You could also see if he's being unfaithful and to what extent.

However, if you need to do that, there is something truly wrong in the relationship to beging with.
04/05/2012
Ilovelingerie Ilovelingerie
Quote:
Originally posted by ladychristie
Your significant other signed up for a dating website what would you do?
I would confront them.

If this is what happend to you, don't make any hasty descisions without knowing facts.

Junk emails happen all the time.. and they can get your information easily, just be sure before leaving anyone.
04/05/2012
Zombirella Zombirella
I'd be pissed to be totally honest. And hurt. You have every right to confront him and you should. He has no reason to be on there at all.
My mom doesn't have texting on her phone and there have been a few times she got texts and I had to erase them for her.

As for checking your phone=them being a cheater, that isn't always the case. I have done and still do at times just to see. I have been hurt badly twice in the past in serious relationships and I have trouble trusting people (not just ones I date either). If someone has been hurt in the past they would check just because they have trouble trusting and don't want to get hurt.

You said he has a wondering eye or whatever, okay but signing up on a dating website?! Not acceptable! It just irks me when people do this, why can't you just be REAL and HONEST.
04/05/2012
JG24FanUK JG24FanUK
Quote:
Originally posted by ladychristie
Your significant other signed up for a dating website what would you do?
I'd want to know why they are doing that. I'd probably leave them if they are not satisfied.
04/06/2012
richsam richsam
Quote:
Originally posted by ladychristie
Your significant other signed up for a dating website what would you do?
it would get ugly
04/10/2012
Bethy Cassatt Bethy Cassatt
That song "Pinata Coladas" is about, well, pretty much that, but if I had to face it... It would be bad.
04/11/2012
dks210 dks210
Confront him/her! That is a form of cheating.
04/11/2012
ladychristie ladychristie
Well I did confront him and told him if he's not happy he's more then welcome to leave no hard feelings. I told him I'd even help him find someone else because I'm to old to deal with games. He told me I was stupid and he wasn't looking, he hasn't signed on since. It does make me be on alert but I guess we'll see as time goes on.
04/13/2012
Vegan Silk Vegan Silk
I would want to know why. It depends on how his setting were sent. I stayed on the dating site I met my ex. I just changed my profile to unavailable...
04/13/2012
gorgeous gorgeous
I would make a profile and set up a date with him. Maybe even get one of my friends to be the one hes looking for so he wont see me waiting on him. He would get in big trouble.
04/13/2012
Total posts: 61
Unique posters: 53