Could you?

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Could you?

Carrie Ann Carrie Ann
In reading this article, though there is so much more to it, my brain got stuck on the fact that L. Jade was with her partner for seven years before they "went all the way".

Could you wait that long? Would all the steps to getting there be enough for you?

I've given a lot of thought to what would happen if either Taylor or I stopped being able to have penetrative sex but, somehow, that's different to me than not starting to have said penetrative sex. I don't know if I could do it.

Then again...

Man, do I miss the days when I didn't, sometimes. That fabulous feeling of being so worked up and finding other ways to please each other, of being madly excited by the smaller things we often skip once we hit the home run.

I'm babbling.

Someone else babble now, k?
06/05/2009
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wendiana wendiana
Quote:
Originally posted by Carrie Ann
In reading this article, though there is so much more to it, my brain got stuck on the fact that L. Jade was with her partner for seven years before they "went all the way".

Could you wait that long? Would all the steps to getting ...
Could I? Hells no. I couldn't wait until I was 15...but I should have. Teenagers should not have sex (especially since I have an almost 16 yr old daughter.) lol

With my b/f now, we tortured each other for a month before we went all the way. It was a fun month, but I was oh-my-god-GIVE IT TO ME before I DIE many, many times.
There are times he'll tell me we're not gonna & just make out like horny teenagers and that feeling comes right back. The only thing missing is the nervousness & crazy thoughts of 'will he still love me tomorrow?', 'am I good enough?' drama in my head. I can live without that. lol.
06/05/2009
Adriana Ravenlust Adriana Ravenlust
Could I abstain? Probably. I think it would take a combination of factors - like someone who also wanted to. Someone who would appreciate other activities. A really good relationship in general. I mean in general, sex is a good thing, so why wouldn't I want to have it? So the rest of the relationship would have to be so mind blowingly great that I never thought about sex. Someone who appreciate toys. I mean, other activities besides intercourse are enjoyable and can be the highlight rather than penetration. I know what you mean, Carrie Ann about getting all worked up and sometimes I miss that.

I guess my definition of abstinence generally means no sexual activity. And I do think the author forgot one thing - just because you wait doesn't mean it will be an amazingly first PIV experience. It can still be a train wreck. I mean, I like to think I do all those steps, maybe not all of them all the time, but you certainly don't need to be abstinent to include them.
06/05/2009
Backseat Boohoo Backseat Boohoo
I haven't had sex since the beginning of December, and it's been by choice as I attempt to start a meaningful relationship. The problem is, I'm just about going insane from it. So I suppose I definitely COULD go without sex (because I'm going without it right now), but I definitely WOULD NOT enjoy it (because I'm not enjoying it right now).
06/05/2009
Sammi Sammi
My husband and I managed to hold off about 2 weeks when we first met. Longer than that? Nope. Couldn't do it.
06/05/2009
Average Joe Average Joe
I went a year and a half without sex. The night I met my wife I ended up having sex with her breaking my no-sex streak.

I can wait if there isn't anyone special in my life, however if someone enters my life, I have absolutely no willpower.
06/05/2009
Boxers Over Briefs Boxers Over Briefs
Definitely for the right person. I gave up sex for three months while waiting for a (now ex) girlfriend to get comfortable with losing her virginity... in college. But it was definitely worth it; not for the mediocre sex that came afterward, but for the relationship.
06/05/2009
Carrie Ann Carrie Ann
Quote:
Originally posted by wendiana
Could I? Hells no. I couldn't wait until I was 15...but I should have. Teenagers should not have sex (especially since I have an almost 16 yr old daughter.) lol

With my b/f now, we tortured each other for a month before we went all the ...
Heh. I hear ya on the couldn't wait then, can't wait now thing.

Though...

I think if I had a religious or moral or even health reason, I could do it. So long as, like Adraina said, I had a good relationship with a partner who shared the same reason.
06/05/2009
LicentiouslyYours LicentiouslyYours
Quote:
Originally posted by Carrie Ann
Heh. I hear ya on the couldn't wait then, can't wait now thing.

Though...

I think if I had a religious or moral or even health reason, I could do it. So long as, like Adraina said, I had a good relationship with a partner who ...
My ex-husband and I dated for a year before we had sex. Not because I wanted to wait, but because he was a virgin (at 21). It really had to be up to him to decide when or if we had sex.

Personally, I'm not good at waiting, but intellectually I don't feel like I should be having penetrative sex with someone until I know them well enough to predict how they will behave afterward, if their sexual history is risky and the all important: what kind of father will he be if I should get pregnant. Condoms do break, after all. Anyway, all that stuff takes time to figure out. In the mean time, oral sex for everyone!

Told ya, I am no good at waiting.
06/05/2009
imp imp
Whne you don't have it sometimes you don't know what you are missing. For many years I did the whole sex thing without a thought, meaningless sex was a common thing nowdays my outlook has changed. I also did not lose my virginity until I was 23, plenty of intimate relationships before then and lotsa exploring and finding things we could do without having penetrative sex. It can be a very fulfilling journey believe it or not. And hell these days toys can be a major fun trip too with or without a partner.

I am in a poly relationship with a female and a male, the relationship with a female is not sexual, both of us are not interested in exploring the sexual side of things with each other but we have a huge amount of love for each other which extends to sensual touch, massage etc, sensation play.

The male and I are abstaining and exploring intimacy and touch, sensation play, getting to know eacj other on a more intimate level and spending time together. Do I want it to go further ... hell yes, sex is great, I love sex. Does he? Hell yes but we both want to take this slowly and carefully as with a poly dynamic there is not just two people involved. For me this is a very different approach to a relationship for me, this time round I am taking my time. It's a relationship that has commitment, intimacy and a hell of alot of love.

To alot of people they just don't get it but it works for all of us, there are so many different ways of doing things alot of the time people do bypass the basics to get to the sex part. This time I am really enjoying exploring more deeper intimate sides of myself and my partners without the "sex" component. That will come later down the track. Lucky we are all sensation sluts huh?

I still have the option of finding a sexual play partner if that is what I want/need .. right now I am happy with where I am at. The hardest thing which I find more annoying than anything is people assuming that we should be having sex just well, because. I don't do peer pressure lol.
06/05/2009
Chilipepper Chilipepper
I spent TEN YEARS in a sexless marriage. Before that, I could count all my experiences on one hand. None were noteworthy.

For the two months since our separation, I've had a half-dozen very satisfying trysts with my best friend/boyfriend.

Yes, you can live without sex when you don't know what you're missing. Now I can hardly wait for my weekly hoppi-hoppa because it's good for my body and soul.

Besides, I was a total bitch when I was married, now people tell me I'm more mellow. ^_^
01/03/2010
sbremer sbremer
Quote:
Originally posted by Carrie Ann
In reading this article, though there is so much more to it, my brain got stuck on the fact that L. Jade was with her partner for seven years before they "went all the way".

Could you wait that long? Would all the steps to getting ...
I don't think I could wait that long, but I am nearly 22 and still a virgin, and I feel that I'm very well educated about sex. I'm naturally curious, and always asking questions about it.
01/21/2010
xchairitycasex xchairitycasex
I could do it i made my Boyfriend wait almost 2 years before doing anything but our relationship started out slow anyways it was almost 2 months before he even got a first kiss.
But i was 17 and he was my first boyfriend,first kiss,first holding hands first everything so yeh it would have been very easy for me and it still would im not hung up on sex.
02/28/2010
Tuesday Tuesday
I would wonder whether the person was really very much like me if they wanted to wait that long. Is he conservative? Is he gay?

I don't normally wait very long. I only waited through dinner and two drinks with my husband.
02/28/2010
m&dlove m&dlove
Quote:
Originally posted by Carrie Ann
In reading this article, though there is so much more to it, my brain got stuck on the fact that L. Jade was with her partner for seven years before they "went all the way".

Could you wait that long? Would all the steps to getting ...
good topic! I am way way to much sexual to wait on anything especially when it comes to sex! My Husband and I tried to wait due to trying to do a courtship thing before we got married. It did not last at all! First meet and in the sac right away. I was like 16 before I had sex. After that I went crazy. Been crazy ever since!
02/28/2010
Alicia Alicia
Well, there is a lot of merit to what L. Jade is saying about getting to know each other's bodies and I think that if people waited to have sex until they were truly ready then their first experience would be a lot better then most end up being. Not that I would or could ever have waited 7 years in a relationship before having sex for the first time but when I was a teen if I had waited longer with "my first" before he became that first then my first experience would have been a lot more memorable and enjoyable then it actually was.

That being said..my husband and I waited one month and that was a long time for both of us..and there was a lot of build up to it and I have to say that first time was mind blowing. Now, it could have been that we waited or it could just be that he's the best lover I've ever had and he could have blown me away if we had sex on our very first date..either/or

I also think that even without abstaining for long periods of time a couple can take a step back and get back to the basics of sensuality and not focus on intercourse being the main event. A lot of time my husband and I will have tons of foreplay and lovey dovey make out sessions and even though we end up with sex that wasn't the main purpose of the time spent..if I'm making any sense...
05/23/2010
Persephone's Addiction Persephone's Addiction
Quote:
Originally posted by Carrie Ann
In reading this article, though there is so much more to it, my brain got stuck on the fact that L. Jade was with her partner for seven years before they "went all the way".

Could you wait that long? Would all the steps to getting ...
No way. In fact, "waiting" was never really an issue for me. I was raised in a pagan household where I was taught that as long as it's what you want, and your partner wants, go for it. I really, really liked this guy and I was really turned on by him, so I had sex with him. First guy I ever even kissed.
Abstaining from sex has always seemed really strange to me, probably because I wasn't raised with the idea that sex was something to abstain from. As soon as the opportunity to have sex arose, I took it!! lol But, I was ready, so that's serendipitous.
Sex has always been a part of my relationships.
05/24/2010
Lustful Dreams Lustful Dreams
I can barely last a few days without let alone years.

I do agree with you though - I miss that heavy petting, touching, playing, and lust you have when you first get in to a relationship. The teasing for hours and the waiting until you guys finally do it.

*daydreams* Ahh, yes. I miss these days. I've been in a relationship with my fiance over five years (longest relationship yet) and I really don't think I could go without sex for long periods of time. We tried it, I caved.
05/24/2010
Dame Saphir Dame Saphir
I waited only til I was 16. And even then my boyfriend and I had only been together 6 months when we decided to do it for the first time. And since then, the longest I've gone without having sex has been about a month, and only that long because I went away for a month while I was dating someone, and then the second time was in between boyfriends. :X

I would not be able to last that long. My hormones and my libido would take over at some point.
05/25/2010
pinkzombie pinkzombie
Quote:
Originally posted by Carrie Ann
In reading this article, though there is so much more to it, my brain got stuck on the fact that L. Jade was with her partner for seven years before they "went all the way".

Could you wait that long? Would all the steps to getting ...
I could not wait that long. Sex is part of the relationship and without it to me the relationship is incomplete.
12/05/2010
Shellz31 Shellz31
NO WAY! I'd go nutz!
12/05/2010
danesgoddess danesgoddess
Quote:
Originally posted by Carrie Ann
In reading this article, though there is so much more to it, my brain got stuck on the fact that L. Jade was with her partner for seven years before they "went all the way".

Could you wait that long? Would all the steps to getting ...
What a fabulous concept!!!! That could be an interesting experiment for some of us....that could work...u know, like...say for a 2 week period not have penetrative sex with your partner....think of the possibilities???
12/06/2010
Teaser Teaser
Man, does this bring back memories! My GF (now wife) and I went a LONG time before we had penetrative sex, partly because she was very much afraid of an unwanted pregnancy. You see, "back in the day" a woman could only be on the pill for about three years before it became unsafe, and she wanted a commitment first, and I guess I can't blame her. Neither of us considered condoms safe, so we just waited. From the time I first finally got into her panties (we were 18-ish I think) until the time I hit the home run, was about 5 years I think. We did find some creative ways and places to take care of business in those 5 years! Maybe that's why I'm so good at foreplay. (Her words, not mine, but based on her reactions...)

Now if we go to long, I get cranky! LOL About a week is my limit.
12/15/2010
PussyGalore PussyGalore
Quote:
Originally posted by Carrie Ann
In reading this article, though there is so much more to it, my brain got stuck on the fact that L. Jade was with her partner for seven years before they "went all the way".

Could you wait that long? Would all the steps to getting ...
The only way I could see this working in my life is if I had major goals that would be disrupted by a sexual relationship. And the only one coming to mind at the moment is becoming a nun. Haha!
12/15/2010
RemusHalifax RemusHalifax
I'm still a virgin, so I'll put my two cents in.
I probably won't wait seven years before I have sex, but I know I'm definitely not ready for it now. At this point in my life, I don't want to risk pregnancy and emotional scarring. (I've had issues with relationships in the past that I'm trying to work through them.) Also, I want my first time to be special, something I can look back on way later on in life and say, "Damn, that was good."
Luckily, I have a boyfriend who's willing to wait and I appreciate that endlessly. We've talked about waiting, when might be the best time, why I don't want to know and other things like that and he respects that not only will he have to wait until I'm emotionally ready to have sex, but that I might want to wait until I have very serious commitment.
All that being said, I think sex is a beautiful thing and I'm excited for the day when it'll be part of my life. However, I'm not incomplete without it and my lust is nothing masturbation and fooling around won't cure. Just because I'm not having sex, doesn't mean I won't try just about everything else.

WALL-O'-TEXT COMPLETE
12/15/2010
Total posts: 25
Unique posters: 24