Need more foreplay?

Carrie Ann Carrie Ann
We've got a poll on the forum now about foreplay and Petra has written her column about it this week, too.

So... what do YOU do when you need more foreplay? How do you communicate that? Are you stuck in the "I've got a headache" rut because you're not getting enough? Or do you talk about it? Does he listen?

Guys... do you pay attention to her need for foreplay? Does she tell you? Are you a god who indulges in it all the time? How do you switch her from off to on?

Let's talk about it!
07/08/2009
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Backseat Boohoo Backseat Boohoo
I always try to bring it up. I've rarely had a male partner who jumped the gun, but when it did happen, I just said, "I'm not ready yet," and he settled down and worked me up some more. I've never had that problem with women. =)
07/08/2009
Alan & Michele Alan & Michele
Quote:
Originally posted by Carrie Ann
We've got a poll on the forum now about foreplay and Petra has written her column about it this week, too.

So... what do YOU do when you need more foreplay? How do you communicate that? Are you stuck in the "I've got a ... More
I'm very fortunate in this area, because Alan tends to be a tease. He like to employ erotic massage and cunnilingus to see just how "needy" he can get me before the act... I think it's a power play, but what the hell, I enjoy it so I'm not complaining! .

There's a lot of silent communication in our bedroom. On the few occasions where one of us is trying to get to penetration before the other is ready, the one who isn't ready does what I call "the shift". Hard to explain, but basically (if it's me) I'll shift the nether regions away from him and start kissing, licking, whatever, and that's a silent signal that I need a little more play. He's really in tune to that, but believe me it took years for us to get to that point.

Michele
07/08/2009
Raven Raven
Quote:
Originally posted by Carrie Ann
We've got a poll on the forum now about foreplay and Petra has written her column about it this week, too.

So... what do YOU do when you need more foreplay? How do you communicate that? Are you stuck in the "I've got a ... More
I truly get all the foreplay I need, but I had to train him first. My husband's first wife was the Ice Queen in bed, so now he's in heaven because he has someone who is responsive and loves sex. I've shown him what I like and he's very willing to do whatever it is. In fact, he's become extremely proud of his new-found abillities.

I've had partners before him, however, that thought foreplay was simply a matter of getting undressed. I used to get angry sometimes because I assumed that no man in his right mind would think that such a lack of foreplay was okay, but then I found that with some guys, they really did want to please a woman, but they didn't know how, and if it appeared as though I was as horny as they were, they obviously thought I was ready for instant penetration. When I told them what I liked or asked them to do something in a sexy way, I got what I needed.
07/08/2009
spicywife spicywife
I'm in the same boat as Michelle, my partner and I have silent communication as well as verbal. He can always tell if I'm ready. I couldn't really imagine a sexual act that lacked communication (verbal or silent). When you know someone so well, you just know what to do and when to do it. Foreplay is a must but it varies in length depending on a variety of factors. If I need something else or something more and he hasn't caught on (which is rare) then I do verbalize it, yes. But it helps to have been with someone for a long time and be comfortable with him.

I think that we are both dominant and sort of share it, it's like we are pushing a ball back and forth.. but I'm definitely more... what's the word? I'm the one who brought up sex toys and introduced different levels of experimentation and he was happy to go along with it
07/08/2009
Machina Machina
Quote:
Originally posted by Raven
I truly get all the foreplay I need, but I had to train him first. My husband's first wife was the Ice Queen in bed, so now he's in heaven because he has someone who is responsive and loves sex. I've shown him what I like and he's ... More
I agree about the "training" thing. Some of my partners have had really rough starts in the foreplay arena. I was making out with my ex-boyfriend on the bed one night. We hadn't had sex yet, or done anything else besides make out. Then, all of a sudden he just took all his clothes off. Just got completely naked. What was he thinking? That I was just going to take all my clothes off too and let him get inside me? No no... I just gave him a handjob because I did like the guy, and didn't want to make him feel uncomfortable. Needless to say there was a "discussion" the next night over dinner, and things played out better during our next encounter.

I think it really helps to bring up the discussion outside the bedroom, that's how I've had the most success. When I've bitched in bed during the act, I've usually ended up with a pissed off partner.
07/08/2009
Wise Young Mommy Wise Young Mommy
I love this feedback! You guys all seem to really have it figured out and have great communication with your partners. I hope that there are other women out there reading this and getting some good ideas for bringing it up to their partners if they aren't getting what they need!
07/08/2009
anonymouscity anonymouscity
Hi!
I don't really divide it into "foreplay" and "intercourse." It's all sex. Sometimes we switch back and forth between the two, but I don't keep track of it.

However, if I'm not ready for penetration, I just tell him, "Not yet," and make him squirm for a while.
07/08/2009
Liz2 Liz2
He knows when I am ready when I assume a position and just say "fuck me!" Sometimes he is going nuts waiting for the fuck position but he doesn't complain and says the wait was worth it.
He has come a long way in his staying power and can hang in much longer even with some penetration.
07/08/2009
NuMe NuMe
For me, how much foreplay I want changes with the wind and my moods. I think my husband likes more foreplay than I do. Since I prefer intercourse and for us it is never less than 45 minutes and usually over an hour, I feel plenty satisfied with that most times. But there are times I do love foreplay as well. And that can consist of all kinds of things like back rubs, teasing while still fully dressed, to the obvious bedroom type foreplay. But I'm usually the one who stops it when I've had enough teasing and want to get down to business.
07/08/2009
Sammi Sammi
I'm pretty fortunate with foreplay - we always have lots - more than the actual sex most often. It's always been a big part of our sex life.
07/08/2009
Carrie Ann Carrie Ann
Quote:
Originally posted by NuMe
For me, how much foreplay I want changes with the wind and my moods. I think my husband likes more foreplay than I do. Since I prefer intercourse and for us it is never less than 45 minutes and usually over an hour, I feel plenty satisfied with that ... More
Backrubs are some of the best foreplay!

I actually like any sort of touching that involves non standard erogenous zones; hips, waist, stomach, idle running of hands over legs and arms.
07/08/2009
Wise Young Mommy Wise Young Mommy
Quote:
Originally posted by Carrie Ann
Backrubs are some of the best foreplay!

I actually like any sort of touching that involves non standard erogenous zones; hips, waist, stomach, idle running of hands over legs and arms.
I agree Carrie Anne! That's what gets me every time!
07/09/2009
Dragon Dragon
Quote:
Originally posted by Machina
I agree about the "training" thing. Some of my partners have had really rough starts in the foreplay arena. I was making out with my ex-boyfriend on the bed one night. We hadn't had sex yet, or done anything else besides make out. ... More
"When I've bitched in bed during the act, I've usually ended up with a pissed off partner."

or a nice emotional storm in the middle of the night...

Yep. Been there too.
07/09/2009
Alicia Alicia
Quote:
Originally posted by Carrie Ann
We've got a poll on the forum now about foreplay and Petra has written her column about it this week, too.

So... what do YOU do when you need more foreplay? How do you communicate that? Are you stuck in the "I've got a ... More
We don't really talk about it, we just read each other's body language to know if we're ready. I love to have multiple orgasms and my husband loves to give me them so most times it's me who makes the first move towards initiating the actual intercourse part of sex. There has been a few times that I've tried to initiate it and my husband has said "not so fast I'm not done with you yet" and then continue with the foreplay. We both love the foreplay as much as we love the sex so there's no complaint from either of us if the other wants more. I think as long as any communication is done in a playful way it makes it sexy and a beneficial part of sex rather then sounding like a complaint or criticism.
05/23/2010
Rayne Millaray Rayne Millaray
Foreplay, in our house, usually amounts to, "Get on the bed and spread your legs, cunt." ~purr~

However, M doesn't have much of an oral fixation. To say He has none at all is pretty accurate. I whined (No, really. Whined.) about how He rarely ever put His mouth on me anywhere (I've long since gotten over the fact that He's not real big on giving oral sex. Since I'm not always keen on receiving, it works out.), and He's made a conscious effort to change that.

He's like that with most things, so long as it doesn't interfere with His wants/needs. My man rocks.
05/23/2010
Sera Sera
Quote:
Originally posted by Carrie Ann
We've got a poll on the forum now about foreplay and Petra has written her column about it this week, too.

So... what do YOU do when you need more foreplay? How do you communicate that? Are you stuck in the "I've got a ... More
When we don't have a lot of foreplay and he just cuts to the sex and goes too fast for me, I have to tell him to stop and I get really sad because then the mood is gone for me..I don't like fast moves and he scares me sometimes. But he's so sweet about it and he kisses me and we end up talking about it and getting into the sex again. It usually ends up coming out well.
11/01/2010
mrs.mckrakn mrs.mckrakn
blows for me..dont get it very often. i have to ask. which sucks cause this should be automatic
11/01/2010
Teaser Teaser
I'm a guy, and I LOVE foreplay. I do it all (95%) of the time. And no, I'm not a god. Actually, I'm selfish. I LOVE to watch her enjoy herself, and I love the idea that I did that. I'm not saying that we have never had rip-each-others-clothe s-off-and-fuck-like-bu nnies sex, or take a walk in he woods, stop for a rest, and I reach over and diddle a little (which might actually count as foreplay, no?), but most of the time, if she doesn't cum at least twice before the grand finale, then it was a quickie. I love that time together with her. I love to tease her (hence my nickname), and even make her beg (just a little). I ask her if there is anything special I can do for her, and she will tell me if there is. I switch her on with kissing and caressing, and we often light candles or play strip blackjack or something, and she usually moves my hand when she is ready for more. (Of course, that doesn't mean that I immediately comply. )

So yea, I like and "do" foreplay!
12/15/2010
Teaser Teaser
Quote:
Originally posted by Alicia
We don't really talk about it, we just read each other's body language to know if we're ready. I love to have multiple orgasms and my husband loves to give me them so most times it's me who makes the first move towards initiating the ... More
Actually Alicia, I have said the exact same thing to my wife ("not so fast I'm not done with you yet") to which she usually fakes a whine, and then I continue.
12/15/2010
Total posts: 20
Unique posters: 17