Are you with your "destined" other?

Bignuf Bignuf
Some cultures and religions believe everyone has a "soul mate" that is their destiny, and that you should wait until you feel the "divine spark" and know you are with THAT person.

Do you think your long term love was "destined" for you?

Are THEY the one piece that completes the puzzle of your soul, or is it "luck or chance" that brought you together, and if it were not "them" it would probably be "some-one else, different, but maybe just as good a match for me"?
07/06/2011
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Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
I'd have to say yes. My wife and I are so divergent in the time and place of our growing up, that for us to have even met is a minor miracle.

I'm 11 years older, grew up in Pgh, PA and traveled extensively finding myself in the LA area in the late 80s. She grew up in Lvl, KY and was sent to Orange County by her employer after graduating college.

She was engaged to her HS/college sweetheart and I was more-or-less living with my SO. We met through a mutual friend, ditched our encumbrances and married within 18 months of our first encounter.

We're still madly in love after 21 years - it honestly gets better every day.
07/06/2011
newfoundlust newfoundlust
Quote:
Originally posted by Bignuf
Some cultures and religions believe everyone has a "soul mate" that is their destiny, and that you should wait until you feel the "divine spark" and know you are with THAT person.

Do you think your long term love was ... More
Lord, after 25 years I sure hope so! We have built our entire lives together, so obviously that was the destiny.
07/06/2011
oohlookasquirrel oohlookasquirrel
Quote:
Originally posted by Bignuf
Some cultures and religions believe everyone has a "soul mate" that is their destiny, and that you should wait until you feel the "divine spark" and know you are with THAT person.

Do you think your long term love was ... More
I don't believe in soul mates or destiny. They are pretty ideas, but the concept of some higher power deciding our futures and removing aspects of our free will seems rather unlikely to me.

I've been with my partner for nearly 9 years now. We met via mutual interests at a college far away from both of our homes and have shaped each other's lives significantly since getting together. I want him to be part of my life until one of us dies. We each know how the other works, and we share so many interests and preferences that I find it highly unlikely that I am ever going to find someone I would rather spend the rest of my life with than this guy. Sure, I meet other guys I would be able to fall in love with or sleep with or fantasize about, but there's always something about them that would keep me from dating them (can't cook, smoker, doesn't know a thing about various interests that are very important to me, etc.). I dated a guy before my current partner for several years, and I absolutely felt like I could have spent the rest of my life with him, too, until I met someone better suited to me. That "divine spark" was there, but it faded over time, particularly when I met someone else.

We are going through a lot of pain to stay together in a variety of difficult situations involving careers and physical distance between us, which shows how much we love and trust one another. That being said, I am absolutely positive that both of us could also be happy with other people. So, I don't believe we're soul mates or destined to be together, and I'm sure that we could be happy with other people if the two of us hadn't met and fallen in love. We choose to keep each other in our lives because we're a good pair, but that choice is all ours, without any higher power telling us who to love.

I find the idea of a partnership much more romantic without involving destiny. Would you rather someone love you because they are destined to do so and have no say in the matter, or have them CHOOSE to stick with you year after year?
07/06/2011
CAKES CAKES
Definitely!
07/06/2011
Chilipepper Chilipepper
I thought my ex was, which depressed the holy hell out of me.

I've given up such romantic ideas. Although one of my characters probably expressed the whole concept better: "Destiny may bring the two together, but it's ultimately up to them if they want to make it work or not."
07/06/2011
ThoughtsAblaze ThoughtsAblaze
This reminds me of my favorite chapter (#4 about soul mates) from my favorite webseries, A Conversation While: link

I used to be extremely romantic and a hardcore believer in soul mates, but that feeling has greatly waned over time. I haven't completely tossed out the idea of soul mates, but I now look for more solid relationship characteristics rather than some magical man of perfection. Is my current guy my "destined" man? I dunno yet. One thing I do love about us so far is our ability to really understand each other and accept our quirks. There's no trying to fix the other person. I also love that I can be totally honest with him about something and disagree wholeheartedly on a topic, and he'll think it through with me. There's no quick judging, no silent suffering on anyone's part. We're meshing really well so far.
07/06/2011
toxie m toxie m
I don't believe in soulmates. I think my guy and I are a really great match and I love him, but I don't think he's the magical One for me. There are lots of people out there that I'm sure I could be compatible and happy with, but it doesn't make what he and I have now any less special.
07/07/2011
Dusk Dusk
After my last relationship, I no longer believe in one person being destined for me. I was convinced that I had found 'the one' - we kept being drawn back to each other over the course of the year and when we finally started dating, everything clicked. Turned out we were completely wrong for each other, it was the most abusive relationship I've ever been in, and we were doomed from the beginning. I no longer trust that instinct.
07/07/2011
Taylor Taylor
I think we all have lots of "soul mates" it's just a matter of finding one of them. I don't believe there is just one person you are destined to be with though there certainly are people who can make you feel like you were destined to be with them. I think there are many people that you can make it work with and there isn't just one person out there for each of us.
07/07/2011
Tori Rebel Tori Rebel
I think people are meant to be, but not necessarily meant to be forever. People come into our lives to strengthen, challenge, teach, and sometimes even hurt us for the benefit of the growth that comes from healing. So far I've had THREE people in my life (1 ex fiancee and longtime boyfriend, 1 ex husband, one 1 2-yr boyfriend) that I said forever to and truly thought I was meant to be with - and I meant it, at the time. And I wouldn't be who I am today without the three of them but right now I'd have no interest in being with any of them again either. The more I contemplate life and love, the less it makes any sense at all
07/07/2011
Maeby Maeby
I definitely believe my husband and I are meant to be together. That doesn't mean that we don't have to work at our relationship, though.
07/07/2011
P'Gell P'Gell
I don't believe in soul mates. Not from my experience anyway. My Man and I are in love, but have experienced enough strife and times of not connecting, that although I love him dearly, I can't say he was "made for me." Nor was I made for him. We're together, we're in love, we're a couple. Maybe we're just going through a rough time, but even at other times ideas like soul mates have never worked for me.

I'm not really romantic. With 6.2 billion people in the world, there is a hell of a lot more than ONE single person who will work for each individual.
07/07/2011
Tori Rebel Tori Rebel
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
I don't believe in soul mates. Not from my experience anyway. My Man and I are in love, but have experienced enough strife and times of not connecting, that although I love him dearly, I can't say he was "made for me." Nor was I ... More
These are the facts that give me hope
07/07/2011
KsPlaything KsPlaything
ABSOLUTELY!
07/07/2011
Sir Sir
I am not currently with the one who I am destined to be with. At the moment, I am single, and focusing on myself.
07/07/2011
BBW Talks Toys BBW Talks Toys
I don't believe in destiny and soul mates either. I think there are lots of people that I connect with on different levels and any one of them could be a compatible match for me.
07/07/2011
froggiemoma froggiemoma
not sure i believe in "destiny or soul mates"
07/08/2011
SexyLilPixi SexyLilPixi
Quote:
Originally posted by Tori Rebel
I think people are meant to be, but not necessarily meant to be forever. People come into our lives to strengthen, challenge, teach, and sometimes even hurt us for the benefit of the growth that comes from healing. So far I've had THREE people ... More
That was great!

As for me, I'm waiting impatiently & making the effort to be with whom I believe is my true soulmate. Things are complicated to say the least. Others we know seem determined to get in the way & throw guilt around, and I just long to spend the rest of my life with him. Luckily, he's my best friend, and I'm gearing up to snatch him up & bring us to the next level.
07/14/2011
Redboxbaby Redboxbaby
I do believe we are soul mates. We grew up living 400 miles away from each other, both moved to the same state (some 600 miles from home) for work and lived 100 miles from each other there. My friend went to a training class 300 miles away and met him; they found out how close they lived to each other and my friend decided we'd be perfect for each other and arranged a weekend for my husband to visit.

It was truly love at first sight. We got married 4 months later and have been best of friends and happily married for 18 years. We are completely in love with each other. I can not imagine my life without him to be honest.
07/14/2011
Crichton Crichton
I would like to say yes, but I doubt he would say the same. Here is the reason behind this:

For me, he is what I normally would never go for, not like he's a bad boy or anything there are just some habits like smoking and drinking which he does rarely that I would've normally never wanted a guy to do. We also live on separate coasts and see each other a few times a year. We clicked immediately though, like we've known each other for years even though it hasn't even been a year since we've become friends and eventually lovers. He compliments me perfectly and loves to experiment sexually just as much as I do. He is my perfect sexual partner and so far my perfect partner in general. I don't ever want to let him go. I was never big on the idea of marriage, but I want to marry him, more than any other man I've been with. The thing is he doesn't ever want to get married, but then again when I was his age I didn't either.

I fell head over heels for him while I was in a previous 9 year relationship with the father of my children. I know. That relationship was dying and it wasn't what I wanted anymore, there were things that I didn't want anymore and I was getting depressed in the relationship and so on. My boyfriend was a mutual friend of mine and my ex and so he feels super guilty because of a break up that was in the process before he came along.

As for my boyfriend, he doesn't like kids and the fact that I have them is one thing that will prevent the relationship from ever going any further. He not only isn't comfortable around them, they are also a constant reminder of my ex and he is still dealing with the feelings that he caused the break up. He doesn't want a reminder of my ex. He's told me he can't live with my kids.

He's come around a lot in our relationship. He's admit that he's gotten closer to me than any other girl before and considers me his first real relationship. He also said he could never live with someone more than a month because he likes to have time to himself. We lived together for 3 months before I had to move back here because I wasn't able to find a job. I just suppose it's something I have to let him figure out. I just don't like the thought that I'm wasting my time if he doesn't want to go the next step.
07/21/2011
js250 js250
Quote:
Originally posted by Bignuf
Some cultures and religions believe everyone has a "soul mate" that is their destiny, and that you should wait until you feel the "divine spark" and know you are with THAT person.

Do you think your long term love was ... More
Definitely, the paths we took in our lives were so bizarrely twisted to bring us together. We were best friends, loved each other nad are now married.
07/21/2011
Beck Beck
I think that I am with my male soul mate. I think I also have a female soul mate and I know who she is. I do not believe we are destined for one person at all!
07/22/2011
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Unique posters: 22