Does sex ever feel like a chore to you?

aliceinthehole aliceinthehole
you know what i'm talking about... he gets all excited, or maybe even you do, the kissing gets steamy, and then just thinking about... man now we have to get naked, put the one part in the other part and move around until he comes... it just makes you feel tired? like 'damn, that's gonna be alot of work.' like climbing a hill?

what do you do when/if you feel that way? please indulge us in your savvy advices below, if you will.

thank you.



alice.
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
i never feel like sex is a chore.
49  (37%)
i have felt like sex is a chore before, but only once or twice.
22  (17%)
i feel this way every now and then.
59  (44%)
sex is often like dragging a dead deer up a hill for me/us.
3  (2%)
Total votes: 133
Poll is closed
10/24/2011
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aliceinthehole aliceinthehole
surely there are more folks than me who feel sluggish when it comes to sex at times... anyone?

or is everyone on EF because their sex life is so amazing and hot and they just want to keep it going?

10/24/2011
Lucky21 Lucky21
I've never felt that way. Ever.
10/24/2011
Ansley Ansley
I've never felt this way, because he's never made me feel obligated to have sex with him. The times where he's a little more into than I am, he's perfectly content to just let me lay there because he knows I'll make up for it in another way with either lingerie, a new toy or an awesome burst of energy later in the night. I don't think I've ever turned him down without there being some sort of medical condition present that made sex painful for me. I'll always take care of his needs...because I want to, not because I have to.
10/24/2011
Beck Beck
I never do. I never have turned down sex. Even after having my two children and I could not have sex during postpartum. I gave two or 3 BJ's a day. I am a horny bitch though.
10/24/2011
GonetoLovehoney GonetoLovehoney
The only time I have ever turned down sex from my boyfriend was the week of side effects after my Depo shot, I just lose my rather high sex drive for the week following the injection.
10/24/2011
Antipova Antipova
I ... don't really ever feel this way. Maybe if I'm very sick with a stomachache, but that's pretty rare.

I've got a nonsensically high sex drive, both mentally and physically*. My partner's complained a few times that I'll have hurt my arm or leg or something at work, and I won't tell him til *after* we've had sex for the night. "You should have told me! I need to know these things so I don't hurt you!" "Honey, if I told you, you'd try to be all gallant and we wouldn't get to have sex!" and then he just sort of frownsmiles, because he knows I'm right

*I recently (3 months ago?) started a course of antidepressants, and it's been really interesting because while my physical libido is slowed a little bit, the mental component is just as strong as ever. So when I'm not around my partner, I masturbate ~ every two days instead of twice/day, but I still think about sex a lot, and when I'm with my partner I still warm up whenever we get started. The 'warm up' is kind of new, though---I used to be always ready and rarin' at the drop of a hat, but now sometimes I have a little of that 'sigh' that you mentioned beforehand. But let me get a good look at him (and maybe a good tweak or two on my nipples) and I forget about the "hassle" that made me sigh.
10/24/2011
Katastophy Katastophy
Speaking in terms of my last relationship -- sometimes. My relationship was pretty rocky emotionally, so there would be times when I was upset but he still wanted to fool around. If I wasn't too upset to turn him down, it would still feel like a chore. Not a healthy relationship at all, I know.
10/24/2011
- Kira - - Kira -
I've gone through slumps where I felt like this but it was due to medications. I don't know that it's happened without antidepressants being at fault.
10/24/2011
aliceinthehole aliceinthehole
hmm... well i've always suffered from pretty severe depression... maybe it's that?

and not just me being some doomed-to-dull-sexlife dullard?
10/24/2011
Pixel Pixel
I have a ridiculously high sex drive, so have never experienced that feeling.
10/24/2011
The Curious Couple The Curious Couple
I've never felt like sex is a chore, but I'd imagine it depends on the people involved and the relationship between them.
10/24/2011
- Kira - - Kira -
Quote:
Originally posted by aliceinthehole
hmm... well i've always suffered from pretty severe depression... maybe it's that?

and not just me being some doomed-to-dull-sexlife dullard?
Now that you mention that and I think about it some more, when I'm super depressed my sex drive drops. I don't get the "chore" feeling that I do when I'm on antidepressants but I do feel less in the mood.
10/24/2011
t00sl0w t00sl0w
yeah, like once or twice when i felt like death.
10/24/2011
SexyTabby SexyTabby
Sometimes if I'm drained from doing other things I'm like lawd can I get him off quick with some oral and go back to being miserable alone. The only thing with that is that I end up getting horny and then anything I was fussy about to begin with usually fades. I wouldn't consider it a "chore" though. I'm usually the one with the really high sex drive so it really isn't often. Once in a blue moon type thing.
10/24/2011
AndroAngel AndroAngel
I never feel that way because sex is never the same twice with us. We define intercourse as one possibility out of hundreds, so it's never a "we must do this" situation.
10/24/2011
RonLee RonLee
If sex ever gets to feeling like a chore to me... Call me Chore Boy!
10/24/2011
ac0313 ac0313
With my current SO of about 10 months, sex is never a chore. In fact, in our open relationship, we are so eager to have each other and find our sex to be the best we've ever had.
10/24/2011
sktb0007 sktb0007
Quote:
Originally posted by aliceinthehole
surely there are more folks than me who feel sluggish when it comes to sex at times... anyone?

or is everyone on EF because their sex life is so amazing and hot and they just want to keep it going?

Yes I have! I'm with you on this one Alice! I'm also taking anti-depressant meds though, and also on birth control which really slaughters my sex drive... but even without that stuff... I'm not in the mood 24/7. I'm probably one of the very few who feel this way on here, or at least admit it
10/25/2011
Peggi Peggi
There are times I don't really feel up to it but as soon as we start then I am all for it!
10/25/2011
AmberM AmberM
i LOVE sex too much for it to become a chore!
10/25/2011
lilly555 lilly555
I have never felt like sex is a chore although I don't doubt that there have been times when he has in that whole 'we just had sex why won't she leave me alone' way. But I'm confined to only twice a week due to our schedules so maybe if we were living together and there was constant access to sex I would feel this way...maybe
10/25/2011
indiglo indiglo
I think I maybe felt like that once with my man. I went ahead and did it, and then really got into it - so I was glad I did it. He doesn't pressure me though, if I am not in the mood he's content to not have sex. (That RARELY ever happens though.)

That's definitely a side effect/symptom of depression though, so that part isn't really all that surprising. Anti-depressants can further lower your sex drive too, so it's a little mix there.
10/25/2011
~LaUr3n~ ~LaUr3n~
GOD, no.
10/25/2011
CS2012 CS2012
Only if I wanted it really bad but was all ready physically and mentally exhausted.
10/25/2011
null null
Sex has felt like a chore a lot lately, somewhere between school, work, and new birth control I just don't enjoy it like I did. I feel like I owe it to my SO because I'm the one struggling with it, not him. Here's to hoping it gets better.
10/25/2011
IslandGoddess IslandGoddess
Maybe a few times in the past
10/26/2011
aliceinthehole aliceinthehole
cheers to you, Sthr. hope things improve for you as well.

i've heard of a tea called damiana leaf that's supposed to improve sex drive...

anyone else have suggestions to improving sex drive?
10/28/2011
TameTemptress TameTemptress
Only when I've had low sex drive due to birth control pills or after I had my second child and had PPD.
10/28/2011
Fun Lover Fun Lover
I guess that is why my wife and I like to hike so much, I have often wondered.
10/28/2011
Total posts: 90
Unique posters: 85