Does an erotic massage ever not lead to more?

PropertyOfPotter PropertyOfPotter
..ever NOT lead to more? Does it bother you if/when it doesn't, or are you okay with it? Does your partner ever give you one only to have you not be interested in anything more? How do they seem to feel about it?
03/19/2013
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Ayumi Ayumi
This is a very interesting question. I had to ponder it for a moment.
Well...I recently bought that chai tea massage oil you have and I think that most of the time that stuff comes out an erotic massage leads to more.
However, there are a fair amount of times that it doesn't. My partner is attentive and stimulating, but he can usually tell that even if I am aroused, it might just be a day when all I need is that massage and it is good enough for me. He never seems to be offended and if I tell him why "more" isn't happening at the moment, he is okay with it. He would rather have me be fully in the moment than just complying and it is a rare thing and so he respects my wishes.

I think I've been lucky to have that with him.
On his end, I don't want to speak for him, but he always jokes that he will always want "X" (whatever X is), but it isn't always true for him. Sometimes he is just exhausted and says so, but still appreciates the erotic massage. We just focus and enjoy each others company and exploring our bodies and he is okay with that (those are his words).

Even if either one of us is frustrated, the most important thing we try to focus on is even having time to be together alone and so we always find something else to do, like watch a movie, play some cards, cuddle or whatever.
03/19/2013
MrWill MrWill
I think if it is an "erotic" massage it almost has to lead to more.. but I can give a massage with no intentions also.
03/19/2013
Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
We're pretty up front. A back or body rub is what most people consider a massage. For us massage is code for erotic massage and always leads to sex.
03/20/2013
Ayumi Ayumi
Quote:
Originally posted by MrWill
I think if it is an "erotic" massage it almost has to lead to more.. but I can give a massage with no intentions also.
I do agree that it is hard to think of it not leading to more, but often couples who have trouble with variety in their intimate relationship are encouraged to give things like an erotic massage, but not let it lead to more. It is away of inducing another state of being with your partner that then is allowed to build up over a few days for an explosive night or whatever you want to call it.

So, I think that it is important that we can be flexible about the end result of certain erotic things.
03/20/2013
El-Jaro El-Jaro
If it's an erotic massage that doesn't go anywhere, I think it's called a "massage".
03/21/2013
raffi raffi
Quote:
Originally posted by El-Jaro
If it's an erotic massage that doesn't go anywhere, I think it's called a "massage".
hehe
03/21/2013
raffi raffi
i am a very sexual person (aren't we all?), it is exceptionally rare for me to ever "turn down" sex. i love getting a massage and it has always always led to sex. aside from one time, and only one time where i was so absolutely exhausted that i fell asleep draped chest down across his lap while he rubbed my back
03/21/2013
surreptitious surreptitious
Quote:
Originally posted by PropertyOfPotter
..ever NOT lead to more? Does it bother you if/when it doesn't, or are you okay with it? Does your partner ever give you one only to have you not be interested in anything more? How do they seem to feel about it?
I think that I would be too frustrated if the massage didn't lead to more unless it came after we'd just had sex. That's really not very likely to ever happen, because we tend to tucker each other out, but I'd definitely be up for being massaged without it going somewhere once it had already gone somewhere. I don't know if that is going to make sense, because it kind of seems like cheating, but since it wouldn't ever actually come to pass anyways, I suppose that it's not too big of a deal. I am always horny and up for more, but I understand than men have a refractory period, so I'm used to things not going where I want them to sometimes and it doesn't really bother me anymore.
03/21/2013
MrWill MrWill
Quote:
Originally posted by El-Jaro
If it's an erotic massage that doesn't go anywhere, I think it's called a "massage".
That was my line of thought.. lol
03/21/2013
PeaceToTheMiddleEast PeaceToTheMiddleEast
I have had and given massages that did not lead anywhere. I won't get upset if it does not either.
03/21/2013
PropertyOfPotter PropertyOfPotter
Quote:
Originally posted by El-Jaro
If it's an erotic massage that doesn't go anywhere, I think it's called a "massage".
You can do things erotically with/to your partner and not have it lead to something else.

There have been many times that I've given an erotic massage to my husband and he ended up being too relaxed for more. I'm not just talking about a back rub. I'm talking about setting the whole scene and touching your partner in an erotic manner.

You can give a massage that's arousing without it ending up leading to more than that. Doesn't take away from the fact that it was erotic.
03/21/2013
Ayumi Ayumi
Quote:
Originally posted by PropertyOfPotter
You can do things erotically with/to your partner and not have it lead to something else.

There have been many times that I've given an erotic massage to my husband and he ended up being too relaxed for more. I'm not just talking ... More
Hear hear!
As I said, it is a usually part of sex therapy for couples to stop at the erotic massage as a build up for later in the week.
03/21/2013
unicorn64 unicorn64
Erotic massage does not always lead to sex. I tried it on my hubby after I had watched an erotic massage porn. Since he is impedent and for some reason has no desire any longer it didn't work. I could not even get him to try and massage me. I keep trying suttle and not so suttle hints what I want and he is stone cold deaf to it. Told me to find someone else. I guess after 46 years of marriage he is just too tired and beaten down with life.
03/24/2013
kaylajoy89 kaylajoy89
it doesn't always lead to sex. sometimes we give massages after sex. it's more about the relaxation than the arousal.
04/03/2013
Total posts: 15
Unique posters: 10