A letter to the EF Community

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A letter to the EF Community

Darling Jen Darling Jen
I know this isn't a discussion on sex or toy-related topics but I feel like this community has become very close to me so I'm doing it anyway.

I've been a part of the community for a very short time period and I'm addicted to the community, the review program, and the quality of the EF store. Most importantly I am touched to be included as a valuable member of the forum and reviewers.

And anyone who has seen me respond to discussion or polls or saw my original profile knows that I was in a committed relationship with a transman. The operative word in that sentence is "was".

After 8 years together I was dumped via the internet during his military deployment overseas. I was also told to move out of our home before he returns. I never saw any of it coming. We had just seen eachother over mid-tour leave less than two weeks ago and he was still planning with me to buy a house, get married, and have kids. And he's now done this just in time for me to spend my birthday moving out of our home.

So during the last few days of grieving, hurting, and anger, I find myself surrounded by loved ones I didn't even know cared. And I also thought of this community that has accepted me without question. I know this is just a sex toy site when it all comes down to it but it is playing a big role in keeping my self-worth from crashing through the floor. And I thank everyone for all the kindness and welcome and support I received up to this point.

I am very proud to be a part of this community. And I was even offered my first free toy, without me requesting it first, recently. A toy that has not yet been released to customers. I am just so touched by everyone here and I thank you all for being such wonderful people.

Thank you for taking the time to read this. While I'm moving out of what-was-once-my-home, my time on the boards will be quite a bit shorter but I am in no way leaving this community for the world. I'm in it for the long haul.

Thank you and love to you all.

~Jen
08/31/2010
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ToyTimeTim ToyTimeTim
I am sorry for you bad luck and my well wishes and prayers will go out to you during you time of need. I hope everything works out in the end.

BIG hug!
08/31/2010
Midway through Midway through
Quote:
Originally posted by Darling Jen
I know this isn't a discussion on sex or toy-related topics but I feel like this community has become very close to me so I'm doing it anyway.

I've been a part of the community for a very short time period and I'm addicted to ...
I don't think this is just a sex toy site anymore. I feel like we're a community of completely open and accepting people, who take in new people and are just as open and friendly to them. I have never been in your situation, but try to keep your chin up. All things happen for the betterment of us, and this too shall pass. We will be here when you return, and I'll keep you in my prayers.
08/31/2010
Chilipepper Chilipepper
*hugs* Take care of yourself during this time, Jen.
08/31/2010
clp clp
I am very sorry to hear that, Jen. I hope that you are able to get through this as safely and painlessly as possible.
08/31/2010
Jul!a Jul!a
I'm so sorry to hear that. Make sure that you're keeping yourself at the top of the priority list. I'm sending lots of hugs and happy thoughts your way. Best of luck Darling Jen, and we'll all be here waiting when you get back
08/31/2010
Illusional Illusional
*Gives you more hugs* We'll be here. <3 Take your time out to take care of you.
08/31/2010
Naughty Student Naughty Student
Sorry to hear what you're going through. Soemtimes bad things are good things in disguise but its really hard to see things that way. Hope you heal quickly and take care of yourself! You are your number one priority, you can never let yourself down!
08/31/2010
Liz Liz
I'm so sorry for what's happening to you. Take care.
08/31/2010
deltalima deltalima
I feel the same about the community and am pretty new.

It sucks what has happened but I think EF has a great community that you'll be able to find people who you can talk to and people who will help you out. Stay awesome!
08/31/2010
Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by Darling Jen
I know this isn't a discussion on sex or toy-related topics but I feel like this community has become very close to me so I'm doing it anyway.

I've been a part of the community for a very short time period and I'm addicted to ...
I will be looking forward to seeing you when you have settled this mess, what a JERK!!!?!!! Cowards come in all sizes and apparently all occupations. Sending you all the love you deserve. Be safe and get back here soon!
~Airen
09/01/2010
LicentiouslyYours LicentiouslyYours
I am very disappointed for you, to have such an awful thing happen. I've been where you are, having a long-term relationship ended with such suddenness and from so far away. It hurts, there's no way around that. But it doesn't last forever. Keep yourself focused on that old cliche...this too, shall pass. It's cheesy, but it's true.

It will. And it's a good bet that you will find yourself in a better place when it does. And in the mean time, you can console yourself with oodles of review toys and friends to share in the fun of reviewing them here.
09/01/2010
Miss Cinnamon Miss Cinnamon
* hugggs * Hang in there, Darling Jen!
09/01/2010
Dusk Dusk
*hugs* I'm so sorry to hear that this has happened to you! I hope it makes you stronger, and know that there are so many people here for you.
09/01/2010
Liz2 Liz2
So sorry for your trouble but better now then later and wasting anymore of your precious time with that guy. Be good to yourself!!
09/01/2010
El-Jaro El-Jaro
*HUGS*

I'm so sorry!

Of course, leaving you in the house while away is possibly a very bad idea...for him . But I'm not suggesting anything.
09/01/2010
PassionQT PassionQT
Quote:
Originally posted by Midway through
I don't think this is just a sex toy site anymore. I feel like we're a community of completely open and accepting people, who take in new people and are just as open and friendly to them. I have never been in your situation, but try to keep ...
I agree and I think that it's the mature, friendly, compassionate attitude of the members that accounts for this feeling of "family".

There's a reason for everything Jen, and although I'm deeply sorry it has come to this, a new door has been opened for you. In a way, perhaps he is doing you a favor, although his tactic sucked!
09/01/2010
Yesenia Yesenia
Jen I'm sorry for you but EF has a great community and where always here for each other its not just a sex toy site we are real people and welcome you with open arms hold so hold on.You have plenty of people that support you on here so don't be a stranger. Good Luck
09/01/2010
Splendwhore Splendwhore
My deepest condolences. Take some you-time to just collect your thoughts, come to grips with the situation, and accept it. What you really need right now is love and support, and it seems like that's what you're receiving from the people who really care. Good luck with your situation. I hope it all works out for you in the end. *Hugs*
09/01/2010
Tori Rebel Tori Rebel
I'm so sorry to hear that Jen! There is no sweet way to put it, that flat out sucks. And as much as I'm sure it's not what you're thinking now, I'm sure there are new and wonderful things on the horizon for you after this hurdle. I know it's painful beyond words, I've been there, but time will heal this wound, even if it does so slowly. Good luck!
09/01/2010
gone77 gone77
Oh, wow, I'm so sorry to hear what you're going through, Jen. However, I'm glad that you've found this community and that being a part of it is helping you cope. Your time on here may become shorter, but you know it'll be here when you need it. *hugs* I wish you the best in getting through this and beginning your life anew.
09/01/2010
Selective Sensualist Selective Sensualist
I'm so sorry this has happened to you so unexpectedly, but I agree with Laurel that all things, including the worst pain, will pass. It is cliche, but very true.

Take good care of yourself and keep your chin up. Life is full of both valley and mountaintop experiences. Not a single one of us can avoid valley experiences, but keep your eye on the mountaintop, Sweetheart. Because you WILL be right back up there again. It WILL come to pass.

In the meantime, allow yourself to enjoy all the little, simple things in life that make life worthwhile. Little pleasures are nothing to be scoffed at. Pamper yourself every chance you get and continue to surround yourself with loving, nurturing, positive people. The shock and the numbness and the hurt and the pain WILL fade away.

Big hugs.
09/01/2010
FrenchKisser FrenchKisser
i am pretty new here myself but i belong to another great online community... i'd just say that i am sorry that you have to deal with all that and get the support from where ever you can get it... who cares if this community started with a sex toy site... what matters is that there is a community and people are here to help and listen to you when you need it.
many hugs!
09/01/2010
P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by Darling Jen
I know this isn't a discussion on sex or toy-related topics but I feel like this community has become very close to me so I'm doing it anyway.

I've been a part of the community for a very short time period and I'm addicted to ...
I'm so sorry you were treated so shabbily. You don't deserve it.

My thoughts are with you, for strength (which I know you have) to not only quickly overcome this setback, but to learn from it, and come out the other side a stronger woman.

Hugs,

P'Gell
09/01/2010
Victoria Victoria
We're happy to have you, Jen! It is great that you feel so at home here, and I am really glad it is helping you! You'll get through this - and you have lots of support from all of us
09/01/2010
Darling Jen Darling Jen
Thank you to everyone. This is why even an online forum can make a huge difference.

I have to admit that prior to this... incident, I never considered myself supported. I didn't have friends that I talked to on any regular basis. I spent my (ex) partner's deployment alone almost entirely. But now I know better. I am a lucky woman to have the support I do have.

I'll get through this somehow. I know it will take a long time, but I want to be happy again. I feel that I was born to love and I don't want to miss the (real) love of my life because I was still too distraught to notice.

Again, thank you everyone.
09/01/2010
Selective Sensualist Selective Sensualist
Quote:
Originally posted by Darling Jen
Thank you to everyone. This is why even an online forum can make a huge difference.

I have to admit that prior to this... incident, I never considered myself supported. I didn't have friends that I talked to on any regular basis. I spent ...
I'm so glad that you now realize just how cherished you truly are.

I love this:
"I feel that I was born to love and I don't want to miss the (real) love of my life because I was still too distraught to notice."

Smart girl! Keep your chin up, Sweetie.
09/02/2010
twistedheartsx twistedheartsx
Woah! *hugs* That's a lot to take in at once. No one ever deserves to have something like that thrown in their face, however, you've got a lot of people who are here to support you.

"if he's dumb enough to let you go, be smart enough to walk away"

*big, big hugs!*
09/02/2010
Just Jen Just Jen
I'm so sorry to hear you are going through this. My fiance' and I have just gotten over a rough patch, and your story makes me ralize what we almost threw out the door. I'll keep you in my prayers, Jen!!
09/02/2010
PurpleBerry PurpleBerry
I'm sorry you are going through this.
09/07/2010
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Total posts: 33
Unique posters: 31