Which is better: starting out slow or starting out fast?

Lavender420 Lavender420 12/15/2011

I just recently got out of a three year relationship, and we took it fast straight from the beginning. Just after 3 months we were living together. Now, I've been seeing a guy for about 4 months and we're still just casually dating, although there are some feelings there for eachother. Do you guys think it's necessarily "better" to take things fast or slow?

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Lavender420 Lavender420
Looking for some good input.
12/15/2011
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inmytoybox inmytoybox
Quote:
Originally posted by Lavender420
Looking for some good input.
I like to mix it up each time.
12/16/2011
jedent jedent
go with the flow.
12/16/2011
punkstar283 punkstar283
whichever floats your boat
12/16/2011
klyte klyte
It depends, honestly. Do what's right for YOU. Some relationships take time to form that bond ,but mine, right away we knew.
12/16/2011
Nazaress Nazaress
I guess it depends on the situation but as someone who is new to "serious" relationships, I would NEVER move quickly. My boyfriend and I didn't start living together until I was kicked out the house and didn't have much choice. We've been dating for a year and (almost) four months now and I don't regret it, at least.
12/16/2011
Bignuf Bignuf
Quote:
Originally posted by Lavender420
Looking for some good input.
Slow allows you to get to KNOW each other without LUST clouding your judgement. SLOW allows you to become FRIENDS and FRIENDS make the BEST and MOST SUCCESSFUL long term lovers there are, in our humble opinion and few decades of observing which couples we know survive long term, verses which fail. Shooting stars are BEAUTIFUL, and burn out...fast.
12/16/2011
Stinkytofu10 Stinkytofu10
Whatever makes you most comfortable. Go with your heart, but don't forget your head either. Sometimes it's good to be cautious, you don't want to dive headlong into a relationship.
12/17/2011
married with children married with children
slow. take the time to get to know each other before you jump into the deep end.
12/17/2011
eeep eeep
Slow. So many problems can come up as you learn how each other react to various life stresses. Plus when you fall in love your bodies chemically align (men get a boost in estrogen, women get more androgen), which can make you more alike and get along better. When this evens out and the "honeymoon phase" is over, you start to see the differences more which can be a problem with some couples.
That said, sometimes things work out great when you go ahead full speed with the relationship. Every couple is different. Me, I'm cautious.
12/18/2011
deltalima deltalima
it's better slow as fast you lose the feeling of everything. too much too soon and it all crash and burns before it even took off.
12/18/2011
shySEXXaddict shySEXXaddict
Quote:
Originally posted by Lavender420
Looking for some good input.
all my relationships ive moved quickly with and how i regret it...so just go with it.i know im going through the same thing...im not even sure where we stand its going that slow..im afraid to ask i guess,but ive just been going with it and having fun .i dont want to ruin what we have and by jumping into something that might happen
12/29/2011
prttynink prttynink
It depends on the person. Sometimes I actually prefer to get all the cards out on the table right away before deciding whether or not it is worth our time to pursue something more.
01/02/2012
deltalima deltalima
From experience, I would say slow. I dated a really fun and interesting guy just recently. We started fairly fast and it ended before it even took off. Such a shame because he was great.
01/02/2012
chantal coopette chantal coopette
i'd say slow
01/18/2012
Lano4ka Lano4ka
Take it slow, especially coming from such fast relationship
02/28/2012
thisisadeletedaccount thisisadeletedaccount
It really depends on the people, and on your levels of comfort and experience. My first relationship was in high school, and we took things ridiculously slow. We didn't kiss for about three months. In my next relationship we were having sex by that point... It really depends on what you both want and feel ready for.
06/06/2012
gsfanatic gsfanatic
Go with the flow, as long as you feel comfortable. Don't make major commitments until you're sure though.
06/07/2012
pasdechat pasdechat
I'm sure it depends on the individual, but personally, I like to take it slow because I'm slow to develop feelings for someone--I need to feel something for the person before I even feel any true physical attraction. Plus, I'm a bit gun-shy about relationships. I have friends who jump straight into things, though, and I don' think there's anything wrong with it. My only advice would be to think about why you want to take it fast--is it because you feel a real connection to the person, or is it because you just want a relationship/want to make him happy?
06/07/2012
CindyH CindyH
what ever feels right for you
for me i would say slow
06/07/2012
friendswithfangs friendswithfangs
depends on what makes you feel comfortable, but taking things slow would make me feel vastly more comfortable. of course, there's definitely a point at which it's too slow i think!!
11/14/2013
eroticmutt eroticmutt
Quote:
Originally posted by Lavender420
Looking for some good input.
Neither. Whatever makes you two happy, it really depends on the combination of everyone's ideas, personality, and past experience. Sounds like last time worked out well even though you went 'fast' - it lasted three years, that is definitely and LTR.
11/16/2013
CinnamonNights CinnamonNights
I believe in going slow. Fast relationships can turn out well on some occasions, but unless if you know the person well then it'll land you in a ditch. Could end up living with or married to someone who actually turns out to be very controlling, nutty, or just plain mean. However you can go as fast as you are comfortable with, as long as you're safe about it.
11/16/2013
imperialyellowdragon imperialyellowdragon
Quote:
Originally posted by Lavender420
Looking for some good input.
very slow. you don't want to be with the wrong person and find it out when its to LATE like most people. make sure that the person your with is the right one for you. a date is another way of saying interview. that's what it is. a interview. on the first interview there are signs to show if the person is right for you or not. I like a person who talks a lot. if you know how to listen and ask the right questions. it will tell you a lot. anyone can be in a relationship but not everyone is ready. that's the key. go slow.
11/16/2013
Edeneve Edeneve
I have found that taking it fast ends up being a mistake.
11/16/2013
Total posts: 25
Unique posters: 24