I know a lot of couples watch porn together, but would it bother you if they watched it by themselves ?
Do you care if your husband/boyfriend or wife/girlfriend looks at porn by themselves.
My wife feels porn is sexist, and for the most part, I agree. When I think about it, and I mean REALLY think about it, porn just makes me feel sad, and I start to think that our society values all the wrong things. I'm sorry if that's a major downer for anyone, but I can't think my way around this one.
01/27/2011
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Most mainstream porn definitely is sexist and catering to a horny, ignorant male audience but there is still lots made by gender-, size-, sex-positive people that are just as passionate about equality as they are making porn. It can be pretty liberating to enjoy that kind of porn, even more so than erotic sometimes!
Originally posted by
Yoda
My wife feels porn is sexist, and for the most part, I agree. When I think about it, and I mean REALLY think about it, porn just makes me feel sad, and I start to think that our society values all the wrong things. I'm sorry if that's a major downer
...
My wife feels porn is sexist, and for the most part, I agree. When I think about it, and I mean REALLY think about it, porn just makes me feel sad, and I start to think that our society values all the wrong things. I'm sorry if that's a major downer for anyone, but I can't think my way around this one.
01/27/2011
I voted yes, but it really depends.
It's complicated. It doesn't have much to do with body types, such insecurities. My problem probably goes to the days when I had a hyper-sex drive. And He didn't like that all I thought about was sex. We had sex then less than I wanted to. I found out that he still looked at porn. Yes, yes, I have considered different things, trying to be sensitive. But I couldn't help but to feel sad. My porn stash, his, was somewhat hidden for a few years.
A few years ago, I felt re-awakened to the beauty of erotic art. I got some old art books out. I loved the new eroge (Japanese games with sexual aspects.). So, we slowly started working this stuff back into our lives. But we didn't get it to beat off with. Truly. It was a deeper appreciation.
My partner probably gets his fix to look at naughty things in the manga he reads aimed at women (it's not really hentai. He likes romance more.). But he doesn't get any time at home alone with how our lifestyle is, so if he feels excited by it, he holds it in and takes his pent up energy out on me later.
We've tried taming things to make each other happy. I don't think our approach is unhealthy. We seem a lot happier than a lot of couples we know...
Also...I mentioned not feeling insecure about body types. No, that isn't the problem. It's the aesthetic I find in most porn unpleasing. If I found my partner getting off to something with the opposite of what I go for physically, I'd feel like I didn't know him. But mostly, he likes imaginary girls more than flesh and blood ones.
It's complicated. It doesn't have much to do with body types, such insecurities. My problem probably goes to the days when I had a hyper-sex drive. And He didn't like that all I thought about was sex. We had sex then less than I wanted to. I found out that he still looked at porn. Yes, yes, I have considered different things, trying to be sensitive. But I couldn't help but to feel sad. My porn stash, his, was somewhat hidden for a few years.
A few years ago, I felt re-awakened to the beauty of erotic art. I got some old art books out. I loved the new eroge (Japanese games with sexual aspects.). So, we slowly started working this stuff back into our lives. But we didn't get it to beat off with. Truly. It was a deeper appreciation.
My partner probably gets his fix to look at naughty things in the manga he reads aimed at women (it's not really hentai. He likes romance more.). But he doesn't get any time at home alone with how our lifestyle is, so if he feels excited by it, he holds it in and takes his pent up energy out on me later.
We've tried taming things to make each other happy. I don't think our approach is unhealthy. We seem a lot happier than a lot of couples we know...
Also...I mentioned not feeling insecure about body types. No, that isn't the problem. It's the aesthetic I find in most porn unpleasing. If I found my partner getting off to something with the opposite of what I go for physically, I'd feel like I didn't know him. But mostly, he likes imaginary girls more than flesh and blood ones.
01/27/2011
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Yes, like your partner--I'm pretty uptight and people who are too relaxed frustrate me. I have a weird sort of pride attached to my uptight-ness! Uptight people, unite! I'm sorry that it bothers you, though.
Originally posted by
Gunsmoke
Actually I wish she watch porn once in a while. I think she would be less up-tight - but alas people who are uptight don't want to see that others are not! Catch-22 I think?
01/28/2011
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It doesn't bother me - I love way too much for something that small to be an issue. She's very receptive to my suggestions - so we just go with it that way. Would I like her to have an idea once in a while yes - but it is what it is.
Originally posted by
Alura Une
Yes, like your partner--I'm pretty uptight and people who are too relaxed frustrate me. I have a weird sort of pride attached to my uptight-ness! Uptight people, unite! I'm sorry that it bothers you, though.
01/28/2011
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You love her a lot, and she's willing to take suggestions, those things right there mean a lot. I wish you two the best!
Originally posted by
Gunsmoke
It doesn't bother me - I love way too much for something that small to be an issue. She's very receptive to my suggestions - so we just go with it that way. Would I like her to have an idea once in a while yes - but it is what it is.
01/28/2011
