Do you think she will be back?

butterflygirlxo butterflygirlxo
So I was with this girl for 3 years, we never fought, or argued. We got along perfect. Well a little over 3 months ago I left her because she wanted to spend the rest of her life with me, and I wasn't sure that's what I wanted. I told her I needed some time. Well after 2 months I decided that she is who I wanted to spend the rest of my life with and no I never dated or slept with any other girls. She of course started seeing someone else about 2 weeks after the break up. I wrote her and told her how I felt poured my heart out. We ended up meeting that same day. We hung out for a week behind her new boyfriends back until she finally told me she didn't want to do that anymore and that she was confused. She told me that we would have to stop talking. So a few days went by without us talking then she broke up with her new boyfriend and made him move out of their apartment. However she still told me she was confused and was hanging out with him one night and me the other. This went on for 2 weeks. Finally I asked her if she was still sleeping with him she said yes. She never slept with me. I told her she needed to chose and she picked him. I'm confused, she told me she loved me when we were hanging out and we even talked about getting married after we both graduated from College, we even talked about me moving in with her, but now the new guy is back living with her. Do you think she will come back around if she truly loved me?

By the way I'm a guy using my friends account for advice. I understand I made a mistake by lettering her go
09/11/2013
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Oriental husband and wife Oriental husband and wife
It sounds so sad. From what you wrote it seems like she might be your first relationship. Or the first serious one at the least. Many times first romance do not last. At that age you 2 are probably like best friends. Even high school sweethearts that get married get divorced. Instead of waiting around I would move on and see the rest of the world.

We both had long term relationship as teens. Neither of us are with that person anymore.
09/11/2013
lana'sart lana'sart
Quote:
Originally posted by butterflygirlxo
So I was with this girl for 3 years, we never fought, or argued. We got along perfect. Well a little over 3 months ago I left her because she wanted to spend the rest of her life with me, and I wasn't sure that's what I wanted. I told her I ... More
I do not think that she will be back and I honestly think that it is a good idea that you are not together anymore.
09/11/2013
lana'sart lana'sart
Quote:
Originally posted by Oriental husband and wife
It sounds so sad. From what you wrote it seems like she might be your first relationship. Or the first serious one at the least. Many times first romance do not last. At that age you 2 are probably like best friends. Even high school sweethearts that ... More
I have to agree with you
09/11/2013
Ansley Ansley
There's always a chance but it doesn't mean you should be hanging around waiting for her. Youth does play into this to a degree, and nothing can change that but time and experience. If my 32 year old self could have a conversation with my 23 year old self, I think there would be a whole lot of finger-wagging and raised voices going on...boy, was I head strong. But anyway, let her go play with this new-found "love" of hers. Don't interfere, don't let it weigh on your mind and certainly keep her out of your bed.

You have to make the statement, whether spoken or not, that you will not be a yo-yo on a string for her. Normally, when a girl says she wants to spend the rest of her life with a gentleman, she means it. If her heart is set on it, her mind will eventually catch up.

She could be going back and forth because both of you are making demands in some form and she doesn't want to feel controlled by either of you. If she knows you're there to run to when things get rough with him, she'll eventually start sabotaging both of the relationships to create a safety-net that suits her needs when she needs them.

tl;dr: Don't be that guy. Tell her no. Don't let her work you and when she figures out what she wants, you'll still have a clear head about you and can make a wise decision instead of one made in the heat of the impending drama this girl is about to create. How do I know this? I used to be her...and then I grew up.
09/12/2013
Wicked Wahine Wicked Wahine
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley
There's always a chance but it doesn't mean you should be hanging around waiting for her. Youth does play into this to a degree, and nothing can change that but time and experience. If my 32 year old self could have a conversation with my 23 ... More
Wow, Stormy, that's some great advice! Not that you don't always give good advice, but you really stopped me in my tracks with that last zinger!
09/12/2013
RonLee RonLee
I have no advice to offer.
However, I will say that even in my fifties my heart has still been broken.
09/12/2013
Total posts: 7
Unique posters: 6