Husband only likes foreplay his way

CRAZYSEXYONE CRAZYSEXYONE
I love my husband to death, but when it comes to foreplay we are lacking at least foreplay that is thrown my may (oral sex). I am always the one giving does anyone one know of anyways i could get my husband to reciprocate the favor? Any tricks or comments will be appreciated thanks.
05/28/2012
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Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
The obvious answer is that you have to talk to him about it - and gently guide him towards the things you like. You may have to be more aggressive. Instead of just giving him head - flip around and go 69 - it's a not so subtle hint!
05/28/2012
Peggi Peggi
I agree with Gunsmoke. Also, if talking doesn't help, holding out usually does

I lucked out with my husband, because he is more concerned with pleasing me than having me please him, but I had an ex who wanted to be on the receiving end only, and it was frustrating. When talking didn't work, I got to the point where I figured hey, if he wants it badly enough, he'll compromise if I don't give him a choice, and it worked!
05/29/2012
PropertyOfPotter PropertyOfPotter
I think if you can't talk with him about it, there are some pretty sexy ways of getting him intersted in taking care of you....saying something like, "I need your mouth on me." "when you're finished with me, I'm going to blow your mind" I know for my man and I, it turns him on to know that I'm thinking about going down on him while he's going down on me. Does he not realize that you're needing that from him, or is he just lazy about it?
05/29/2012
CRAZYSEXYONE CRAZYSEXYONE
Quote:
Originally posted by PropertyOfPotter
I think if you can't talk with him about it, there are some pretty sexy ways of getting him intersted in taking care of you....saying something like, "I need your mouth on me." "when you're finished with me, I'm going to ... More
wouldn't say lazy, lol but its bot getting dine even though i tell him....lol i guess its never been a real big thing with him =(..lol
05/29/2012
CRAZYSEXYONE CRAZYSEXYONE
Quote:
Originally posted by Peggi
I agree with Gunsmoke. Also, if talking doesn't help, holding out usually does

I lucked out with my husband, because he is more concerned with pleasing me than having me please him, but I had an ex who wanted to be on the receiving end ... More
lol yeah Peggi that's what i'm doing now...lol we will see how long it takes
05/29/2012
CRAZYSEXYONE CRAZYSEXYONE
Quote:
Originally posted by Gunsmoke
The obvious answer is that you have to talk to him about it - and gently guide him towards the things you like. You may have to be more aggressive. Instead of just giving him head - flip around and go 69 - it's a not so subtle hint!
will have to try that
05/29/2012
P'Gell P'Gell
When your partner respects you, he cares about your pleasure.

When did this selfish behavior start?

Was he doing what you needed to get to your orgasm, and giving you enough time before?

Did things change after the wedding? (In other words does he think he doesn't have to try now that he has you in a situation where it would be difficult for you to get it from someone who DOES care?)

Did he stop giving you what you needed recently?

Was he always a selfish lover? If so, did you think things would magically change?

WHERE and WHEN did he get so selfish? Or was he always this way? IF he was always this way, you have a LOT of thinking to do.....
05/29/2012
BBW Talks Toys BBW Talks Toys
Quote:
Originally posted by Peggi
I agree with Gunsmoke. Also, if talking doesn't help, holding out usually does

I lucked out with my husband, because he is more concerned with pleasing me than having me please him, but I had an ex who wanted to be on the receiving end ... More
I would not advocate this. Holding out on sex to manipulate a situation is kind of low and will generally cause more problems than it fixes. He's an ex for a reason, right?

To the OP: Open and honest communication about your sexual needs is, really, the only mature and productive way to get what you need. If he isn't concerned with your sexual pleasure, then you might want to find out why. Sexual relationships are about mutual pleasure and if he wants to be in a mature, sexual relationship, he needs to act maturely.
05/29/2012
Beck Beck
Quote:
Originally posted by CRAZYSEXYONE
wouldn't say lazy, lol but its bot getting dine even though i tell him....lol i guess its never been a real big thing with him =(..lol
"i guess its never been a real big thing with him =(..lol "

If it's never been a real big thing with him, then he most likely doesn't think it's important, doesn't want to do it, or doesn't like it. You NEED to talk to him. But don't corner him saying things like your selfish lover, you never care about my pleasure, and so on. You need to do it in a way that doesn't hurt his ego.

Also, like gunsmoke suggested 69. When I'm trying to be sneaky about hinting I want oral, I go for 69. He will usually be laying on the bed and I'll put my head down by his feet and my feet by his head. Then I start oral sex, but touch myself at the same time. Usually that makes him dive right in. Maybe you can try that?
05/29/2012
P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by Beck
"i guess its never been a real big thing with him =(..lol "

If it's never been a real big thing with him, then he most likely doesn't think it's important, doesn't want to do it, or doesn't like it. You NEED to ... More
I agree with part of what you are saying, Beck. But sometimes you need to label a behavior, or the perpetrator gets off Scott Free.

Selfish behavior should be identified, IMO. Not in a "YOU do this." way but in a "I need to have fun in bed too, and when you act selfishly, by thinking you are the only one who gets to have an orgasm during sex, it hurts me."

I'm kind of thinking if "He never thought it was a big thing for him." (being caring in bed?) then WHY did this relationship go forward? Was there magical thinking involved? The If I do this, he's "change" kind of thing, and those of us in long term relationships know we can't "change" anybody but ourselves.
05/29/2012
CRAZYSEXYONE CRAZYSEXYONE
see the thing about it is he told me to wait till we got married so I thought i was going to be gettimg it. but i should have not listened i kinda knew in the back of my head i guess it was never going to change been with him 7 years I guess i shouldn't expect things to change over night but we have been married for a year...lol
05/29/2012
BBW Talks Toys BBW Talks Toys
Quote:
Originally posted by CRAZYSEXYONE
see the thing about it is he told me to wait till we got married so I thought i was going to be gettimg it. but i should have not listened i kinda knew in the back of my head i guess it was never going to change been with him 7 years I guess i ... More
My brain just exploded.

He asked you to wait until you were married for oral sex?!?!

05/29/2012
CRAZYSEXYONE CRAZYSEXYONE
Quote:
Originally posted by BBW Talks Toys
My brain just exploded.

He asked you to wait until you were married for oral sex?!?!

yeah i guess i was a fool not to smart. i guess i really sound like it to never really thought about it till i started talking about it
05/30/2012
Mr. Tickle and Giggle Mr. Tickle and Giggle
Quote:
Originally posted by CRAZYSEXYONE
I love my husband to death, but when it comes to foreplay we are lacking at least foreplay that is thrown my may (oral sex). I am always the one giving does anyone one know of anyways i could get my husband to reciprocate the favor? Any tricks or ... More
i would be strait forward with him because you no sometimes as guys we cant take a hint.Tell him that you don't like being the only one going oral when foreplay
06/01/2012
CRAZYSEXYONE CRAZYSEXYONE
Quote:
Originally posted by Mr. Tickle and Giggle
i would be strait forward with him because you no sometimes as guys we cant take a hint.Tell him that you don't like being the only one going oral when foreplay
thanks yeah I think that might be the thing to do, thats where everyone is pointing me thanks for the responds
06/02/2012
P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by BBW Talks Toys
My brain just exploded.

He asked you to wait until you were married for oral sex?!?!

I had the same reaction. Mine would have been to boot him to the curb when he mentioned this.

So, CSO (The OP) you didn't have oral sex for seven years? Did he get oral sex from you? Were you having PIV sex?

How did it just "not occur" to you? I'm a little flabbergasted here. My sex life is one of the most important things in my life and nothing goes without being thought about. Hon, what were you thinking about those seven years?

You have to sit this boy down and have a talk with him. Hell, this bullshit he pulled on you might even be grounds for an annulment (I don't know this for sure, but it seems VERY dishonest and manipulative of him.)
06/02/2012
Nirelan Nirelan
Honestly I just tell my guy to give me head lol I usually make sure its right after a shower and he KNOWS I just got out of the shower, just in case he has any qualms about doing it...its getting hot out now and I feel more comfy knowing everything is fresh down there as well lol.
06/03/2012
CRAZYSEXYONE CRAZYSEXYONE
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
I had the same reaction. Mine would have been to boot him to the curb when he mentioned this.

So, CSO (The OP) you didn't have oral sex for seven years? Did he get oral sex from you? Were you having PIV sex?

How did it just ... More
for the first couple years i guess I was just out to keep him happy. but then that grew old and the urge crept in. I started to ask and thats when he said when we get married. then we got married and it wasn't till our year anniversary that i got it that was in April the one and only time. he will play just not oral. it hasn't really gotten to me till lately guess more time to think about it. I have not been into it that much lately
06/04/2012
Total posts: 19
Unique posters: 9