..ever NOT lead to more? Does it bother you if/when it doesn't, or are you okay with it? Does your partner ever give you one only to have you not be interested in anything more? How do they seem to feel about it?
Does an erotic massage ever not lead to more?
03/19/2013
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This is a very interesting question. I had to ponder it for a moment.
Well...I recently bought that chai tea massage oil you have and I think that most of the time that stuff comes out an erotic massage leads to more.
However, there are a fair amount of times that it doesn't. My partner is attentive and stimulating, but he can usually tell that even if I am aroused, it might just be a day when all I need is that massage and it is good enough for me. He never seems to be offended and if I tell him why "more" isn't happening at the moment, he is okay with it. He would rather have me be fully in the moment than just complying and it is a rare thing and so he respects my wishes.
I think I've been lucky to have that with him.
On his end, I don't want to speak for him, but he always jokes that he will always want "X" (whatever X is), but it isn't always true for him. Sometimes he is just exhausted and says so, but still appreciates the erotic massage. We just focus and enjoy each others company and exploring our bodies and he is okay with that (those are his words).
Even if either one of us is frustrated, the most important thing we try to focus on is even having time to be together alone and so we always find something else to do, like watch a movie, play some cards, cuddle or whatever.
Well...I recently bought that chai tea massage oil you have and I think that most of the time that stuff comes out an erotic massage leads to more.
However, there are a fair amount of times that it doesn't. My partner is attentive and stimulating, but he can usually tell that even if I am aroused, it might just be a day when all I need is that massage and it is good enough for me. He never seems to be offended and if I tell him why "more" isn't happening at the moment, he is okay with it. He would rather have me be fully in the moment than just complying and it is a rare thing and so he respects my wishes.
I think I've been lucky to have that with him.
On his end, I don't want to speak for him, but he always jokes that he will always want "X" (whatever X is), but it isn't always true for him. Sometimes he is just exhausted and says so, but still appreciates the erotic massage. We just focus and enjoy each others company and exploring our bodies and he is okay with that (those are his words).
Even if either one of us is frustrated, the most important thing we try to focus on is even having time to be together alone and so we always find something else to do, like watch a movie, play some cards, cuddle or whatever.
03/19/2013
I think if it is an "erotic" massage it almost has to lead to more.. but I can give a massage with no intentions also.
03/19/2013
We're pretty up front. A back or body rub is what most people consider a massage. For us massage is code for erotic massage and always leads to sex.
03/20/2013
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I do agree that it is hard to think of it not leading to more, but often couples who have trouble with variety in their intimate relationship are encouraged to give things like an erotic massage, but not let it lead to more. It is away of inducing another state of being with your partner that then is allowed to build up over a few days for an explosive night or whatever you want to call it.
Originally posted by
MrWill
I think if it is an "erotic" massage it almost has to lead to more.. but I can give a massage with no intentions also.
So, I think that it is important that we can be flexible about the end result of certain erotic things.
03/20/2013
If it's an erotic massage that doesn't go anywhere, I think it's called a "massage".
03/21/2013
Quote:
hehe
Originally posted by
El-Jaro
If it's an erotic massage that doesn't go anywhere, I think it's called a "massage".
03/21/2013
i am a very sexual person (aren't we all?), it is exceptionally rare for me to ever "turn down" sex. i love getting a massage and it has always always led to sex. aside from one time, and only one time where i was so absolutely exhausted that i fell asleep draped chest down across his lap while he rubbed my back
03/21/2013
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I think that I would be too frustrated if the massage didn't lead to more unless it came after we'd just had sex. That's really not very likely to ever happen, because we tend to tucker each other out, but I'd definitely be up for being massaged without it going somewhere once it had already gone somewhere. I don't know if that is going to make sense, because it kind of seems like cheating, but since it wouldn't ever actually come to pass anyways, I suppose that it's not too big of a deal. I am always horny and up for more, but I understand than men have a refractory period, so I'm used to things not going where I want them to sometimes and it doesn't really bother me anymore.
Originally posted by
PropertyOfPotter
..ever NOT lead to more? Does it bother you if/when it doesn't, or are you okay with it? Does your partner ever give you one only to have you not be interested in anything more? How do they seem to feel about it?
03/21/2013
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That was my line of thought.. lol
Originally posted by
El-Jaro
If it's an erotic massage that doesn't go anywhere, I think it's called a "massage".
03/21/2013
I have had and given massages that did not lead anywhere. I won't get upset if it does not either.
03/21/2013
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You can do things erotically with/to your partner and not have it lead to something else.
Originally posted by
El-Jaro
If it's an erotic massage that doesn't go anywhere, I think it's called a "massage".
There have been many times that I've given an erotic massage to my husband and he ended up being too relaxed for more. I'm not just talking about a back rub. I'm talking about setting the whole scene and touching your partner in an erotic manner.
You can give a massage that's arousing without it ending up leading to more than that. Doesn't take away from the fact that it was erotic.
03/21/2013
Quote:
Hear hear!
Originally posted by
PropertyOfPotter
You can do things erotically with/to your partner and not have it lead to something else.
There have been many times that I've given an erotic massage to my husband and he ended up being too relaxed for more. I'm not just talking ... more
There have been many times that I've given an erotic massage to my husband and he ended up being too relaxed for more. I'm not just talking ... more
You can do things erotically with/to your partner and not have it lead to something else.
There have been many times that I've given an erotic massage to my husband and he ended up being too relaxed for more. I'm not just talking about a back rub. I'm talking about setting the whole scene and touching your partner in an erotic manner.
You can give a massage that's arousing without it ending up leading to more than that. Doesn't take away from the fact that it was erotic. less
There have been many times that I've given an erotic massage to my husband and he ended up being too relaxed for more. I'm not just talking about a back rub. I'm talking about setting the whole scene and touching your partner in an erotic manner.
You can give a massage that's arousing without it ending up leading to more than that. Doesn't take away from the fact that it was erotic. less
As I said, it is a usually part of sex therapy for couples to stop at the erotic massage as a build up for later in the week.
03/21/2013
Erotic massage does not always lead to sex. I tried it on my hubby after I had watched an erotic massage porn. Since he is impedent and for some reason has no desire any longer it didn't work. I could not even get him to try and massage me. I keep trying suttle and not so suttle hints what I want and he is stone cold deaf to it. Told me to find someone else. I guess after 46 years of marriage he is just too tired and beaten down with life.
03/24/2013
it doesn't always lead to sex. sometimes we give massages after sex. it's more about the relaxation than the arousal.
04/03/2013
Total posts: 15
Unique posters: 10