Originally posted by
And completely shut you off? If so, how long does that normally last and how frequently does it occur?
Yes, he gets angry, but never just shuts me out. In the 7 years we've been together, he's probably been truly angry at me 5-6 times and each time was a misunderstanding. For instance, his job is taking care of rental property & someone had moved out of this apartment that he had to go in and clean. STRANGELY (and I mean this sounds off the wall, but it's a true freak happening) he came across a piece of paper that said my name and my phone number! He knew that the person living there was a male, so he fucking flipped! He was furious with me. More pissed at me than ever before. This was the worst time he'd been angry at me. He came in saying I was cheating on him and was actually convinced of this. I knew I'd never cheated on him & was really thrown off about why my phone number would be in someone's house because I really don't talk on the phone and really don't have friends! LOL. Not male friends anyway. So I demanded that we go find the people who'd moved out of the house & clear it up. He agreed, but was sure that he was going to find out I was cheating. We found a lady who'd been living there & I ask her who else lived there & she told us the name and instantly I was laughing. It was this kid who used to talk to me & my partner. He'd call and want to talk on the phone for hours. I didn't know him really, but he'd had my number since high school since he'd call my twin sister & end up talking to me when she ignored him. He had a slight mental handicap, and when the lady said his name my partner was still confused & then let me tell you how lovely he felt after that. Oh yea. He knew there was no possible way I'd been cheating on him with this kid -- KID! lol.
SO that is one time where he really flew off the handle. HE never shuts me out though, but he's rarely angry at me. He gets angry easily at other things (ahem, serious case of road rage) but never just ignores me if I am the reason he's angry. I would get tired of that. I mean the only reason there is to shut off from someone you're mad at is if you feel they're going to just upset you worse, not care or something. Otherwise, if you're in a relationship, you know that you cannot let your anger build without communicating about it.
I have had boyfriends who would do this and shut me off for days at a time. That's just immature and a waste of time and I'm glad I did not stick around for that.
I don't shut my partner out. There have been times back when I was going through crappy times from a traumatic event in my life, I'd get very upset over something that "triggered" my event & get quiet. He'd ask what's wrong & I would not talk about it some days. It lasted for a long time until I was able to finally tell him comfortably how I was feeling. But being angry at him? I tell him. If it's something that's upset me to the point of shutting him off or being distant for an entire day, then it's clear it needs to be talked about, so it's not good to shut that person off.