Best friends with an ex?

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Best friends with an ex?

Tangerine Tangerine
After ending an 11 year relationship (that was strictly platonic for the last 8 yrs) My ex and I have moved on. Though we could not stand each other in our relationship, we seem to be best friends now. Both of us have moved on rather quickly and have found new girlfrinds that we have been with for a year or so. We chat for a few each day via email, txt, or call (during the workday) just to check and see how the other is doing. We both feel like we have found the one we want to commit to. If you were the current girlfriend/boyfriend, how would you feel about the continued friendship with the ex?
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
Enough is Enough. Stop
22
It's okay but you should limit the communication
9
As long as you are NOT interested and NEVER will be again... It's cool
24
Other
10
Total votes: 65 (59 voters)
Poll is closed
12/02/2011
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Peggi Peggi
I voted "other". Being the current, he still talks to his ex's, at least the ones he is not still bitter with. This includes the ex that he was talking to the DAY we began chatting online, trying to get back together with her. She said no, and a day after we got together, she said she changed her mind. Then he told her he had someone else, and they stayed friends. I've never been jealous, and she ended up actually asking me for permission to stay friends with him which was the COOLEST, because it made me realize the type of person she was and I felt super comfortable. He even had her over before he'd moved to my house at the time, and no one else was there, but I wasn't irritated.

Now, she and I are super close, probably more than they are!

I don't mind communication with the ex's but it depends on the ex and how the relationship ended. Just like he has no issues with me talking to my ex husband, even though the ex still makes tons of attempts to "win me back", and my sweetie actually finds humor in it because he knows there's no way I'd cheat on him especially not for the ex!
12/02/2011
jedent jedent
my ex husband and i live together still, and my fiance has lived with us for nearly two years now. my ex is my best friend, and we co parent 100% of the time. he's dating now and even when he wasn't (concentrating on school and career) he's always been supportive of me and my fiance's relationship.

we get along very well, always have, we just don't really work as a husband and wife unit. it's interesting but totally true.
12/02/2011
~LaUr3n~ ~LaUr3n~
I have an ex that I am best friends with.
12/02/2011
Jul!a Jul!a
My husband was the ex I was best friends with. Neither of us talk to any of my exes, and there's one of his that we're both friends with.
12/05/2011
kittychilla kittychilla
i've been friends with an ex before. :3
12/05/2011
Kdlips Kdlips
its cool
12/05/2011
sktb0007 sktb0007
I don't have any exes I am BEST friends with, but I get along with most of them and I consider a few of them to be friends.
12/05/2011
Trishcuit629 Trishcuit629
It 100% depends on the two people. I've tried to maintain friendships with ex's before, and have been unable, but I know many (ex) couples who are able to remain friends.
12/05/2011
switzerland switzerland
to each their own. but it bothers me that my man would feel the need to still talk to them... and i've talked to him about it and i understand his view, and he understands mine. we just need to find a happy medium
12/05/2011
Beck Beck
No, you really should not, unless there is something that still bonds you together like children. Then it is important to remain on good terms to make the best decisions for your children! If there is nothing to keep you bonded like that, then you really should avoid friendships, people often try to get back what they once had. You can be friends, but that does not mean you should talk regularly and hang out and whatever.
12/05/2011
js250 js250
I have had issues with my husband's ex trying to cause problems and then acting like there was no big deal. I think it depends on the people involved, it just would not be a good situation for us, been there, done that and got burned!!
12/05/2011
l'amour l'amour
I'm still friends with one of my exes. We're not super close as we once were, because of different views, but I still care for him and would help him out any time.
12/05/2011
El-Jaro El-Jaro
I think it's cool you two can still talk and want to talk. It's good when people can end a relationship and still talk, but emotions make a bumpy road sometimes.
12/05/2011
Envy Envy
As long as there's no chance of them getting back together and it stays as a friendship, I don't mind. Would I want to stay friends with my exes, though? It depends on the circumstances of how we broke up: if it was bad break up, then no, but if it was a mutual drifting or just other incompatibilities, then yes, I'd want to stay friends.
12/05/2011
indiglo indiglo
I don't think that's something I would want. Unless you have a child with the person (like Beck said) and you are forever bonded, I think when it's over, it's best to move on. I would just feel weird about that, and it seems like it would be really easy for that to get complicated.
12/05/2011
SexyStuff SexyStuff
I totally struggle with jealousy, so I might have an issue, especially if you seem to be better friends with her than with your new gf. However, I think it is possible and wonderful.
12/05/2011
shcoo shcoo
I've had too many problems with my partner's exes disrespecting me, so I have to say no, there should be zero contact.
12/05/2011
Sublime Sublime
In my opinion and experience, someone always wants something more. I've never seen Ex's staying friends work out.
12/05/2011
Tripod95 Tripod95
Quote:
Originally posted by Tangerine
After ending an 11 year relationship (that was strictly platonic for the last 8 yrs) My ex and I have moved on. Though we could not stand each other in our relationship, we seem to be best friends now. Both of us have moved on rather quickly and have ...
Im really good friends with ex's from less serious relationships. Serious ones are harder to stay friends after.
12/06/2011
geliebt geliebt
In truth, it would make me uncomfortable for my partner to be in close contact with an ex. I can get jealous fast, and I know it. I don't think there's necessarily anything wrong with it, but I know it can go bad quickly.
12/06/2011
Gingy Gingy
Im never friends with ex's it just creates to many problems for the new partner.
12/07/2011
GONE! GONE!
I know a lot of people who are friends with their exes but it never worked out well for me personally.
12/08/2011
(Re)tired Stripper (Re)tired Stripper
I think if it's been years it might be ok. Or if the two split up and moved away and had no contact for a good long while (like years). If one is still single but the other is attached, it seems odd. I think it also depends on how serious the dating was. I'm friends with people I dated casually, as in a month or two of seeing each other a few times a week. Nobody is threatened by that, but a serious cohabiting relationship that ended fairly recently with contact kept the whole time? I'd be super suspicious because MANY times people DO get back with their exes, even just for a one-time sexual fling. Grass is greener, etc.

I actually did better with my ex as roommates to each other than when we dated--no fighting--but that's highly unusual and not usually cool. When we started spending nights at other places, in the beginning, it was a little rough I could tell.

Time and distance are key. You can't just transition from partners to pals by saying it shall be so. Your heart and your brain won't be on the same page. Plus I've found it pisses off new significant others. Drama, mess, ew!
12/10/2011
allybee allybee
You're making it uncomfortable for the other.
12/10/2011
Kitka Kitka
I think it's okay if the people involved really understand the boundaries and don't try to get back together. Some can handle it and some can't.
12/10/2011
Undead Undead
Quote:
Originally posted by Tangerine
After ending an 11 year relationship (that was strictly platonic for the last 8 yrs) My ex and I have moved on. Though we could not stand each other in our relationship, we seem to be best friends now. Both of us have moved on rather quickly and have ...
I don't think there is a need to be that close to an ex, they are your ex for a reason
01/01/2012
Zombirella Zombirella
Quote:
Originally posted by Tangerine
After ending an 11 year relationship (that was strictly platonic for the last 8 yrs) My ex and I have moved on. Though we could not stand each other in our relationship, we seem to be best friends now. Both of us have moved on rather quickly and have ...
I am not friends with any of my exes that were long term relationships because I just felt it was better that way for me, especially if I wasn't the one that ended it or if I was cheated on. I'm glad my fiance isn't friends with any of his exes, I just know I wouldn't be comfortable with that.
01/04/2012
SaMiKaY SaMiKaY
Quote:
Originally posted by Trishcuit629
It 100% depends on the two people. I've tried to maintain friendships with ex's before, and have been unable, but I know many (ex) couples who are able to remain friends.
Ditto
01/04/2012
Megan Jean Megan Jean
I'm horribly jealous, so I wouldn't be okay with it
01/04/2012
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Total posts: 32
Unique posters: 32