Would you be upset if your partner lied to you about watching porn?

Velocity Velocity
My sisters boyfriend lied to her about liking porn a few months ago, and now he's saying he's been watching it for a long time.

Would you be upset?

I personally would be, because he lied about something so little.
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
Yes
39  (51%)
No
17  (22%)
other
20  (26%)
Total votes: 76
Poll is closed
11/03/2012
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deltalima deltalima
Quote:
Originally posted by Velocity
My sisters boyfriend lied to her about liking porn a few months ago, and now he's saying he's been watching it for a long time.

Would you be upset?

I personally would be, because he lied about something so little.
I don't give him a reason to lie, especially about that so I would be irritated he lied about something he doesn't need to.
11/03/2012
luvslukin luvslukin
Did she give him a reason to lie? She may have said something at some point like, "I could never date a guy that watches porn." or given off some other signal that if he wanted to stay in a relationship with her he better not admit it. Not saying he shouldn't have admitted he watched it and let the chips fall where they may, but there may have been some reasons.
11/04/2012
jr2012 jr2012
I would only be cranky that he lied to me in general, no matter what it was about.
11/04/2012
Wolfenisa Wolfenisa
Id be annoyed, we have nothing to hide
11/04/2012
butts butts
I'd be pretty mad, there's no reason for us to hide porn from each other, and I sure don't appreciate the lying. I encourage him to look at porn, why the hell would he lie about it XD
11/04/2012
charletnarouh charletnarouh
Quote:
Originally posted by Velocity
My sisters boyfriend lied to her about liking porn a few months ago, and now he's saying he's been watching it for a long time.

Would you be upset?

I personally would be, because he lied about something so little.
i hope my Partner knows that i wouldn't care if She was watching porn. i especially hope She knows because Wwe've talked about it on numerous occasions! If She did lie about this, i'd be more concerned than anything because it would suggest a major gap in our communication and understanding or something deeper going on. Sounds like they had some kind of communication breakdown somewhere along the line, or she gave him some reason to lie somehow. Seems like she probably, intentionally or not, gave the message that she wouldn't like it if he watched it and so he said what he thought would please her at the time. If no message was telegraphed in any way on her part, maybe he has some shame regarding his porn habit. Either way, it's something that they should probably talk about rather than getting upset or angry.
11/04/2012
dawnkye dawnkye
While I wouldn't be thrilled, I don't think it's something to stay upset about. People can be shy or uncomfortable about telling their partner these things. Maybe the fact that he admitted to liking porn after a while is that he felt he could be more open as time went on?
11/04/2012
sXeVegan90 sXeVegan90
What luvslukin said. ^
11/04/2012
sXeVegan90 sXeVegan90
What luvslukin said. ^
11/04/2012
JessieDawg JessieDawg
In a way yeah cause he has no reason too. WE are so open
11/04/2012
LoooveMonkey LoooveMonkey
I would be upset because he doesn't lie to me. And I don't mind when he watches porn.
11/04/2012
kendra30752 kendra30752
Quote:
Originally posted by Velocity
My sisters boyfriend lied to her about liking porn a few months ago, and now he's saying he's been watching it for a long time.

Would you be upset?

I personally would be, because he lied about something so little.
Bless her heart! Hell yes I'd be upset! Porn is absolutely hated by my partner and I. I have a big problem with it, not an addiction problem, a problem as in I f'n despise it. I hate that it contributes to so many hurting people.

Anyways, obviously porn is a total deal breaker for me. I'd just as soon live happily unmarried and alone with my cats before I even considered a man who had any interest in pornography. I am better than that, I deserve far better and well, I just happen to be one of those women who won't settle for any less.

How a person handles this situation is the most important though. I hope your sister is doing okay though. I'm sorry she's hurting. I know many people see it as petty, but nothing is petty about a hurt heart, and if it hurts, it hurts! You can't help what hurts. While some people may have no problem with pornography being a part of their marriage/relationship, some do and both types should be accepted.

Like I said, I'd be hurt. I HAVE been hurt by pornography. Devastated. Traumatized, in fact. Of course not by pornography's existance alone, but by a person and pornography combined and how they chose to use it to steal, destroy & use me.

Thankfully, the topic of pornography and everything else that would and would not be tolerated by me or my partner was addressed in the very beginning of our relationship. We've been together for 6 years and are stritcly monogamous, and actually totally happy that way. That's okay too! If it so happened that during our beginning times, he expressed diff. views than me on what monogamy is (in our opinion, monogamy is being ONLY for/with each other in every way, and pornography is not part of a monogamous rel.) I'd have turned around to never look back. Most people would think that's crazy, but it's served me & my heart very well.

Now, it'd be really different to have my partner make me believe he was trustworthy and did share the same strong views as I do on pornography, only to go and betray me later on. That is hurtful. That is enough to really do some damage, and it should not be tolerated. Lying is never okay, and you don't lie over something that you know would negatively affect the person you "love."

I hope your sister is able to move past this for her own sake. I hope she chooses what will ultimately make her happiest, and nothing less.

I've been lied to about some things. When you lie about something that a person feels so strongly about, it has devastating affects. I don't know how your sis feels about the use of pornography, but clearly it must have upset her. If someone ever isn't okay with something, they are never wrong to say and to not settle.

Wishing her the best.
11/04/2012
kendra30752 kendra30752
Quote:
Originally posted by charletnarouh
i hope my Partner knows that i wouldn't care if She was watching porn. i especially hope She knows because Wwe've talked about it on numerous occasions! If She did lie about this, i'd be more concerned than anything because it would ... More
..."or she gave him some reason to lie somehow." This I have to kindly disagree about. I feel a lie (no matter what it is over) is never justifiable, and never ever someone else's fault. Showing you're opposed to something is not a reason to lie. There's no excuse for lying. Never.
11/04/2012
hem hem
It wouldn't really be the porn-watching, it'd be that he felt the need to lie to me that'd make me sad.
11/04/2012
Zombirella Zombirella
Yes, I don't want to be lied to about anything.
11/04/2012
apryls apryls
Quote:
Originally posted by Velocity
My sisters boyfriend lied to her about liking porn a few months ago, and now he's saying he's been watching it for a long time.

Would you be upset?

I personally would be, because he lied about something so little.
You need to pick and choose your battles, besides when you're in a relationship everything should be open and honest. There should be no reason to hide anything or lie. I personally let my man watch porn, go to nudy bars etc with or without me.
11/04/2012
RonLee RonLee
Very nearly ALL men look at porn except for Kendra's partner perhaps. I would suspect that Velocity's sister's BF was simply telling his GF exactly what she wanted to hear. And how did she find out that he'd been "lying" to her? Snooping perhaps? Don't snoop, you very well find something that you wish you hadn't.
My suggestion to that sister's BF, thank her for finally revealing that she's bat shit crazy and get the fuck out!
11/04/2012
- Kira - - Kira -
Yes, but because of the lying. I don't deal with lying well. The porn isn't really the issue here.
11/04/2012
RonLee RonLee
Quote:
Originally posted by - Kira -
Yes, but because of the lying. I don't deal with lying well. The porn isn't really the issue here.
Often setting unreasonable demands is setting one up to be lied to.
11/04/2012
Sima-pusya Sima-pusya
Yes
11/04/2012
PropertyOfPotter PropertyOfPotter
Quote:
Originally posted by luvslukin
Did she give him a reason to lie? She may have said something at some point like, "I could never date a guy that watches porn." or given off some other signal that if he wanted to stay in a relationship with her he better not admit it. Not ... More
That's something along the lines of what I was going to say. If she made him feel like he needed to lie about it, than the issue is less of a concern, but if he was just lying about it, than it would be an issue.
11/04/2012
Zandrock Zandrock
A little that she had lied, but not about the porn part. I wouldnt care about that at all.
11/04/2012
llellsee llellsee
I'd be upset at being lied to, no matter what its about.
11/04/2012
RonLee RonLee
Quote:
Originally posted by llellsee
I'd be upset at being lied to, no matter what its about.
Really? How about if you weren't feeling quite as attractive as usual but your lover told you that you looked beautiful nevertheless?
We all tell little lies every day.

Oh and btw you should have used "it's" rather than its.
It's = It is
It's = It has (not possessive)
Its indicates possessive.
11/04/2012
js250 js250
I would wonder if he was feeling okay--but not be upset. He knows I do not care and has never hidden that he watches it--we now watch together. When we watch separately, we will ask if the 'movie' was a good one....and smile. It is pretty fun to be so open about our entertainment.
11/04/2012
bottled-diva bottled-diva
I would mostly want to reassure him that it's ok. He was probably lying because he didn't want to get in trouble. I feel that getting upset would only emphasize that and make him less likely to open up in future. Sexual expression can be a very sensitive subject. Allowing the communication to be open without judgments lends to a better relationship.
11/04/2012
bayosgirl bayosgirl
Lying in general really upsets me. It makes me wonder what else they're hiding.
11/04/2012
BlooJay BlooJay
Quote:
Originally posted by bayosgirl
Lying in general really upsets me. It makes me wonder what else they're hiding.
Yes, I think this is the main thing.
11/04/2012
Redweird Redweird
It's the fact that he lied that would bother me. Even little things like that really break my trust
11/04/2012
Total posts: 73
Unique posters: 64