I don't care if he looks at porn. If I'm home, I prefer he watch it with me, but he's a grown man and free to do what he likes.
For years, I liked porn, but only was able to see it in sleazy motels we sometimes went to, or at a friend's house who had a BetaMax or an early VCR or something.
Then, I got too involved in unhealthy preoccupation with 2nd wave feminism, I was "offended" by every thing on earth. Everything had an ulterior, "sexist" motive and I am sure I was very difficult to live with.
Years later we got a VCR and I found him watching porn one night after he thought I had fallen asleep. I was upset. I was not in a healthy place in my life then, my sex drive was low, I was depressed and I was misinformed by people with agendea about what porn is all about.
A few years later, I started to rethink my life, how My Man and I were getting along, (not well then) and how my attitude contributed to the problems.
I decided to be more tolerant, more accepting, to be less judgmental and came to the realization that a lot of my "offense" I took to things was my choice
. I think we can choose whether or not to let certain things offend us. Especially if they are things that really hurt no one. Yeah, Nazis offend me, still, but other things I simply don't care for much
don't have to "offend" me. I can simply choose not to like them.
Anyway, when I had this change of mind and worked on how I
was working on our relationship, my sex drive went through the roof again (it had been higher when I was younger and less "offendable") My Man asked me if he could show me some porn he really enjoyed by himself, because he wanted me to enjoy it with him........and the rest is history.
We've had a Renaissance in our sex life in the last 5 or so years, sex toys entered our lives, more sex than ever, more tolerance, and yes, some porn. I made a conscious choice to make our relationship better, by being more tolerant. We also realized the D/s aspect of our relationship, which had been there, only slightly recognized forever. It was liberating to allow these changes to take place. But, I had to think about my sense of "offense" and work to overcome it, first of all by letting all the bullshit of everything from Betty Friedan to Oprah to Dr. Phil out of my brain. I had to think for myself, use my instincts and realize that sex is the healthiest way My Man and I relate and recognize all the aspects of our relationship. It was not as difficult as I thought, because holding on to all that "offense" and feelings of being downtrodden was very heavy and dragged me down. I am glad I went through this, with the help of not only My Man, but listening to my sex drive and reality.
I feel if people really don't like it, they don't have to watch it.
But, as for women being "objects" etc, I feel we aren't any more objectified than we are in mainstream movies. (Anybody seen a "Romantic Comedy" lately? Women are portrayed as silly, unrealistic fools, who worst of all GET WHAT THEY WANT in unrealistic situations.) IMO, Romantic Comedies are more damaging to women and men and our relationships than a scene of people fucking.
JMHO. Mileage and all that shit.