Is it greedy to ask for foreplay?

Illusional Illusional
My boyfriend spends a lot of time focusing on my clit, but I'm way way way more sensitive on my nipples, I hear a lot of women complaining that their men don't give oral in general, so should I be one to bitch about it not being the right kind for me? I mean, I love having my clit played with and eaten out, but... my nipples are always ultra-sensitive and I'd love for him to play with them. I've been told maybe to invest in some nipple clamps and let him divert his attention elsewhere. Any ideas?
06/14/2010
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TacoODoom TacoODoom
Quote:
Originally posted by Illusional
My boyfriend spends a lot of time focusing on my clit, but I'm way way way more sensitive on my nipples, I hear a lot of women complaining that their men don't give oral in general, so should I be one to bitch about it not being the right ... More
of course you should discuss your desires, communication is the secret to mind blowing orgasms
06/14/2010
Alicia Alicia
Quote:
Originally posted by Illusional
My boyfriend spends a lot of time focusing on my clit, but I'm way way way more sensitive on my nipples, I hear a lot of women complaining that their men don't give oral in general, so should I be one to bitch about it not being the right ... More
Open communication is always the best policy when it comes to sex. Maybe he just doesn't realize how much you'd enjoy nipple play. Don't look at it as complaining, it's not that you don't like what he's doing..you just want some additional attention elsewhere, you could even make it sexy by telling him how much you'd love him to play with them and how hot it makes you. Just keep it light and fun and I don't think he'll take it as complaining.
06/14/2010
Victoria Victoria
I don't think it's selfish to ask for or mention what you like. It's a good idea to check in with him about what he likes too. Make it a two-way conversation and it'll be win/win.
06/14/2010
Ciao. Ciao.
There's nothing greedy about it. Presumably your boyfriend wants you to be pleased, so encourage him to focus on everything, maybe he just thinks the clit is the way to go...and needs a little prodding to do more. I know I would never be offended by a partner asking for more/different types of foreplay!
06/14/2010
El-Jaro El-Jaro
Quote:
Originally posted by TacoODoom
of course you should discuss your desires, communication is the secret to mind blowing orgasms
I agree with the Taco of Doom (I've always wanted to say that).

Open communication is a wonderful thing. Once he founds out you like one more than the other...you could get both!
06/14/2010
Sir Sir
I do not find it greedy - just ask tastefully!
06/14/2010
Sammi Sammi
I don't think it's greedy at all - if you don't ask, you won't get
06/14/2010
Miss Cinnamon Miss Cinnamon
Totally not greedy! If you want it, ask for it nicely and I can't imagine he'd say no. Every woman is different and has different spots she likes having pleasured. There's nothing wrong with letting him know where your spots are.
06/15/2010
Liz2 Liz2
Not greedy!! Just tell him or better yet, show him what you want. Some guys are hesitant about exploring beyond what they know somehow works.
06/15/2010
Illusional Illusional
I'll give it a shot, I just hate... asking for things. I'm the kind of girl who will eat food, even if it's not what I want, lol. He says I should communicate more, but.. I'm just a little shy.
06/15/2010
El-Jaro El-Jaro
Something else to think about: sometimes asking doesn't involve words. Body language is just as useful a tool too.
06/15/2010
dibberdabber dibberdabber
Just one man's opinion. I think you should definitely communicate with him on this. If he aims to please, this will bring focus to the areas you desire to get attention. Liz2 has a good suggestion as well. Show him what you want. I always love that method. Communications is vital to a higher degree of satisfaction.
06/15/2010
Splendwhore Splendwhore
It isn't greedy to tell someone what you want. He's already trying to devote time to pleasing you! I'm sure if you expressed your desire for nipple play, he'd be more than happy to oblige! If nothing else, you could always invest in some clamps, as you were considering, to allow him to do what he wants while you still get the stimulation you need. I think before you make such a decision though, you should discuss this matter with him. Communication is key, in both relationships, and sex.
06/15/2010
Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by Illusional
I'll give it a shot, I just hate... asking for things. I'm the kind of girl who will eat food, even if it's not what I want, lol. He says I should communicate more, but.. I'm just a little shy.
Start small by asking HIM what he likes. You can also let him see how aroused you get when watching a woman touched the way you want to be touched, comment on that and it might start the dreaded conversation in a non threatening way. I am very bad about not asking for what I want, the thing is he loves you and wants to please you so the fact that you don't often ask for something might make him super ready to give you anything you ask for. He realizes how hard it is for you to ask so take a deep breath and just plunge right in. It worked for me, I went and bought a pair of evil looking clamps and then wrote a review for them which caught Sigel's attention...now my breasts are the first thing both guys go after. It's great! EF can be the best way to show what you like and make it easier to talk about sex.
As you can see none of us see that as being greedy or selfish...especially since you can return the favor to your mutual pleasure!
Good Luck!
06/15/2010
Sensual husband Sensual husband
It is not greedy at all but you need to telll him what your wants and desires are. I am sure he will want to please you.
06/22/2010
P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by Illusional
My boyfriend spends a lot of time focusing on my clit, but I'm way way way more sensitive on my nipples, I hear a lot of women complaining that their men don't give oral in general, so should I be one to bitch about it not being the right ... More
Illusional, honey, there's nothing wrong with asking for what you want, and EVERYTHING right about it. Good sex is about sharing and learning. None of this is selfish in the least!

It's OK to simply say, in the throes of passion "Suck my nipples, PLEASE! I love it!" My guess is he'd be happy to comply. It will also probably turn him on like nothing else. And no one says you can't have oral sex AND nipple play in the same session. Why not? It's all good fun.


When I was younger I rarely asked for things and just hoped my partner would "just know" well, it rarely works that way, so the two of you certainly can and should talk about what you want, the both of you. It is so strengthening to do this, My Man and I do this regularly now, after years of my NOT wanting to talk about sex (despite really liking to do it) and it is SO much better when we know what the other wants, and do it happily.

When I want something, I have learned to JUST ASK, or simply let him know I want something particular at that time. It can only strengthen your relationship, and make sex better.
07/02/2010
Blinker Blinker
Girl, make him pay attention to your body and your needs! Lots of men just assume the clit is where everything is at, and that's just not true all the time! I'm ultra sensitive with my nipples, too, and a few times in the beginning of my relationship with my boyfriend, I would grab his head and stick it on my boobs or just stick my nipples in his mouth. He got the hint after a while, lol.

Sometimes guys just need actual directions, but never feel like you're being greedy asking for what you want or need! It's your right to have pleasure anyway you can have it
07/02/2010
El-Jaro El-Jaro
Quote:
Originally posted by Blinker
Girl, make him pay attention to your body and your needs! Lots of men just assume the clit is where everything is at, and that's just not true all the time! I'm ultra sensitive with my nipples, too, and a few times in the beginning of my ... More
Good methods. Straight to the point(s).

I love having my head directed to where to go, must be that whole "woman in charge" thing I like.
07/02/2010
Victoria Victoria
Quote:
Originally posted by Blinker
Girl, make him pay attention to your body and your needs! Lots of men just assume the clit is where everything is at, and that's just not true all the time! I'm ultra sensitive with my nipples, too, and a few times in the beginning of my ... More
Amen, lady!
07/02/2010
joja joja
There is absolutely nothing wrong with expressing what you want. In fact, you'll find most guys are grateful for the feedback and eager to please. Every person has different tastes and different anatomy - there is nothing wrong with asking for something that seems unusual (but I bet you it isn't). Some people don't enjoy head at all, some people NEED it to come. If you don't tell him what you want, how are you supposed to get what you want?
07/05/2010
Alura Une Alura Une
Your partner would probably be happy to know how to please you more. But how you approach it really depends on your relationship. How it would be best for me to bring something like that up might not work so well for you. If it we me and my partner, I would lead his mouth to my breasts and tell him that I like when he sucks there bestest in a voice I think he'd respond well to. In my case, that might mean he'd overdo it for a while. And I'd have to speak my wishes confidently because when I'm timid about things, apparently my tone makes him stop everything to make sure things are OK and it cools me down. But at least he cares. I wish my partner was more specific sometimes, it feels nice to know you are pleasing someone. Your partner probably wants to know how to make you happy! Go for it, communicate!
07/18/2010
ScottA ScottA
Not greedy at all. My thought is that guys tend to focus on the clit because they focus on their penis, and mentally put the equation penis=clit together.

I'm not sure the best way to advise you to proceed, because I don't know how you best communicate or when the best time would be. I will say that as a man I now love foreplay all over my body, and wish my wife would do more of it (and yes I do reciprocate),
07/18/2010
inbarati inbarati
Quote:
Originally posted by Illusional
My boyfriend spends a lot of time focusing on my clit, but I'm way way way more sensitive on my nipples, I hear a lot of women complaining that their men don't give oral in general, so should I be one to bitch about it not being the right ... More
It is ALWAYS a good idea to talk to your partner about something that turns you on. Relationships take work, and most of that work is learning to be honest about what you want.
07/27/2010
pinkzombie pinkzombie
Quote:
Originally posted by Illusional
My boyfriend spends a lot of time focusing on my clit, but I'm way way way more sensitive on my nipples, I hear a lot of women complaining that their men don't give oral in general, so should I be one to bitch about it not being the right ... More
You should def. say something. My hubby loves going down on me too and he is playing with my nipples all at once...sometimes I think man he is doing a lot of work so ill start taking over on my own nipples
12/05/2010
Porfiriato Porfiriato
of course you should say something, he'll probably appreciate the hint!
12/05/2010
cherryredhead88 cherryredhead88
Quote:
Originally posted by Illusional
I'll give it a shot, I just hate... asking for things. I'm the kind of girl who will eat food, even if it's not what I want, lol. He says I should communicate more, but.. I'm just a little shy.
I am like that as well. The funny part is, I can ask for things outside of the bedroom, and once I'm really into it I can talk dirty and all that.. but I am really really shy when it comes to asking for foreplay. Probably because I have a clit of steel and it's really annoying to try and get off from being eaten out. It gets to the point where I pretty much get performance anxiety.

Anyways, I had no idea you have been here for 5 months?! I thought you were newer than that! You've been here as long as me! Lol if not longer! I think I wrote my first review in April!
12/05/2010
Shellz31 Shellz31
Definitely ask - it's not greedy to want foreplay!
12/05/2010
MattBryant MattBryant
Quote:
Originally posted by Illusional
My boyfriend spends a lot of time focusing on my clit, but I'm way way way more sensitive on my nipples, I hear a lot of women complaining that their men don't give oral in general, so should I be one to bitch about it not being the right ... More
when he's going to town grab his hands and put them on your breast.. or mention, hey i love it when you go down on me, i also LOVE it when you play with my nipples.. its not rocket science..
12/05/2010
danesgoddess danesgoddess
Quote:
Originally posted by Illusional
My boyfriend spends a lot of time focusing on my clit, but I'm way way way more sensitive on my nipples, I hear a lot of women complaining that their men don't give oral in general, so should I be one to bitch about it not being the right ... More
You never get what you want if you don't communicate sweetie....
12/06/2010
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