Does fine ever really mean everything is fine?

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Does fine ever really mean everything is fine?

Cedarlooman Cedarlooman
As a guy I cringe inwardly (and many times outwardly) when my SO says "it's fine". When I say something is fine I mean it is okay and there is nothing wrong with it. When she says fine, it usually means you are going to be fixing this later and I am going to hold it over you until you do...or sometimes something even worse. Does anyone else experience this? Is it really a man/woman thing? Please vote and discuss...(I left the poll private so as not to set up your own "fine" situation in your own household.
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
I am a man and when I say fine, I mean it
23
I am a man and when he/she says fine, I am in trouble
15
I am a man and when I say fine, he/she is in trouble
I am a man and when he/she says fine, he/she means it is fine
I am a woman and when I say fine, it means it is fine
34
I am a woman and when he/she says fine, I am in trouble
4
I am a woman and when I say fine, he/she is in trouble
36
I am a woman and when he/she says fine, he/she means it is fine
13
Other--just cause.
28
Total votes: 153 (102 voters)
Poll is closed
05/29/2011
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MaryExy MaryExy
I usually really mean fine, but every now and then I just say it because I don't feel like debating something at the time. I'll also say fine when I'm hormonal and know that it's probably just the hormones saying I'm not actually fine.
05/29/2011
kelaaa33wish kelaaa33wish
When I say it is fine ,normally I have my hands going and he knows I am pissed off.
05/29/2011
BBW Talks Toys BBW Talks Toys
I said "other" because you didn't give me my option.

I'm a woman and when I say "It's fine," it can sometimes mean it's fine, or it can mean trouble. Often times, actually, MOST of the time... I mean "fine" because it's something that I don't want to argue about or I've processed the information and it either isn't worth the argument or I realized in the "grand scheme" it's not a big deal.
05/29/2011
big b big b
im a man and when i say fine im fine.when the wife says fine hells going to brake out.
05/29/2011
Jul!a Jul!a
Quote:
Originally posted by BBW Talks Toys
I said "other" because you didn't give me my option.

I'm a woman and when I say "It's fine," it can sometimes mean it's fine, or it can mean trouble. Often times, actually, MOST of the time... I mean ...
That's pretty much me too. Most of the time I say something is "fine" it's something that's going to bother me for a little while right then, but isn't worth arguing about and isn't something that's going to be a big deal long term. I try to make a point of taking care of anything that might bother me long term before it has a chance to turn into something we're going to argue about.
05/29/2011
ac0313 ac0313
When I say fine, I mean it. I have found that when most women say fine, it does mean something is wrong and it will be thrown in my face later...
05/29/2011
Coralbell Coralbell
It depends. Sometimes it really is fine, and sometimes I just don't want to talk about it.
05/29/2011
tickle me pink tickle me pink
It all depends on the tone of voice for me, and he knows it. If I sound normal, it really is fine. If I'm mad, I'll say it like I'm mad. He usually doesn't have to do too much guessing on whether I'm angry or not.
05/29/2011
ToyTimeTim ToyTimeTim
Quote:
Originally posted by BBW Talks Toys
I said "other" because you didn't give me my option.

I'm a woman and when I say "It's fine," it can sometimes mean it's fine, or it can mean trouble. Often times, actually, MOST of the time... I mean ...
This is the wife to a T. I am never sure just how 'fine' she means it but I know that it will not last long.

When I say fine, it means just that. I do not play games with words with her and never will.
05/29/2011
BBW Talks Toys BBW Talks Toys
Quote:
Originally posted by ToyTimeTim
This is the wife to a T. I am never sure just how 'fine' she means it but I know that it will not last long.

When I say fine, it means just that. I do not play games with words with her and never will.
I don't mean it to play games with my words, but I have a short temper and I am learning to bite my tongue before I say stuff I'll regret. The problem always is that Mr likes to push for my reaction. "What do you mean? What are you thinking? Are you mad?" I just say, "It's fine," and I walk away so I can go process what I'm thinking. If I decide that I need to talk about the scenario later, I'll bring it up in a way where I'm *EXPRESSING* my feelings rather than *PROJECTING* them onto him.
05/29/2011
Taylor Taylor
I usually say I'm fine when something is upsetting me and I don't want to talk about it right then for whatever reason. I will usually come back to it later and discuss it with them later when I've had some time to think about my feelings.
05/29/2011
Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
I think the cliche is pretty accurate - when I say fine it's because she's asking about my job or something that may not be fine - but it's nothing to do with her. When she says fine - I'm likely in trouble! But it won't be long before we talk it out and everything will really be 'fine'.
05/29/2011
Kdlips Kdlips
no it means fuck you
05/29/2011
GravyCakes GravyCakes
Quote:
Originally posted by Cedarlooman
As a guy I cringe inwardly (and many times outwardly) when my SO says "it's fine". When I say something is fine I mean it is okay and there is nothing wrong with it. When she says fine, it usually means you are going to be fixing this ...
usually when i say fine, i mean fine or i mean that i either don't want to talk about it or am not ready to.
05/29/2011
ZenaidaMacroura ZenaidaMacroura
A lot of the time, "fine" doesn't mean fine. I admit I sometimes have a problem talking about my feelings, so sometimes I say "it's fine" when I don't mean it, hoping that with a little time to myself, I will mean it. If that makes sense.
05/30/2011
Redboxbaby Redboxbaby
When my husband says things are fine, they are. When I say it, he assumes things are not fine and then proceeds to pester me about it, until I am pissed. If he'd just give me a minute or ten to think it over logically (without badgering me), I would most likely get over it altogether.

Thanks for bring this question up. We had a nice chat about it and he is going to practice taking my "fine" at face value.
05/30/2011
Linga Linga
"Fine" should always be a big red flag lol
05/30/2011
A Closet Slut (aka nipplepeople) A Closet Slut (aka nipplepeople)
I never say "fine" when I don't mean it. Actually, I'm usually too straightforward about my feelings.
05/30/2011
BBW Talks Toys BBW Talks Toys
Quote:
Originally posted by Redboxbaby
When my husband says things are fine, they are. When I say it, he assumes things are not fine and then proceeds to pester me about it, until I am pissed. If he'd just give me a minute or ten to think it over logically (without badgering me), I ...
THIS... OMG THIS.
05/30/2011
liilii080 liilii080
Quote:
Originally posted by ZenaidaMacroura
A lot of the time, "fine" doesn't mean fine. I admit I sometimes have a problem talking about my feelings, so sometimes I say "it's fine" when I don't mean it, hoping that with a little time to myself, I will mean it. If that makes sense.
Yup. I am here too. I sometimes say fine meaning I am not fine now but I hope I can get over whatever is bugging me and then it Will be fine. I do not use it as a means of blocking the issue though. If pressed I will tell what is bugging me but my guy knows me well enough to just let me go.
05/30/2011
Anjulie Anjulie
Quote:
Originally posted by MaryExy
I usually really mean fine, but every now and then I just say it because I don't feel like debating something at the time. I'll also say fine when I'm hormonal and know that it's probably just the hormones saying I'm not actually fine.
Same here.
05/30/2011
El-Jaro El-Jaro
When I say it, it usually means "fine". I don't like to play with words like this in an argument. When a person does, they hamper communication and make the situation worse (has the acidic "fine" ever really helped?).

My partner used to do this, until I asked that they not. If there's an issue that they don't want to talk about or would rather talk about later, I've asked that she say just that; "I don't want to talk about it now. I'd rather talk about it more calmly later."

If one partner punishes the other with words, communication is the first thing lost.
05/30/2011
froggiemoma froggiemoma
when i say "i'm good" usually means it's not good
05/30/2011
NarcissisticLust NarcissisticLust
"Fine" is usually the last word on an unresolved argument for me.
05/30/2011
Eucaly Eucaly
Quote:
Originally posted by Cedarlooman
As a guy I cringe inwardly (and many times outwardly) when my SO says "it's fine". When I say something is fine I mean it is okay and there is nothing wrong with it. When she says fine, it usually means you are going to be fixing this ...
Fine means that I am too tired to have an emotional discussion now.
05/30/2011
AOutrajus AOutrajus
it depends on what it is...im a fairly easy going person and when i say its fine i mean its fine but if somethings happened that really makes me mad then fine means im going to be mad for the rest of the day.
05/30/2011
Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by Cedarlooman
As a guy I cringe inwardly (and many times outwardly) when my SO says "it's fine". When I say something is fine I mean it is okay and there is nothing wrong with it. When she says fine, it usually means you are going to be fixing this ...
Generally it means that it's actually fine...as in it's acceptible but not necessarily preferable. That's where the trouble comes in, it might be fine right now but if the situation changes often my frustration at the original situation will boil over. So my guys get understandably worried when I say something is fine. Now if I say something is "just fine" I am not likely to get really upset if things go wrong.
05/30/2011
pixieluv pixieluv
FINE: Fucked up, Insecure, Neurotic and Emotional

Mostly "fine" is different for me and my husband depending on how it is said. If casual and not threatening, it usually means fine. If it is said with a huff or tension in the voice or with a growl, for my partner it means leave him alone, for me it means keep asking cause I need to talk about it and things are not fine
05/30/2011
Cedarlooman Cedarlooman
Wow...great replies everyone. Good to see I am not alone. And I have seen where she has used it to mean: I want to talk about it later, but why not just say that? LOL
05/30/2011
Total posts: 65
Unique posters: 54