Introducing sex toys to our life

I have wanted to do things a bit differently for us by adding toys to our sex life. How can I introduce new things without making my partner uncomfortable? Reply

My first piece of advice when it comes to introducing toys is to always talk about it to your partner. I personally do not like to spring toys into a relationship and risk a bad reaction. I think you should broach the subject and gauge his interest beforehand. Reply

it would also help that when you bring it up, to do so in a way that won't make him feel like you want to add toys because he is not good enough. stress how good he is and how happy you are with your sex life, and that you'd like to see if you can't make your great sex even more amazing with some fun gadgets. hope that helps! Reply

Well, just talk to your partner about how much it turns you on, and how much it would mean to you if he would explore it with you. Reply

Start with something small, and not intimidating. Then, if your partner is receptive and enjoys incorporating the toy into your sex life, you can pick other things out together. Reply

Keep the lines of communication open. If he's not receptive than take things slowly, you don't want to all of a sudden have a dozen or so toys on the bed that he comes home to. My husband was a little intimidated when we first started dating because he saw my big collection. It took him a while before he wanted to start exploring with them. When we did we started with the basics- a very simple, non threatening vibrator that he could use on me for vaginal penetration and I could use on him for testicular stimulation. A cock ring with a bullet, something very basic without a complicated power pack. It took a few years until he was ready for anal play (for himself) but we eventually got there. I've always been comfortable using sex toys and I made sure he was comfortable before I introduced them to him as well.

Make sure to help him remain open to the possibility, you never want to hear him ask "do you think we need toys because the sex isn't good enough?" Reassure him that he's a great lover but just that sex toys would add a little something extra. Don't start off to big either, and if you orgasm with a toy be aware of his reactions- you don't want him to feel like these toys can bring you to a far greater orgasm than he can. My husband doesn't have a fragile ego, but some men do, just make sure that while you two play together with toys that you're both happy in doing so and that you both enjoy them equally. Reply

I think browsing a site like Edens together is a great start. That way you can pick out something you're both interested in and talk about likes and dislikes. It's a great way to start the conversation. Reply

I agree with sleeping dreamer, some men do have extremely fragile egos! Mine fortunately does not. He loves to see me get off no matter what method. Sometimes, when he's done, I'm not done yet and he can't just climb back up on that horse and ride! It takes him awhile to get hard again so, while he's waiting he can play with me which can help him get going again too. Don't forget to use toys on him too! Men, although not always willing to try them, like them as well! It just really depends on your partner how you broach the subject though. Reply

I agree. That is how I got my husband warmed up to the idea; I was like "would you be interested in using an intimate toy together? We could go online and pick something out together." We didn't buy a toy right away, but we did have some hot sex from looking at all the toys and talking about it. It really opened up the communication for all kinds of things, not just toys. Reply

I just thought of another suggestion. Maybe you could do a clone a willy kit. I haven't tried one yet personally but, am planning to in the near future but, that way you would be making a sex toy that was a copy of his own so, maybe he wouldn't be as likely to get jealous of it? I am planning on getting the glow in the dark clone a willy that comes with a vibrator you can put inside it when it's done. Hope that helps! Reply

I've tried the clone a willie kit, and it's hilarious to do, but, if your partner isn't use to the idea of sex toys at all, he may not be overly thrilled sticking his manhood into the cold molding material. LOL
The thing to stress about sex toys, is that they're for enhancing one's sex life, not about replacing your lover in the bedroom. Let's face it, a man's tongue just can't vibrate on your clit like a bullet can. And the bullet can be on you while he's inside you and he can feel and see your pleasure too, which should turn him on immensley! Reply

We started small too. Stared with a clitoral stimulator that he could control...anything that let's him continue to be in charge, if that's how he rolls. Good luck! Reply

Just tell him you want to. Really, that should be enough. And if it isn't... then he's a weirdo. Reply

Jennifer, the gender of your partner, while not necessary, would help focus my advice more easily. Gender aside, you might try having a friend send you and your partner what I would call a fantasy package. This could contain an assortment of items, some for novelty and some for fun play. Be certain it contains one or two specfic items on your want-to-try list. You and your partner should open the package together. Your partners reaction to the items the package contains should provide you with some insight on how you might proceed. Good luck. Reply

It definitely helps to look at websites together, and see what you are and aren't interested in. It'll also help your partner if they haven't previously thought about what kinds of toys they'd like to try.

As other posters have said, just emphasize that you're not looking for toys because your partner isn't good enough--after all, there's all sorts of things that toys can do (vibrating, rotating, electrical shocking) that the human body just can't do on its own. Reply

The advice is all great on this post so far. So I'll just share my personal experience. My boyfriend is slightly shy. I embarrass easily. Trying to bring up the idea of sex toys was terrifying.
I had a lot of lubes/heighteners so I started working those into our regular sex. Warming lubes, things to enhance my clitoral stimulation. He loved the idea that sex was better for me, so I suggested we look at this site together. I did reaffirm many times that I just wanted to spice things up, but completely loved our sex life. We chose a cock ring. Tried that, loved it. He's now quite addicted to sex toys and this site.
The most important thing for us was keeping communication open. We talk about pretty much every toy purchase we make. We both know each others limits and we don't cross them until the other gives it the okay. A lot of the advice on here is really good. Best of luck! Reply