Tips for Getting Your Partner to Start Talking Dirty?

HoneyHoney HoneyHoney
My boyfriend remains relatively silent when we're intimate except for the occasional grunt and growl; from start to finish. But I prefer... dirty talk. I've been trying to get him to talk dirty to me by suggesting things he could say and telling him it really helps me, but he seems a little shy to it. Do you have any helpful suggestions for getting your partner to talk dirty? Do they downright refuse? Are they happy to oblige?

honeyhoney
02/04/2011
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Crash Crash
I'm one of the quiet ones. I would start small. One of the difficulties of talking dirty is that you are very vulnerable and you don't want to say anything that sounds stupid. It's also very distracting to have beautiful girl so close to you . It might help if you are on top so he can talk. Start with something dirty and then prompt him to say something. "Do you like X?" (him "Yes.") "What else do you like?"

Something like that to start out. It might take a lot of work but its always nice to have something to work on together. Good luck!
02/04/2011
Yoda Yoda
I've been trying to introduce dirty talk into my sex life as well, but no luck thus far. It's tough when the person your with is fundamentally pure at heart, and can barely bring themselves to fart. I've come to some conclusions that I can work with, though. My wife likes naughty, but dirty is something altogether different. That works just fine after all.
02/05/2011
Lucidity Lucidity
I've found that it helps if you let your partner know that nothing they say is going to cause you to laugh at them or think they're stupid or gross. Also, let them know how much it turns you on. And start, like Alecksander said, say stuff like, "I like when you do ___. Do you like when I do ____?" "How much do you like it?" "Does this turn you on? How much?" "How does my ____ feel?" stuff like that. It's a process, a lot of people have been conditioned not to talk in bed, or have been laughed at at some point in their lives, so it's hard for them to be OK with it again.
02/05/2011
liilii080 liilii080
Maybe watching some porn or reading some erotica might give your partner some ideas about what to say, how to say it, etc. And have you talked to them about why they don't or why they are uncomfortable? That might help too. Good luck!
02/05/2011
Mr. E Mr. E
Do you guys exchange dirty talk outside of the bedroom? If not, your suggestions of what to say may be pushing him beyond his current comfort zone. This would be counter-productive.

It may be easier, less pressure for him to open up outside of the bedroom first. You know, not at the heat of the moment. Try getting him to engage with a fun, flirty and playful tone. Maybe a naughty text or suggestive phone call. Don't rush it, take your time. Ask him questions. Get him to respond. You are trying to get him to engage. Once you can overcome this barrier, it will be easier for him to speak up at game time. You can then gradually escalate to naughty, dirty, filthy or vulgar talk, whatever you both want, but only after he gets up to speed and gets on the same page.

It took my wife and I, years before we both felt 100% comfortable saying anything and everything to each other. We love it. It has greatly enhanced our relationship, both in and out of the bedroom. It is definitely worth the effort.

Good luck!
02/05/2011
HoneyHoney HoneyHoney
Wow you guys! Thanks!
02/11/2011
al16 al16
My advice, get him a little tipsy, see how he reacts to so dirty talk then.
02/11/2011
Redboxbaby Redboxbaby
I agree with others here about introducing it outside of the bedroom. There is nothing worse than being completely caught off-guard and offended while you are having sex. Instant turn-off.
02/11/2011
Brandi Rouxxx Brandi Rouxxx
Quote:
Originally posted by Mr. E
Do you guys exchange dirty talk outside of the bedroom? If not, your suggestions of what to say may be pushing him beyond his current comfort zone. This would be counter-productive.

It may be easier, less pressure for him to open up outside ... More
Great advice!
02/11/2011
LavenderSkies LavenderSkies
Quote:
Originally posted by Lucidity
I've found that it helps if you let your partner know that nothing they say is going to cause you to laugh at them or think they're stupid or gross. Also, let them know how much it turns you on. And start, like Alecksander said, say stuff ... More
I completely agree. This eases them into it
02/11/2011
Total posts: 11
Unique posters: 10