Advice - please :(

SecretToyLover2 SecretToyLover2
Hubby is going to be leaving a while for work. Actually, he's gonna be leaving a lot. Two to three months at a time, and coming home to visit only for holidays. I'm so scared and I truly don't know what to do. He's a wonderful faithful man, so cheating or unfaithfulness isn't a fear. However, everything else imaginable is a fear. Not calling every night, not being able to talk enough... It's hard to explain. I'd love to hear some advice or stories that may help me because I'm just torn apart by this. I am dreading our last hug and kiss at the airport in August and I find myself counting the days which is also awful....
07/22/2012
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Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by SecretToyLover2
Hubby is going to be leaving a while for work. Actually, he's gonna be leaving a lot. Two to three months at a time, and coming home to visit only for holidays. I'm so scared and I truly don't know what to do. He's a wonderful ... More
I know the pain. My life partner lives a whole Country away and we get to spend short bursts of time together. What we do is use Skype during our every free moment. Even if you don't have the camera on sometimes just hearing your loved one's voice going on about their business is soothing. I'm not gonna lie, it's hard. REALLY hard but you can get through this and actually have some real and intimate conversations. Also if you have a laptop and a skype account (unlimited bandwidth helps) you can set up your laptop on the bedside table and actually "sleep" together. This helped when Sigel went remote with his job and Arch was away as well. I couldn't sleep 'cause I wasn't used to sleeping alone. We set up the lap top and went to sleep and I finally got the rest I needed.
07/22/2012
unfulfilled unfulfilled
I'm going to agree with Skype if you have unlimited internet access.
07/22/2012
melissapotamus melissapotamus
Quote:
Originally posted by SecretToyLover2
Hubby is going to be leaving a while for work. Actually, he's gonna be leaving a lot. Two to three months at a time, and coming home to visit only for holidays. I'm so scared and I truly don't know what to do. He's a wonderful ... More
I would try to urge him to get a different job, even if that means sacrificing a bit of pay. My bf works the night shift and I think that's hard! I cant imagine what you must go through! So yeah, I'd try to get him another job so he could spend more time with me .
07/22/2012
Taylor Taylor
Is the work in the same place? or is it 2-3 months at a time in different cities? Are you in a position where you could go with him?

Like others have said there's skype, calling and texting often. Maybe you could go out and visit him. Check for last minute cheap flights on travel sites.
07/22/2012
P'Gell P'Gell
I'm sorry your partner is going to be gone for so long. I have a hard time when My Man is out of town for only a few days. He was on a Native American Rez for a week this summer and he would have to walk a mile to get a phone signal. I was missing him terribly.

Skype is a great idea. You can also connect in the same way through your Facebook accounts. We talk to our daughter who lives out of state this way.

I hope the time he is gone goes quickly for you.
07/22/2012
Bignuf Bignuf
Quote:
Originally posted by SecretToyLover2
Hubby is going to be leaving a while for work. Actually, he's gonna be leaving a lot. Two to three months at a time, and coming home to visit only for holidays. I'm so scared and I truly don't know what to do. He's a wonderful ... More
We went though this for a while. We have friends who are military and that is their life. If trust is not the issue, then the real answer is to cultivate an outside life for yourself, where you are, so you are NOT sitting home, alone, every night. Volunteer!!! Walk dogs at the humane society, read stories to children in the hospital...or rock babies. Get a part time evening job. Most off, CULTIVATE activities with friends. See movies, go to dinner, DO THINGS. Live.

Maybe learn to dance, while he is gone, and when he returns you both take dance lessons TOGETHER, to "rebond" and have fun. I did that. I also learned to do lot of HOUSE CHORES and when he came back he found the place painted, new plumbing fixtures, and even a new hardwood floor...ALL DONE BY ME!!!! The second time he was gone for three months (it was school/professional rotation), he came back to find he had a new tool bench and all his tools organized. He was beyond thrilled.

It is all about finding a life for YOURSELF..not sitting around lonely.

I hope that helps.

OH...FYI, with computers now, you CAN pretty much SKYP video call, from anywhere, free, every night. It's great technology to stay linked.

Good luck.
07/22/2012
Zombirella Zombirella
Oh man, I'm so sorry. I know that has to be rough. The longest I was away from my fiance was 9 days when I went on a family vacation to Mexico. I talked to him every night though but I still ended up crying at night a couple times.

I agree with the Skype thing. Cell phone calls and text messages are good too.

I think love can be strong enough to walk through anything.

There may be a day that he can't get ahold of you but you just have to try not to get sad about it.

Friends and family are a big helper with things like this. It's nice to have other people to go to when you're having a tough a time.

Finding a new hobby, taking some online classes for school, getting involved in something in the community where you live, just anything to keep you busy. If you don't work, maybe a part time job at a place you like to shop or something would be good if that is a possibility?

I wish I knew of something more to suggest or better advice. I hope the best for you, you can get through it!
07/22/2012
Zandrock Zandrock
I do not have any great advice. I have not done a long distance relationship. But texting and skype might be great.

Also discuss what you will do before he leaves. Set reasonable expectations. And know that love can carry you through a lot of things.
07/23/2012
nova2014 nova2014
I'm sorry he's going to be gone for that long, but my advice for this is even if he doesn't call you or contact you as much as you'd like, don't freak out and understand that he might be busy or tired. Getting upset about it will just add a lot of unneeded stress to the relationship. Keep remembering you both love each other and that'll help a ton, maybe keep a shirt of his to wear when you're feeling super lonely
02/03/2013
Bme Bme
We are in a similar situation. We have found that letters help a lot. We value the love we have more and do not waste what little time we have on petty arguments. I have gotten to know my wife so much better through this situation. I can honestly say that I love and respect her more now than ever.
03/29/2013
Total posts: 11
Unique posters: 11