Double Crossing Friend?

I would be wary of their need to hide it. If they're friends and friends only, there was no reason to hide the fact that they talk. So obviously, there is more going on here than what they're saying.

Personally, I don't feel the need to be privy to all my husband's conversations; however, if he were talking to someone secretly that would definitely be cause for concern.

I can tell you from experience that patterns are hard to break. If he's hiding this, there are other things he's likely hiding. You need to ask yourself if his hiding things is okay with you? If it's not, then you have your answer.

Yes i asked my friend, she told me she didn't tell me because it slipped her mind, and interestingly enough a while back i had a nightmare involving the two of them that upset me, i told her about it she said that is another reason she was worried i'd freak out..

Thanks, see i was more hurt about the whole situation than anything.. but i'm odd i suppose most would be angry

Thank you, you make a very interesting point and yes i do trust him, or atleast i did until this little mess. But in this case i do believe i'm more hurt by her actions than his since she has known me longer and well that whole friend thing. Also she wont really talk to me about it she doesnt like confrontation

Oh wow. Looks like you're in a very tough situation.
I'd be highly pissed. The thing is, my boyfriend and I have been together for 5 years and are very close & we both have most of the same beliefs when it comes to what is "faithful" and what we think isn't good in a relationship. We kind of sort things out this way:
1. How would I feel if the situation was reversed? If the answer is "I'd feel unhappy, mad, uncomfortable. Then we totally steer clear from it.

2. When it comes to putting yourself in a position where things could happen. I don't mean you could get out of control & sleep with someone else. I mean putting yourself in a position where someone would have a perfect chance to come onto you. Such as, in a bedroom alone with someone other than your partner, going to a party without partner, etc. We both do not put ourselves in any position like that. It seems tough, but it's actually not. If you have no intentions on cheating, then you won't miss out by not putting yourself in an awkward/bad position.

Some people may not like those kind of agreements in relationships, but that's what were comfortable with.

I think you should establish your comfort zones & your UNcomfortable zones and discuss them with your partner.

Given the 2 "rules" my partner & I like to go by, I would clearly be very upset & hurt if he was talking to my friend behind my back. You see, I'm a very paranoid person & I would always wonder is there a reason they kept it from me?

However, it may have been innocent. I would keep an eye out if it does make you uncomfortable. & if he truly loves you, then he would not want to make you feel uncomfortable again.

Sometimes it's just a matter of letting your partner know what you're ok with and what you're not ok with. I've found that when we go over things that we are not comfortable with, it really helps us avoid situations in the future!

I would tell him you are not happy about it & if it happens again, get rid of him. Anyone who can't respect your wishes is not worth your love. That's only my opinion though.

Best wishes with your dealing with this! I know how tough it must be.